Thursday, 13 March 2003
Humping and football
I love many other things as well. I love the Goo Goo Dolls. I love college bands playing their hearts out. I love the cool breezes in KL. I love a good meal... really good meals. I love it when music is in the air and you don’t really know where it’s coming from but you continue to walk and it just fits right.
I love motion, be it in the tops of trees or in the sway of a beautiful lady’s walk. The landscape passing by through the car window, out my bus window, while cycling or swimming. I love the steady and gentle humming of an air con and the smell of flowers and a friend’s laughter.
I love a good book, an informing newspaper or magazine article, a rousing political or religious speech. I love poetry readings and sweaty hot turbulent clubs with an unrecorded DJ ripping it apart while shot glasses are raised and a good time is being had.
And... I love football. Always have.
I love the way a football lands on your feet, the thrill of a great tackle…and more importantly I love that violent vibration feeling you get when you smack that ball towards the goal with all yer might. That rush of adrenaline, when they score those great goals…Well... It’s grand: D.
I watch it all the time, read the sports page. I also read lifestyle, cooking, city (sometimes), entertainment and the front page (sometimes)....but I love me sports page and comics most of all.
And as a 'kaki bangku', potbellied, sideline salad fetished pepsi-swilling fan... I love watching the games on TV. And I don’t watch to observe millionaires running around a grassy field. I don’t play with the statistics or bet lots of money on the spread. I don’t follow the trades or the scandals, I watch and listen and read merely for the love of the game.
Saw the replay of the European Champions League match between Manchester United and Basle today. Was eating ‘ta bau’ yee meen. 1-1 draw. Gary Neville scored Man U’s only goal in the second half with a nice shot which deflected off a Basle defender and ended up in goal.
Later, during an interview, Gary Neville used sexual imagery when trying to explain what it feels like to score that mighty, mighty goal. “It was the ultimate excitement - sensational feeling -charged with electricity - that was my all-time high, blah blah blah.” N I do agree with him. I can see that sometimes. Just like Ronaldo’s second goal in Brazil’s 2-0 win over Germany in the 2002 World Cup final – that felt pretty good, a really awesome release to an hour of mounting excitement.
From my experiences (er, I’ve seen American Pie 1 & 2, some 18sx shows, and many more “More Sx than 18sx” movies), the thing about comparing the orgasm with football is that the orgasm, though pleasurable, is familiar, repeatable (within a few hours if you’ve been eating yer greens), and predictable, especially for a man – if you’re gonna hump then you know what’s coming. Maybe if I hadn’t banged and humped for 21-22 years, and had given up hope of humping n banging for another 21 years, and then suddenly, out of the blue, a chance to hump comes along...then, it would be possible to recreate that World Cup moment :D.
Alright, getting it on with somebody is probably a nicer activity than watching the English Premier League (no offside trap, no 0-0 draws, no cup upsets) in the normal run of things. But the feelings it gives you are just not as intense as those brought about by a once-in-a-lifetime last-minute Championship winner. Remember when Solskjaer scored that winning goal against Bayern Munich in 1999? Man U lifted the nice big shiny European Cup, 2-1.
In me humble opinion, except for childbirth, none of the moments that people describe as the best in their lives live up to what you get from football. Achieving your ambition –scoring As in skool, promotions, awards – doesn’t have the last-minute time factor. You don’t feel as powerless as u feel during a Cup final (”dunno who’s gonna win, etc”). So what else can give you that rush of suddenness hey? A huge Toto/Magnum 4D win, maybe, hehe, but winning a lot of money affects u in a different way, it's got none of the highs of watching the English Premier League, Champions League, FA Cup.
De beautiful game..YEa:D
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Saturday, 8 March 2003
Funky Friday
Everyday for the last 7 days I’ve watched that Doggie toy swing back and forth in the upper right corner of my desk like some sort of hypnotic pocketwatch with fur. As I rubbed me eyes, knocked my head, still the dog swung.
‘You Will Do yer Moral Studies Quiz,’ it beckoned. But I did not want to. I don’t care how many marks it contributes to my end-of-semester results... I just really could give a rat’s arse about the quiz, I felt like I was Frodo Baggins hey, being made to carry that ring all of a sudden.
Of course, Miss Yong told us about it much earlier. I wrote down the date... yadda yadda yadda... And today comes along. First off... I woke up real early and I went to pick up me mum and lil’ sis from the airport this morning. 5 a.m. I came home fully intending to sleep. It didn’t happen. I took out me stuff and started airbrushing that assignment that’s due next week. Then.... zzzzzzzzzz...
*Beet * *Beep * Suddenly I’m awake. Qi Long is exclaiming for me to hurry. I have to get to school. So without opening my eyes I switch off the phone, get ready, shower, change, stumble to the car. Get it…And I ask... “Why so early?”
The quiz! Then the car was in reverse, the doors locked, there was no escape. I’m pleading with Qi Long that this quiz is so sucky it will warp me precious unspent spp_rrrmm into macho cellular yo-yos (choi! ppl say stupid things sumtimes, muahahah). Then, we’re at de skool.
