I bet you are reading this letter after a long day or pimpin, cappin da player haters and showin these east coast biotchs what rap is. Right now you are probably enjoying a 40, just lighting up a blunt, and thinking of which ho to call for tonight. But there is something missing, someone to enjoy this great fun with. Mr. Dogg, I would like to be a member of your posse. I mean who wouldn't want to drink 40's with me? I even made up a name for my self, Jarizzle. Don't you think that name is the shiznat? I sure as hell do. But why you Snoop Dogg, I mean I could ask Dr. Dre, P. Diddy, or Uncle Cracker. But you Snoop Dogg, you are the best at your game. By having me in your posse would make you cooler. Gin and Juice, that's a classic. Your new joint, Pay tha Cost to be Da Bo$$, is off da hook. It would be fun! Just think, Snoop Dogg and Jarrizle, pimpin da Long Beach baby! I hope you consider me to be a part of your posse and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jared Stene
"Jarizzle"
It has been a while since you got my first letter. Why haven't you writen back yet? Are you trippin dogg? I show notthing but love to the west coast, and this is the type of respect I get? All I want is a holla back from my man Snoop. But no you got to go and disrespect. I am the perfect cracker to roll with your posse. I'm nothing but 40's, blunts and bitches over here in Oakdale, Minnesota. I'm your Snowman of da North yo. Remember your phrase "C-walkin' it's not just a dance it's a way of livin"? Well I've been doing nothing but c-walking for the past 17 years. I think it's time I ought to roll with the big timers, which is you Snoop. So don't front with me and holla back at me yo! Keep it real homes.
Your #1 Cracker,
$ Jarizzle $
AKA Jared "Jarizzle" Stene
