g-MAN'S nIGHT O' HELL

sOMETIME IN THE 80'S, g-MAN (PICTURED HERE) TURNED INTO A PSYCHOTIC MADMAN.  iT ALL BEGAN AS A NORMAL NIGHT IN THE EMPIRE NIGHTCLUB IN mIDDLESBROUGH.  wE WERE UP TO OUR USUAL TRICKS, cHATTING UP SCHOOLIES, rIPPING jACKIE AND LAUGHING AT kEEGAN'S MASSIVE BALLS WHEN g-MAN TURNED SOUR.  afTER CONSUMING ALMOST TWELVE PINTS AND 15 VODKA CHASERS THE USUALLY QUIET AND RESERVED GENT TURNED INTO A SLOBBERING LUNATIC.  jUST AFTER THIS PICTURE ON THE RIGHT WAS TAKEN, g-MAN TURNED INTO A LUNATIC, THROWING HIS gLASS DOWN IN FRONT OF A BOUNCER AND STORMING OFF TO THE TOILET TO COLLECT HIS SCATTERED THOUGHTS.  g-MAN HAD BECOME ENRAGED AT THE SHITNESS OF THE NIGHTCLUB AND DECIDED TO VENT HIS ANGER PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY USING TELEKINETHESIS.  i FOUND g-MAN IN THE BOGS, WHERE OUR STORY CONTINUES.....

tHEN, AS IF BY MAGIC, g-MAN EMERGED FROM THE TOILETS A NEW MAN.  tHROWING THE SMIRNOFF ICE BOTTLE AT THE TOILET DOOR HAD CALMED g-MAN AND HE RE-EMERGED TO GET DOWN ON IT WITH THE LIKES OF gEOFF wILKINSON.  tHE PARTY CONTINUED AS NICO AND kEEGAN SPAN AWAY ON THE DANCE FLOOR.  g-MAN PUT THE INCIDENT DOWN TO BEING A PRANK THAT WENT WRONG.  hE VOWED NEVER TO ATTEMPT SUCH A MANOEUVER AGAIN.  fOR HIM, THE NIGHT WAS JUST BEGINNING.  aFTER TWELVE MORE PINTS, HE FOUND HIMSELF FACE DOWN IN A TRANSEXUAL'S CROTCH AS bLACK mEN IN WHITE GLOVES RUBBED APRICOT JUICE INTO HIS SWOLLEN SCROTUM.