violence against women <BGSOUND src="//www.oocities.org/waho047/smoothoperator.mid"> luis teodoro cruz

FIGHT LIKE A MAN!

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Two men were overheard in line at a coffee shop establishment bragging at how much control they had over their wives. A third man was listening but remained quiet.

THE PRAYERFUL PARROTS

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After a while, the two men turned to the third and said, "Well, what about you? Does your wife know who`s boss in the family?" The third fellow smiled and said, "I`ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

JOHNNIE'S REQUEST

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The first two blokes were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said," Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!"

NAME: Tsinoy in Singapore E-MAIL: tsinoy999@hotmail.com

Source: Bernard Brunsting, The Ultimate Guide to Clean Humor

Background music "Smooth Operator" by Sade from the Jazz Midi Page Animations from the ClickArt Website Workshop, Harry and Dorret Goowin's Homepage, Animated GIF Finder, National Organization for Women and World Health Organization

Tsinoy laughs: She must be a relative of Xena, the Princess Warrior. Way to go, Princess!

We`ll not be talking about her kind, though. Our insight on this page will be about the first two blokes - or their attitude towards their wives.

According to the Secretary General of the World Health Organization, between 16%-52% of women suffer physical violence from their male partners in different parts of the world. Assault on women includes wife beating, maiming by acid, rape and physical and verbal harassment.

Quotes on Marriage Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. ~ Joseph Barth ~ Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he'll end up hating you. ~ Jill Bennett ~ Who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor with the Lord. ~ Bible ~ I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~ When a husband is embraced without affection, there must be some reason for it. ~ Hitopadesa ~ There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. ~ Homer ~ Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family --a domestic church. ~ John Paul II ~ I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. ~ Sam Kinison ~ You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. A successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ~ Jerry Mccant ~ Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God. ~ Cecil Myers ~ Only as far as a man is happily married to himself is he fit for married life and family life in general. ~ Novalis ~ Your marriage moves toward a state of isolation. Unless you lovingly and energetically nurture your marriage, you will begin to drift away from your mate. ~ Dennis Rainey ~ Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex! ~ Simone Signoret ~ If a man truly wants to communicate with his wife, he must enter her world of emotions. ~ Gary Smalley ~ A happy marriage perhaps represents the ideal of human relationship -- a setting in which each partner, while acknowledging the need of the other, feels free to be what he or she by nature is: a relationship in which instinct as well as intellect can find expression; in which giving and taking are equal; in which each accepts the other, and I confronts Thou. ~ Anthony Storr ~ The pretentiously - named ensuite bathroom is a major factor in divorce. Privacy is paramount in marriage. ~ Source Unknown ~

Battering can also take the form of a systematic campaign of emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, manipulation, intimidation and isolation, surrounded by a constant threat and/or use of physical violence to stop any attempt a woman makes to assert herself or act independently (Kathleen Carlin, Atlanta GA).

In parts of South Asia, the issue may be viewed within the cultural context of family honor and the traditional role of women in society. Other than that, I guess the question that should be asked is, why do men batter?

There are many common explanations. According to Bryan Nichols, battering is likely to occur if a man witnessed violence or was a target of violence as a child. It is also a manifestation of the man`s inability to recognize and express his feelings. The man may be unable to assertively express his needs and desires, as some men are poor in identifying and communicating their feelings.

Sometimes, a man is unable to express his anger constructively. But whatever it is, the batterer does have a choice to whom he would vent his anger. Why women? Perhaps, they are available as role models of non-violent behavior. Or they see women as the extension of their property. As such, they can use women to suit their needs. How? By gaining power and control over them.

Nichols says that this compulsion to control women stems from the belief - or gender prejudice - of some men that women are inferior to men. "With such perceptions, men believe it is necessary to control women.

They are willing to use violent and abusive choices to do so," he adds. How sad.

At the end of his article, Nichols advocates an end to sexism by acknowledging it, by recognizing gender equality, by taking responsibility for ending violence against women, and by treating women with more RESPECT. But all is not lost. As we enter the new millennium there is a new, growing movement that seeks to alter men`s view of relating to women.

Perhaps, it is the fruit of the systematic campaign to bring awareness on new relationships.

Gary Zukav, in his latest book Soul Stories, recalled a conversation that he had with his long-time friend Louie, a clergyman. Louie relates that most couples he marry these days do not want to use the traditional ceremony anymore. "They want to write their own vows," he said. "They tell each other what they are willing to commit to - how they agree to grow together. They take out the word `obey`. None of them like it," he said, then he laughed.

Zukav asks in his book what has changed through the years. He thinks that new males and new females have started to emerge. "They are the new couples that follow their hearts. They are not concerned with what others expect. They create lives that are responsible, conscious and are fulfilling. They talk about their fears, doubts, insecurities, obsessions, compulsions and addictions.

Then they start a healing process. But above all, the new male and new female are partners on a journey of spiritual growth. Their love and trust keep them together. Their intuition guides them. They consult with each other. They are friends. They laugh a lot. They are equals."

"Soul Stories" is such a stirring book that I come back to it time and again for reflection and guidance.

I recalled how - before we got married - my wife and I similarly underwent the process of discussing the shared values that we could adopt as guideposts during our married life. We strongly felt we had to go through it, because we both believe that love and respect for each other could only be sustained if we agree on common benchmarks that we could refer to time and again.

It has served us well during the last 25 years. I never beat her. But I sure do butter her with affection. No wonder she blooms like the red roses in springtime in the frontyard of our former home in London everytime I see her.

Cheers. Tsinoy