The Count Of Monte Cristo
It's what's been driving you nuts for years.
The Count Of Monte Cristo is the true story of one man (Vern Troyer) and his search for the ultimate truth. Raised in the quaint village of Phoenix, Arizona, the man known to his boyhood friends as "Tossmonkey" struggles throughout his adolescent years with the decision of whether to clamp it or weld it. The moment we find out what exactly "it" is is the film's plot twist, and occurs during the story's climax: the Super Bowl party. What could have been a cinematographer's wet dream or a director's finest hour becomes what can only be described as a "clusterfuck." Essentially, the scene contains too many guest stars (Alex Trebek, Catherine Zeta Jones) and not enough meatpies (Amanda Peet). As Tossmonkey tries to explain to his associates why they had all been summoned, we find ourselves wondering why we didn't go see Britney Spears' movie instead. Once we commit ourselves to witnessing this train wreck of a film, we follow the journey of Tossmonkey from his beginnings as a second rate flamingo dancer through his impeachment, cancellation, and eventual abolishment from Counthood. All nitpicking and nosepicking aside, The Count of Monte Cristo is a coming of age story that is best enjoyed with a box of Kleenex and a satchel of sugar coated fried sandwiches.
104 minutes Rated G for Grrr, Grrr. Swashbuckling, shoebreaking and partial nudity. |