I take a long swig of nice crystal-clear ice-cool water from that drinking machine(watever u call it). I sit in class taking an accounting of what exactly I had done in my life to end up in a seat for a Moral studies quiz. How does this happen? What did I do to meself hey? 11 years of studying Pendidikan Moral still not enough ar?
The funky personalities came out to do their regular huckstering. I saw Marfon, Boogaman, Onglai, Hakishi . The class was growling. Ms. Yong was being really upbeat and saying things like, “Good luck.” She smiled her smirky smile.
Then, it all began.
Basically what followed was a paper with 10 to 15 minutes of fun material splattered with another 15 minutes of boredom that reeked of wasted hours and moments of life and resources.
Last week’s Moral Studies class was much bettah, interesting.. it was about putting on the condom and safe sex, etc. MuahaHAha;D
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Thursday, 6 March 2003
I found this at the pasar malam:
All of the fanboys of the world, all the movie geeks of the world and all those doubting smartarses need to purse up their lips and kiss Ben Affleck’s perfectly formed macho arse and then dine on their own words, because Ben NAILS Daredevil perfectly.
The smile, the cockiness and charm of Matt Murdock and the determination and hate for the criminals that hang around Hell’s Kitchen… it’s all there. The pain and agony of a hero that knows pain and agony.
Had fun. This one is a must-have when the clearer version comes out on VCD/DVD.
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Sunday, 2 March 2003
Disgusting
WARNING this post contains terribly graphic descriptions of sick things. If you are a highly morale person then by all means... hit your back button. But... If you want to go on, knowing what you’re in for.... Read on...
There are steps that I take.... places I plant my arse... airspace I fill that just seems to border on the unbelievable.
Friday morning.
Woke up. Woke up into my life. The life.
The life. It holds me. It’s all around me, a constant, enclosing absorbing gel. And when I’m into the life, I look out through that blurred lens. Sometimes hey, I get my wee zones of freedom to retreat into, those delicate timeouts where things come to a halt, and I can smile n grin and laugh all I want.
And relax.
Like last Friday morning.
I’m tired, sien and Marfon the group leader is thriving on this. I’ve been busy and he’s told me to be here, not asked, mind you, told. “Important project meeting, you have to be here.” Or whatever.
He paces up and down in front of our group’s portfolio on the table. Lily and Onglai come in. We are all standing up. Marfon starts briefing and talking and talking. Qi Long is there in the library listening and taking down important points. Tall Qi Long the one who’s always skipping classes, Muahaha (humbug, yea baybehhh). Seems crowded today, the library. Boogaman peers down at our portfolio. It’s almost done. Just about to apply the finishing touches.
We all should sit down. Why’s everbody standing up on their legs when they can sit down on their arses hey? Stupid question. Haha, I won’t be able to see if I sit down. Marfon has already spread out all them work all over the long table. He picks up some and shows us some stuff. Marfon’s briefings are pretty good. He’s a good leader, always working at it. Then he grabs a chair and sits down on his arse, pissed off cause Tia hasn’t arrived yet.
Everbody’s moving around in the library. Students from other classes looking for books, other people meeting up. People all over the place. I had fish head curry last night and me bowels are feeling pretty nasty. Nasty and greasy hey. I fart silently but move steadily to the other side of the room. The technique is to let the fart ooze out a bit before you head off, or u just take it with you in yer jeans to the next port of call. It’s like football hey, you have to time your runs in the English Premier League. My very good friend, David Beckham, Man U professional footballer and Spice Girl-banger extraordinare, knows all about that.
Talking of timing, Tia arrives, with the group proposal photocopies. She’s passing them around as Marfon starts talking again. Boogaman is looking on with a screwed-up face. My fart-gas has wafted over to him. Result! He’s waving it away in a conspicuous way. He grimaces at Marfon and steps away from him to me. He thinks it’s Marfon! Muahahahhaha.
Marfon stands up and clears his throat:- Blah, blah, blah. He talks. Talk talk talk.
After the meeting, I laughed my arse off. Couldn’t help it. Then, I drove away in me BMW Z8. Muahahahah.
Alright, what I’ve written above is true except for the farting part and the BMW Z8. I may be many things, I’m a lil immature, a wee bit childish, a bit too quiet and say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but I definitely do not pass arse-gas in public (do believe me). Yes, I went to the meeting but there were no arse-gas incidents. My life’s boring at times, full of routines and I thought I’d spice it up (imaginary, literary spice). So now, I have a fart post. Whatever that’s left of my reputation as a decent person is being torn to bits here. Alright, I know..disgusting, I’m gonna go now. Muahahahahahha.
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I love:
The Empire Strikes Back, There's Something about Mary, Notting Hill, Crouching Tiger, Dances with Wolves, La Brassiere, Raiders of the Lost Ark
I like:
Glay, U2, Penny Dai, Goo Goo Dolls, Wang Li Hom, Creed
I dig:
Phua Chu Kang, Everybody Loves Raymond, Survivor, Winter Sonata, The Amazing Race
I support:
Leeds United FC
My online reading materials:
Leech
Graceshu
Strizzt
Jo
Lynn
Archives:
February 2003
I have a Jackie Chan nose
Tell Me What Ya think!
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