"This is nice." Angel's gaze took in the elegant decor of the restaurant before settling onto Cordelia sitting opposite him, the glow of the candles forming a halo of light around her form. "Elegant."
"Yeah it is." Cordelia hadn't been able to stop grinning since she had first set her eyes on the restaurant. It had fulfilled even the highest of her expectations for the night, maybe even surpassed them a little. Which was a feat in itself. Cordelia had an enormous appreciation for splendour, and this place definitely suited it.
"Angel, I had no idea you even knew about this place. But ... don't you have to book like, a year ahead or something? How did you manage to get us reservations on such short notice? Kill a few demons for the owner?"
"I have my sources." Angel smirked. His casual demeanour masked the enormous trouble he had undergone in order to pull the last minute reservations off, although there had been no demon killings as such. It just so happened that there had been several people who owed him enormous favours ... and there had been several people who owed those people huge favours, and people who owed those people who owed his people favours, and well ... Angel didn't want to think about how he had managed to pull it off for fear of inducing an elephant-sized migraine. He was just content to bask in the knowledge that he was here.
A maître'd sauntered towards their table and meticulously arranged their menus in front of them. "Would monsieur and mademoiselle require any refreshments for tonight?"
Angel quickly scanned the menu in front of him and replied, "Je voudrais la carte de vins s'il vous plait." The maître'd smiled graciously and withdrew.
Cordelia leaned forward. "My high school French is a little rusty, but ... did you just ask for twenty postcards?"
Angel frowned while a smile tugged at the edges of his mouth. "Ah ... no. I asked him for the wine list."
"Oh." Cordelia settled back onto the back of her chair and sipped on a glass of water. Was she back to sounding like high school May Queen Cordelia, instead of the new and improved, L.A vision gal Cordelia?
And how come Angel was suddenly so busy showing off his French? Just because he happened to be alive during the French Revolution and all, didn't mean he could come off all suave and sophisticated, did it?
The maître'd returned quickly with the wine list, and Angel set about perusing its content as Cordelia covertly surveyed him. He was kinda cute when he was concentrating ... Cordelia noticed how his brow kinda crinkled up in concentration when he read. Not that she had spent that much time studying her friend, no siree, not her.
After the maître'd had taken their order and delivered their wine he retreated from their table.
"So ..." She sipped at the glass of wine before settling it back onto the table. "Done any brooding lately?"
Angel instinctively leaned forward and mock sighed. "No. And besides, what would I be brooding about?"
"Oh I don't know." Cordelia involuntarily leaned forward as she cupped her face alluringly in her hand. "There was a lot of that before. You know, with the whole Darla brooding, and the brooding about Darla. And then ... some more brooding about Darla."
"Cordy." Angel stopped short, willing to once and for all put those unfortunate set of events behind them. After their return from Pylea he had gone to great trouble (and expense, he discreetly added) in resolving the whole Darla thing with Cordy. He had also gone to a lot of trouble repairing the damage caused to his friendships with Wesley and Gunn, but the chief of the effort had been directed at Cordy because ... well, she hadn't reacted very well to the whole thing. Specifically with the whole sleeping with Darla thing.
She had forgiven him quite quickly ... considering. Angel knew though why it had taken her only a few days to get over the hurt and pain caused by his revelation ... well, to get over it enough to start speaking to him again at least. It had been because of Buffy - the news of Buffy's death as they had just come back to the Hyperion. The news delivered so painfully by Willow.
He would never have gotten through that terrible time without Cordelia's stubborn perseverance and desire to help. She had wheedled and cajoled and ordered him out of his room after his second day of seclusion, forcefully proclaiming that Buffy would never have wanted him to waste away because of her. She would never have wanted him to sit back and grieve for her, because they had both known that their time would come ... eventually.
And the day that it came for Buffy, Angel realised that he could quite easily have joined her - if not for Cordelia. His best friend, and in a way, his saviour after that day. Even after learning that he had slept with Darla, she hadn't allowed her personal sense of betrayal and hurt to drive her away from him. She had swallowed all the pain and hurt he had caused her and had come back because - he could scarcely believe it - she still cared for him. It was a testament to Cordelia's strength of character that she had the integrity to do that, for him ... He who had caused her the pain in the first place. And even though Buffy was now alive and well, he would never forget it. Never forget that Cordelia was there for him when he had needed her the most.
