> .> .> >
> > > Zen-type thoughts for the day
> > > >
> > > >> I couldn't pass up the opportunity to pass these along.
> > > >> Enjoy!
> > > >>
> > > >> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
> > > >> ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
> > > >> either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
> > > >>
> > > >> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken
fan
> > > >> belt and a leaky tire.
> > > >>
> > > >> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
> > > >> steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do
it.
> > > >>
> > > >> 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
> > > >> getting any.
> > > >>
> > > >> 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
> > > >> can't be promoted.
> > > >>
> > > >> 6. No one is listening until you fart.
> > > >>
> > > >> 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone
else.
> > > >>
> > > >> 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> > > >>
> > > >> 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing
a
> > > >> couple of car payments.
> > > >>
> > > >> 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile
in
> > > >> their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a
> mile
> > > >> away and you have their shoes.
> > > >>
> > > >> 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
> you.
> > > >>
> > > >> 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him
> > > >> how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all
> > > >> day.
> > > >>
> > > >> 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
> again,
> > > >> it was probably worth it.
> > > >>
> > > >> 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
> > > >> anything.
> > > >>
> > > >> 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
> > > >> windshield.
> > > >>
> > > >> 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
> > > >>
> > > >> 17. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot
of
> > > >> that comes from bad judgement.
> > > >>
> > > >> 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
in
> > > >> half and put it back in your pocket.
> > > >>
> > > >> 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> > > >>
> > > >> 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and
a
> > > >> dark side, and it holds the universe together.
> > > >>
> > > >> 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
> > > >> one works.
> > > >>
> > > >> 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your
> > > >> lips are moving.
> > > >>
> > > >> 23. Experience is something you don't get until just
after
> > > >> you need it.
> > > >>
> > > >> 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> > > >>
> > > >> 25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on
> > > >> our ass... then things get worse.
> > > >>
> > > >> 26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill
> and
> > > >> a laxative on the same night.
> > > >>
> > > >> 27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental
> > > >> illness."
> > > >>
> > > >> 28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to
> take
> > > >> it too seriously.
> > > >>
> > > >> 29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other
> > > >> people to make a big deal about your birthday...around
age
> > > >> 11.
> > > >>
> > > >> 30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
> > > >>
> > > >> THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT
> > > >> LAUGHED