Japan: [ 01 ] Nakimushi Usagi no Karei Naru Henshin (Crybaby Usagi's Beautiful Trasformation)
America: [ 01 ] A Moon Star Is Born

New Characters
Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon), Ikuko Tsukino (Usagi's mother), Shingo Tsukino (Usagi's little brother), Naru Osaka, Gurio Umino, Haruna Sakurada (Usagi's Homeroom Teacher), Naru's mother, Luna, Mysterious black-haired male, Tuxedo Mask, Queen Beryl, Jadeite, Morga
New Abilities
"Moon Prism Power, Make-Up" (transformation), "Moon Tiara Action" (attack)
New Objects
Transformation Brooch

New Voice Actors
Kotono Mitsuishi, Toru Furuya, Keiko Han, Masaya Onosaka, Shino Kakinuma, Chiyoko Kawashima, Keiichi Nanba, Michiko Abe, Sanae Takabe
New Minor Actresses
Junko Shimakata, Chieko Nanba

Basic Synopsis
The first Episode! Usagi Tsukino, average 14-year-old-girl. Lazy and a crybaby, she also does poorly at school (which isn't helped when a stranger teases her test results). But today she is discovered by the mysterious talking black cat, Luna! Luna introduces herself and tells Usagi is sworn to protect the world from evil under the guise of the Pretty Suited Sailor Soldier, Sailor Moon! At first untrusting, Usagi is shocked when she transforms with the phrase "Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!". But there's no rest for the needed; she rushes to the aid of her best friend Naru Osaka, who is under attack by the monster Morga who had been posing as her mother. She is encouraged by the handsome but mysterious Tuxedo Mask, and at Luna's word, destroys Morga with her "Moon Tiara Action!" attack. The world is saved... but for how long?

Blow-by-Blow Synopsis

Episode, start!
Meet Usagi Tsukino. Fourteen years old, in her second grade of Junior Highschool. She's clumsy and cries easily, and is woken by her mother at 8:17.

Thanks a lot, mom! What the hell kind of mother lets their kid sleep in past 8 on a school day? She gives the lame-ass excuse that she tried earlier, and Usagi didn't wake up. I know that my mother would rather pour a jug of cold water over my head than let me sleep in past 8, even if I was under like a dead sloth. Usagi's mother is obviously trying to hide some sort of narcotics addiction.
Despite living in the Juuban district of Tokyo, a very expensive and crowded place to live, her family still owns a rather spacious two-storey house. Some people have all the luck.

After nearly forgetting her lunch (which would have her hyperactive by mid-morning) and skipping breakfast, she rushes outside to run to school. Her usual regime of complaining that school started too early and wishing she were still asleep is interrupted by a bunch of radical two-year-olds as they mutilate a cat.

Question Time:

• Where the hell are these kids' parents? They don't look old enough to be wiping their own asses, never mind roaming the streets of Tokyo on their own.
• What the hell kind of cat is that? Most cats won't let you administer tick medication without taking a limb. I doubt three toddlers would be able to render one immobile.

Your face.

It's bad luck to let a black cat wear bandages, so Usagi does the sensible thing and removes it. Because there's no way the cat's owner put them there to stop a seeping wound or something. Lo' and behold! Common sense prevails and rewards us with a crescent moon.

Is it wrong of me to think this cat has really pretty eyes?
After an intense staring match, Usagi realises she has somewhere more important to be than a carpark with an alley cat and rushes off again, earning a disappointed glare from the puss.

Usagi is late for school, despite all odds, and gets sent out into the hallway. After some non-feminist complaining about how a fragile girl like herself could be sent out to stand in the hallway, she checks to make sure the coast is clear before she dips into her lunchbox (she did skip breakfast, after all). Her homeroom/English teacher, Ms. Haruna Sakurada, arrives on time to reveal why Usagi's mother wasn't too fussed with waking her up in time for school.

I wish my highschool teachers had been that hot.
Also, 30%? It's an English test. You can learn enough English to get 40% just from walking down your average Tokyo street.

Usagi's hot red-headed friend Naru Osaka does not approve of her trying to eat her lunch early. Because she's a girl. And girls can't eat unless they're told to. Just ask Persephone, she'll give you the skinny.
Usagi says that she's a growing girl, though, and that Naru should understand. Naru seriously reconsiders her choice in acquaintances.