"Cordy." His mind was dragged back to the present by her intense gaze. "I promise this is the last time I'll mention it but ..."
Cordelia cut him off impatiently. "You're not going to apologise for the Darla thing again."
"But Cordy --" She was about to interrupt him again but he brushed her off. "Please, just let me say it ... one more time. You have to know I didn't mean for you ... or Wesley or Gunn to get hurt during ... that. It was just ... I was just lost in all this rage and vengeance and ... I just wanted to win. I just wanted to feel."
"I know." Cordelia said quietly. No matter how big of a pyrotechnic display she had initially put on when she had first found out about Darla, she now understood deep down that Angel had not intended for her to get hurt in any way. And she also understood that the person Angel had hurt the most during that time was himself.
"I just ... " He continued, finding the words easier and easier to say. "I just want you to know that I'll never do that to you again."
"You better not broody boy." She smiled impishly at him. "Or else it'll take more than half of Rodeo Drive to make me like you again."
"Only half?" He bantered.
"More than half." She countered. "Like, three quarters."
"It'll be worth every cent." Angel found himself grinning back at Cordelia, and it felt good. Really great.
Her face fell. "Since it's time for the big confessionals ... It's my turn to tell you about my guilt trip."
Angel's face quickly became a mask of concern. "Cordy, what is it?"
She smiled slightly to reassure him, thinking it was kinda sweet for her formerly stoic friend to show his emotions so completely to her. "Oh no, it's no big. It's just that ... I've got to tell you Angel, I wasn't exactly guilt-free through your Darla crisis."
"What do you mean?" He said, puzzled. What did Cordelia have to feel guilty about?
"Well ... "Cordelia took a deep breath, about to voice something that had been nagging at her at the back of her mind for ... well, ages. More than ages. "It's just that ... you went all wiggy when Darla was re-vamped and we ... just left you. Alone. To do your vengeance thing." She took a gulp of wine from her glass and continued. "I mean, sure yeah you fired us and made us feel all David Caruso post-NYPD Blue, but we ... I shouldn't have just left you like that. I shouldn't have just left you, all alone, just because I was all hurt and stuff. I mean ... look how close you came to complete self-destruction." She said plaintively. "I mean, what if you'd turned back into evil leather-pants wearing Angel? I would've had to stake you ... well, evil Angel anyway. And that would've been bad ... and it would've been all my fault."
"Cordy." Angel couldn't believe what he was wearing. Couldn't believe that Cordelia of all people, could even be blaming herself for the way she had acted. Didn't she know that he considered himself the luckiest vampire in the world because she had been strong enough of a person to forgive him for the way he had acted?
"Is that really what you've been thinking? That ... you were even to blame for the way I acted to you ... to all of you?" Cordelia nodded mutely in response.
Angel sat back, momentarily stunned. Two thoughts were whirling simultaneously through his cluttered mind. How could Cordelia feel guilty about that? And ... what could he do to make it better?
They were silent as the waiter came to deliver their meals. Cordelia watched idly as the maître'd asked Angel whether he wanted pepper on his steak. She couldn't believe she had just given voice to what had been nagging at her for so long. It was good that she had finally found the courage to do so, but also a little scary. Scary because she didn't want to let on too much about just how important Angel was to her.
She sighed. Much as it hurt her to admit it, she had only ever considered herself as possibly the second most important person in his life. Buffy would always come first, and she accepted that. But it didn't make it any easier to live with.
"Cordy ..." She looked up to find his chocolate brown eyes gazing intently at her. "You ... of all people ... You shouldn't feel guilty about that." He paused as he searched for the right words. "Do you have any idea how lucky I think I am that you're even here, talking to me? That ... after all I've done to you ... hurt you ... " He could hardly squeeze the words out, "That you're still here with me? Cordelia ... " Angel's expressive orbs were shining with unrepressed emotion. "You're the most important person in the world to me."
