While chasing a stag, Arthur comes to a place in the forest where he is unable to pass, for looming in front of him is a giant knight named Sir Gromer Somer Joure. The huge fellow says:" Ah, Sir Arthur, I've had it in for you since you got that piece of land away from me. All right, now you're going to have to fight me. I'm going to kill you. Come on, fight me!"
Of course, I'm a knight, can't you tell?" "Well, no true knight ever fight unarmed men".
"Oh, shucks," says the giant. "All right. Then I'll offer you a challenge instead. A year from today, you have to find out the answer to a question."
"The question is, 'What do women really want?'" "If you don't have the answer a year from today, you have to fight me, and I'll surely kill you!"
Finally, Sir Gawain says that he has heard that in the forest of Inglewood there is a woman who sits by the well; She is wondrous wise but wondrous strange. He promised to seek her out in the day that remains.
Suddenly the shape turns around and there before him is the ugliest woman he has ever seen. She has little rat eyes, warts on a red face, steely wires for hair, one tusk of a tooth going up and another going down. She also drools. "My, aren't you a pretty fellow," she cackles. "Well, I know the answer to your question, but what will you do if I tell you?"
Dame Ragnell, for that is her name, hoots with pleasure. "Will you marry me then?"
The wedding proceeds on schedule with the ugly Dame Ragnell dressed magnificently in white and Sir Gawain in green and gold. The wedding feast is a typical medieval feast: tables abound with wildmeat and gamebirds and an endless flow of wine. Dame Ragnell is beside herself with gluttony. People throw up watching her eat. But no matter, she finishes everyone else's portion as well. "Now it's time for bed!" she announces merrily. Everyone at the table groans.
In bed, she asks Sir Gawain, "Well, aren't you going to do something?" "Like what, madam?" "Well. . . . you could give me a little kiss, maybe." With his eyes still closed, he leans over to give her a little peck. Then, girding up his courage, he reaches out a hand to touch her hair and then her face. But where there had been steely greasy wires, her hair is now soft and lovely to touch. And where there were warts, her skin turned velvety smooth.
Sir Gawain pulls back and opens his eyes to see the most beautiful woman he has ever beheld. He says, wh-where is she, where is Dame Ragnell?
The beautiful woman replied, "Oh my dear husband, I am Dame Ragnell. I have been ensorceled by my wicked stepmother and turned into a hideous hag until the best knight in England would marry me and kiss me. But my dear, I am afraid I am still half ensorceled, and you have a choice. I can be beautiful for you at night and ugly for all others during the day. Or I can
Sir Gawain thinks about the alternatives and finally said to her, "You choose!" Dame Ragnell throws her hands around him, saying "Ah, well, then, courteus knight, you have broken the spell by giving me sovereignty, so now I can be beautiful ALL THE TIME!!!
It is such a wonderful story that it has made the round in cyberspace. Friends have passed it on to other acquaintances by e-mail, while putting their two cents worth of opinion on what the moral of the story is about.
But going back to Dr. Houston, she has woven a wonderful interpretation of this myth which she uses regularly in her seminars on expanding the limits of human potential. In the book A Mythic Life, she tells us that this imaginative tale could help us find the answers for dealing with what prevents us from reaching our potential. She refers to our vulnerability, as personified by King Arthur and Sir Gawain, when we strive to look for the truth about ourselves. Usually, our quest in hampered by an immovable giant that stops us on our tracks. She suggests that the giant could take the form of a tradition, religion, or a shared belief that we grew up with and has never been challenged nor examined. Questions such as the meaning and purpose of our life, the source of happiness, draw from us the same intensity that prompted King Arthur and Sir Gawain to search far and wide for the elusive answer to the question, "What is it really that women want?"
But, as Dr. Houston says, we always fall back into the Dame Ragnell in each of us, our inner self that shows what we think is our worst personality trait. However, herein lies the challenge. We should be able to recognize the Dame Ragnell - the worst trait - in ourselves. The next stage is is that we should transform this trait into an asset, in the same way that the witch turned into a beautiful dame. Just like our previous story of The Bookseller, we should have the courage to turn an obstacle into an opportunity.
Dr. Houston cites several examples of imperfect personality traits that can be transformed into assets. A hypersensitive person can at the same time exhibit a high degree of empathy for others and sensitivity to people, culture and ideas. This in turn will open up a whole new career in care giving, in psychology, in diplomacy, or any other work for an expatriate. Those who name fear as their Dame Ragnell often have a very adventurous spirit (a budding anthropologist?). Those who are judgmental frequently have a high aesthetic sense (a future art critic? a newspaper columnist?). Those who cite jealousy often prove to be a great appreciator of others (a prospective guidance counselor?). We can go on giving other examples of great transformation of personalities. Or we can try to find within ourselves our own Dame Ragnell.
But to be more meaningful, our seach should lead to a transformation. That is why this homepage uses the symbol of a butterfly. The ugly caterpillar, or the witch in Dame Ragnell, should finally find a way to shed their ugliness through metamorphosis. It only takes a cheerful affirmation of the hidden goodness within us, and lots of courage to take the plunge.
Tsinoy