A squeaky hello heralds the entrance of everyone's favourite super-nerd, Gurio Umino. He asks how Usagi did on her test, despite the fact that she's doubled over in agony. Naru points out that she must have done horribly if she's acting like she is, which doesn't really make Usagi feel that much better. What wonderful chums Usagi hangs out with.

IT'S LIKE THE THREE STOOGES REINCARNATE.
If I get reincarnated, I want to come back as a hot teenage girl.
Especially if I'm reincarnated before I'm dead.

Gurio got 95% on his Test because he didn't really try. Naru tells him to STFU (and rightly so). Trying to distract a rapidly depressing Usagi, she changes the topic to Sailor V - a mysterious figure who caught the burglars from a recent jewellery heist. Usagi is suitably impressed until she asks what the heck a 'Sailor V' is.

Naru is bi-polar.

Umino is a nerd.

Sailor V is hot.

Umino kindly explains that Sailor V is a super-heroine in a school uniform of JUSTICE that has been causing an uproar (I'll say). He also says that there are rumours it's actually this big conspiracy, and she's really a secret operative for the Police department. I honestly believe that if female cops wore these kind of uniforms, there would be less crime. Or more crime, due to the greasy fanboys comitting them just to get arrested.
There's a wake-up call as to how old this glorious Anime is when Usagi talks about how it "really is the end of the Century".
:gonk:

Naru is also a kleptomaniac, saying that jewels are so beautiful, she can understand why somebody would want to steal them. Usagi agrees, saying she wants a diamond ring (Naru was ruby ear piercings).
And that's terrible.
Naru says that her mother is having a huge bargain sale on at her jewellery store.
Seems to me that if my mother ran a jewellery store, I wouldn't want to rob one. But that's just my opinion.
Naru's mother's store brags rings and stuff that even Usagi + Naru can afford, and they both vow to go over when school is finished.
Once again, Naru's mother being the owner of a jewellery store... why does she need to go nuts over cheap jewels? Even if her mother can't get her a discount, at the very least she can put it on a personal lay-by so that nobody else would buy it first.
Gosh, Naru's mom is a bitch.

Finally the villains show up, but not before an extensive shot of their creepy throne.

Can't sleep. Clown will eat me.
Although I doubt there'd be anyone who'd disrespect you after seeing how much horror you held in one chair.

Let's have a competition! Everybody, think up a name for her throne. Poor ol' bug-eyes needs a nickname.
Then we get to see what the villain looks like up-close. Judging by how big her seat is, she's probably the head-honcho.

She asks her court if they really still haven't found the 'Illusionary Silver Crystal' yet. "Yes", they chorus.

This is her orb. She likes it quite a bit, so you're going to be seeing a lot of it. Better get used to it.
The redhead speaks of a 'Great Ruler', and how she wants a vast amount of energy. If they can't find the afformentioned Silver Crystal, then they should give her the energy instead.
A giant ball of blue flames addresses her as 'Queen Beryl'.

The blue flames dissipate to reveal a handsome blond guy with blue eyes, because stereotypical caucasians are the epitome of evil.

He refers to himself as Jadeite and asks she entrust the mission of energy-collection to him, explaining that he already has a plan in progress with his monster ('youma') Morga. Beryl agrees. Although, what would he do if she'd said 'no'? Shift around awkwardly and figure out something for Morga to do with the energy she'd collected? He could probably find something fun to do if he thought about it for a bit.

Cut to Osa-P, a jewellery store stuffed full of women trying on rings, necklaces, bracelets; any kind of jewellery you can think of, all full of real gems. Everyone is revelling in how cheap they are.
Cue the entrance of Usagi + Naru, who point out that there sure are a lot of people in the store. A woman with same red hair and dialect as Naru wanders by with a megaphone, shouting at everybody that everything's on sale, and thanks them for their customer loyalty.

I wish my friends' moms were that hot.

BUT ALL IS NOT RIGHT WITH THIS NARU'S MOTHER.

Spooky closeup on her face, and she thinks about how humans are foolish creatures who should sacrifice all their energy to their great ruler. While she's thinking, girls wearing her jewellery pop up, and the gems in them start to glow and suck up energy waves. Jadeite gives her the finger in celebration.

Jadeite stands in a room of shadows, gathering the energy in a ball floating above his hand. It gets steadily bigger as the cursed jewels collect more and more energy. He agrees that humans are foolish, and tells her to collect even more energy, referring to her as 'Morga'.