There ... he had said it. Admitted it to himself and to her, out loud for the first time. It felt incredible, that he had said that one thing that he had been afraid to admit for so long, fearing himself, fearing the depth of his emotion for his best friend. His Cordelia.
Cordelia felt her heart lift, but resolved to remain realistic. Of course she was the most important person in the world to him now ... She had the visions after all. And he needed the visions to fight whatever the powers that be wanted him to fight. And that was good ... she was glad that she was his link to that. His link to goodness.
"I know." She said softly, careful to not betray her deeper emotions. "I'll be with you until you shanshu Angel. I'm vision gal after all ... so you'll always have someone to fight with." She smiled ruefully.
Angel detected the faint trace of insecurity in her voice and couldn't believe that even now, she still thought that he cared for her, loved her because of her visions. He couldn't care less about the visions. If Cordelia Chase was vision-free, he would still be glad for her intoxicating presence in his life. How could she not know that?
"Cordelia. I don't think you're getting me here." He said, his voice deceptively calm.
"Hmmm?"
"I meant ..." He swallowed. How many times did he need to tell her that she was the most important person in his life before she actually believed it? "I meant what I said. About you being ...ah, important. You're the most important person in my life ... and you'd be even without the visions." He stopped and caught her gaze before continuing. "Please tell me you know that. I mean it Cordy. There's never been anyone more important to me than you."
"Really?" Cordelia couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice. Really? Could it be true? Angel had said to her many times before how he had valued her friendship, but he hadn't ever gone as far as this. It would be ... too good to be true. Way too good to be true.
She sure as hell hoped it was true.
"Yes." Angel's intense gaze never left Cordelia's now amazed face. "Are you going to make me say it again? 'Cause, I can you know." He smiled.
Cordelia paused as she took a few moments to absorb and to bask in the feeling that she was as important to him as he was to her. Could it really be true?
One look at Angel's expressive features assured her that he certainly thought so. And somehow in the soft, muted atmosphere of her surroundings, with the wine and the food, she found herself believing him. Really and truly believing him, because Angel was her Angel and he was honest, straightforward, and at times, endearingly cute.
"Okay. Let's enough with the mutual guilt-fest." She paused as she bit lightly into her salmon. "How about we make a deal?"
"What deal?"
"First, we'll never mention the whole firing, you hurt my feelings thing again."
"Okay, deal."
"Second, I'll actually believe you when you say that I'm important to you."
Angel smiled. "And third?" She looked at him puzzled.
"There's always a third." Angel explained.
Cordelia grinned impishly. "Third ... You treat me to some double choc chip mint fudge ice-cream after dinner and we'll call it even, okay?"
Angel smiled, feeling for the first time in the last few months things were well and truly healed. "Okay."
"Cool." Cordelia happily delved into the lusciously arranged plate in front of her, unable to contain her happiness at finally sorting things out with Angel. This felt good ... it felt great.
She sneaked a glance at Angel in front of her, who was busy carving into his steak. "Angel?"
"Hmmm?" He looked up, concern momentarily shadowing his face. "Is there anything wrong?"
"No, just ..." She looked down at his steak, its rare juiciness oozing out and assaulting her senses. "Just ... did you ask for that extra rare 'cause of the blood?"
Angel looked slightly offended. "What? No. What do you take me for?"
Cordelia grinned girlishly at him. "A vampire who likes blood?"
Angel tried to hide the smile that was stealing over his face but to no avail. "Cordy, I'm trying to eat my steak here. Do you mind?"
"Nope." Cordelia threw him her specially patented Cordelia Chase smile, knowing that it would frustrate him. She held her smile until she saw that he was unable to resist doing the same, and they were back to smiling at each other like two high school kids.
This was fun, Angel thought. He decided that he could definitely get used to this. Spending time with Cordy ... laughing and smiling despite himself. Making her smile. Maybe it was time he reassessed his earlier decision about remaining just friends. After all, being happy couldn't hurt either of them ... could it?
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