SPOILER: NARU'S MOM IS A MONSTER

Maybe you shouldn't reveal your dastardly plans to an entire store full of potential victims, just in case your teenage daughter and her ADD friend are standing right behind you.

SHITS

Naru tells her she brought a friend, Usagi, who says hello. Naru's mom tells her that she can have an added discount because she's Naru's friend.
So, she can give a discount to Usagi's friend, but she can't give her own daughter a pair of earrings? What a bitch.
Inexplicably behind a counter, she offers a twin diamond-ring with a price tag of 500 000 Yen (about $4 800 US), but she says she'll lower it to 30 000 Yen (about $290 US). HULK SMASH ensues.

Look how plum happy Naru's mother is about all this.
Also, I will make sweet, sweet love to whoever drew the girl in the background in purple.

All the women in the store immediately gravitate to the counter to try and buy the ring first. Naru and Usagi are lucky to surivive (I hear three other girls got trampled to death). Usagi grumbles about wanting the ring for herself, but laments that her pop won't buy it for her since she failed the English test, and that she already used up her allowance for that month. ... how much money do you get given a month if you could afford to buy a $300 ring, if you hadn't spent it already? What the hell did you spend it all on?

Once outside she decides she hasn't complained enough and reflects on how she should've studied a bit harder (a bit harder than not at all?). Any lessons that may have been learnt are out the window when she scrunches up her test and tosses it over her shoulder.

Doink!

Her wayward paper hits a good-looking but average guy on the head, who continues to tell her that she should study harder. He also calls her 'Odango Atama', which means 'dumpling head', because of her hairstyle.
Interesting Note: Apparently there's no such thing as a 'dumpling' in America, so the DiC dub had him call her 'Meatball Head' because meatballs are so much more American than dumplings even though meatballs are Italian (dating back to Ancient Rome). Also interesting is that there is a kind of American spicy pork meatball called a Faggot. Related? No, not really. Not really at all.

In a rich West Country sauce indeed.
OR I'd pork a faggot.

Expressing her rebellion to Averagaman's opinion, she pulls down one of her eyelids and blows him a raspberry, which is more rude than just sticking your tongue out and less rude than giving the finger. Nonetheless, it's very cute.

Usagi grumbles about what a weird guy he is and what a nerve he had to comment on her test, and turns around to see if he's thinking about it. But all he's doing is expressing his physical dislike for jewellery stores, which doesn't help with the whole "What a weirdo" factor.

Putting Averagaman out of her mind, Usagi continues on down the street towards impending doom when she gets home with her test, which she had to take back after it maimed someone.
Another minor distraction along the way is the Sailor V game, advertised on the side of a game arcade. She focuses on the shot of Sailor V and remembers what she'd heard about her earlier.

Nice legs, babe.

Usagi ponders about how great it would be to be a superhero like Sailor V, since she wouldn't have to study and it would probably be 'refreshing' to get to beat up bad guys. Then she cries over her test score because she's totally the opposite of Sailor V. From behind a sign we see the black be-mooned cat from earlier in the Episode.

"Usagi Tsukino... I've finally found you."

Ad break. SE-RA-MUUN~! A chorus of boys shout out to get Sailor Moon's attention.

Usagi never misses an opportunity to flaunt her wealth and huge house at us. A wall plaque reveals that there are four people living in the house; Kenji, Ikuko, Usagi and Shingo.

Upon Usagi's arrival she is immediately cornered by her misguidingly calm mother, dangerously wielding a metal spatula. Despite Usagi's attempts to remain calm and poker-faced, Umino had already rained on her parade.

OH SNAP!

Faced with no other option, Usagi begrudingly hands over the test. After Ikuko (that's her mother, by the way) has a few seconds to let her daughter's abysmal score sink in, all hell breaks loose.

Seriously, don't mess with a Japanese mother with a narcotics addiction.
They're either evil and stealing your energy, or just... evil.

Ikuko kicks Usagi out, where we meet Shingo, Usagi's little brother who immediately kicks her ass. No, literally. Big ol' boot to the butt. He expresses his dislike at having such a dumb bigger sister, and wishes on a star for a better one. What a dick.

Usagi fights back with a 'Sailor V Kick'. You know those kids who get into serious trouble because they try and emulate the behaviour of their favourite video game heroes? Well, some kids don't even need to play the games or know what attacks they actually have to use those attacks. ... ?
Although, Usagi, maybe next time you want to kick your brother, don't announce that you're going to do it with a big wind-up when he's a second away from putting a door between the two of you.

Think it hurt? I think it hurt. Just a little.

Back at Osa-P, the store is still full of customers, despite it being noon by now (the same customers, in the case of Ms. HULK SMASH). By now the effects of Naru's mother's gems have started to show themselves, and a couple start to faint. Ms. HULK SMASH loses the energy to hold in her stomach and the pearls EXPLODE OFF OF HER.

Understandably worried and confused, Naru looks on as all her mother's customers faint, and asks what on earth is wrong. She gets no answer from her mother; she just laughs and says that she's gathered a lot of energy. When Naru tries to get her attention again, her head turns almost to face her from behind. This woman is obviously not Naru's mother.

This is not the mother you're looking for.

Back at the Tsukino house, Usagi's mother finally gets her hit calms down and lets her in. Usagi participates in her favourite pasttime of complaining, and whinges about how she was tired from crying so much. She reflects on how lucky she is that she can fall asleep so easily at these kind of times, and promptly does so.

I don't think a "Rape is iminent" joke is necessary when it's this obvious.

She is rudely awakened from her nap by the black cat from earlier.

The cat spoke! Of course, it spoke earlier when she said that she'd found Usagi earlier, but this is the first time anyone realises.
She introduces herself as Luna, and explains that she's been looking for her. That'd sure clear up any misconceptions I had. Luna goes on to thank Usagi for removing the bandaids earlier that those punk tykes had put on her earlier, because they were hampering her detection and speech abilities. But, it was a strange twist of fate, because thanks to that prank she was able to find her. Usagi promptly pretends to go back to sleep so she can wake up from this dream and a cat won't be talking at her.

This is exactly how I spent my childhood.

It's clear by now that Usagi is severely traumatised, so Luna takes advantage of her ADD tendencies and grabs her attention by backflipping and producing a pretty golden brooch. Because when I want to get the attention of a babbling, delusional teenage girl, I give her some jewellery. That way she's sure to pay attention to me and not the compact.

A lot of fans speculate as to where the hell Luna gets these things. The answer; the less you think about it, the less it hurts.

As to be expected, Usagi is immediately transfixed by the shiny thing and forgets all about the talking cat, promptly trying it on and striking poses in the mirror. Luna keeps on truckin' and explains that there is an evil presence in the city, a presence the police are powerless to stop. Usagi is the one who has to protect us from this evil! It is her duty to save the world, and to find the Princess with the four other Soldiers!
Usagi is taking this pretty well, considering her first thought is "Hey, just like Sailor V!". Obviously she thinks this is all still a dream. Hoping she could help it hit home, Luna tells Usagi to say 'Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!'. Humouring the black, back-sassin' cat, Usagi complies. Cue transformation sequence.

It wasn't really much of a transformation, though, considering the name of this Episode should've been "Crybaby Usagi Gets a Shorter Skirt" because her battle outfit is almost identical to her school uniform, only with red shoes.
And you know what they say about girls in red shoes, don't you?
They... should... wear a red dress or they'll clash.
That's exactly what they say.

I really shouldn't have dropped all that acid.

After freaking out at a magnitude appropriate for what the hell just happened, Usagi starts to pick up Naru (remember her?) in those red hair accessories she wears. Naru is understandably under a lot of duress, saying that "her mother is-", then cuts out. Because apparently Usagi's head is on a bad line.
After a quick pep talk from Luna, there's an arial shot of Tokyo (with a billboard saying 'MOON' in English) before we close in on the Osa-P Jewellery Store and Naru getting choked by a pair of unseen hands. She begs her mother to stop, who is leering at her whilst choking her, and growls that she isn't her real mother. Before poor Naru's eyes, she transforms into a horrible, leathery-skinned monster.

KIDS: SAY NO TO DRUGS!

The monster (whom we know to be Morga) says that Naru's real mother is in the basement and will join Naru in the afterlife. Before she can get too far, though, Sailor Moon interrupts her. Morga turns around to see who it is.

Hmm.

Morga asks WTH she is, and after a bit of fluffing about, Sailor Moon manages to pull an introduction speech out of her ass (which is a trend that continues on through the Series even when she's had the whole day to think about it).

Morga drops Naru and turns the rest of her body around, raising her arms and telling her servants to fight.

If Rosie O'Donnell launched herself at me like that, I'd have the exact same reaction.
HELLO BANDWAGON~

Usagi is attacked by a couple more customers, including a woman with a broken bottle. Where would you find a beer bottle in a jewellery store, might I ask? Naru's mom and Usagi's mom go to the same AA meetings.
Usagi decides she wants to wake up from the dream after she realises the pain she feels when she scratches her knee is real. Usagi seems to be in a pretty tight spot, so she does what she knows best and starts to cry.
Morga takes this opportunity to attack, her right arm extending towards the helpless Sailor Moon, who starts to scream. Suddenly-

ROSE!

Out of nowhere a rose sinks into the floor between Morga's hand and Sailor Moon, distracting the monster long enough for Usagi to survive. Standing on the windowsill of a really, really high-up window is a mysterious and handsome figure. He introduces himself as 'Tuxedo Mask' which, given what he's wearing, is kinda like Bruce Wayne fighting evil as 'Spandex Cowl'.

Unfortunately, his idea of saving the day is telling Sailor Moon that crying isn't going to solve anything. Thankyou, mother. Sailor Moon decides she can do better than to take the advice of a jilted groom and bawls her eyes out.
Fortunately this time it actually does something useful (and frankly, kinda cool), and her crying is amplified by the same hair accessories that picked up Naru's pleas for help. Morga + her zombies are paralysed by the horrible noise (no, really), and some of them start to pass out.

'Morga and her Zombies' would be a pretty cool band name.

Luna tells her to take off her tiara and throw it at Morga, shouting 'Moon Tiara Action' (in English) as she did so. After complaining about it, Usagi eventually goes into some stock footage.

Interesting Note: 'Moon Tiara Action' was changed to 'Moon Tiara Magic' in the DiC Dub. Seems even more strange to me than most of their changes, considering wouldn't the average American parent be more anal about 'magic' than 'action', considering how nuts some of them go over magic + witches?

Morga dies. Poor Morga. It's always kinda scared me a little how the MoTD always seem to be so human, and how they genuinely don't want to die when the Sailor Soldiers turn them to dust. But, considering they don't have any souls and letting them live would only bring around destruction, I guess it's for the best.

Sorry I killed your mom, Naru! We cool?

We see Jadeite still collecting the energy from the unconscious girls, then he's all "OMGWTF?" when it disappeared because Morga died. He comes to the conclusion it was because she failed and that she's an idiot for doing so. Feel the love!
Back at the battle scene, Morga turns to dust and drifts to the floor in a pile, which then disappears. Because Jadeite wants it back. For some reason. Tuxedo Mask tells her that she did well fighting, and that he'll remember this night before leaping off. Listen, Cape-boy; Sailor Moon just saved a store full of people, rescued her best friend, killed a horrible monster and it's only her first day on the job. You've been doing this for God knows how long and all you could do is throw a rose. I don't think you're in any position to be giving compliments to others.
Nonetheless, Usagi is still appropriately smitten with him, which you just know is going to be a plot point for about fifty more Episodes.

The next day at school, Naru is telling all her friends about the wonderful dream she had last night, where she and her mother were saved by a mysterious figure named Sailor Moon. Myself? If I dreamt that my mother turned into a horrible monster before my eyes and tried to kill me before a girl in a miniskirt appeared and destroyed her with a spinning disc from Dragon Ball Z, I wouldn't put it in the 'wonderul dream' category. Confusing, maybe, but generally I'd group it in the 'nightmare' category since you passed out before any of the good stuff happened.
That's just me, though. Naru obviously has a different opinion.
Even stranger, though, is that two or three of the girls had the exact same dream. I'm going to assume they meant "I had the same dream but I was one of the girls passed out", not the exact same dream as Naru, otherwise Sailor Moon had a really busy night saving young girls from their mothers. I also find the prospect of having a dream about one of your classmate's mothers turning into a monster and trying to kill said classmate a tad bit weird, but apparently it's not worth mentioning unless someone else brings it up first.
Naru tries to bring it up with Usagi, but she's way too tired and begs them to let her sleep a bit more after complaining that she's sleepy.
Episode End!