TAYLOR: "Jess...god.." I groaned and rocked her as she cried. "Jess?" I called her name softly when her sobs quieted, but her body still shook. She took a deep breath but didn't answer. "Jess talk to me.." "Tay..." she began slowly, and looked up at me in the darkenss, her eyes glowing with moonlight and tears, "It was because of Alex that I am competing now.." I looked at her, stroked her hair off her face and moved to lean my back against the tree. I pulled her so she was sitting between my legs, her back against my chest, then I wrapped my arms around her and crossed my feet in front of hers. "Why Jess?" I asked and then waited. "The day my mom left me with Gram..Alex and my mom were fighting..I don't remember why..who knows with those two. But when he couldn't reach my mom, he grabbed me. He shook me as hard as he could and said all kinds of horrible things about how I'd turn out like her, things no six year old should even know the meaning of..and I have no idea what happened to her. I remember looking for her, to help me get out of his grip...he almost broke my arms...both of them.." her voice lowered and shook as she tried to finish her story. I held her tighter and waited, my face buried in the back of her neck, as I struggled to choke back my own tears. "He twisted one of my arms behind me and kept shaking me, until I thought I was going to be sick, or my neck was going to break, yelling about how horrible she was, I was and I couldn't see her, Tay. She left me with him like that.." Her breathing was labored as she remembered the day she tried to push out of her mind all of her life, her body shook harder, with both anger and fear. |
Her knees were drawn tightly against her, her arms rested on her thighs and she kept her face buried in them. "I don't remember how I got away from him...I think I bit him, hard..." she continued, "He dropped me, and I hit my back on the table before I could get up. But when I did I ran...as fast as I could... I called for my mom but she never came...I went down in the basement and hid from him...behind a bunch of stuff my mom had piled up. I found and old blanket and curled up as small as I could and pulled it over my head, but I don't think he saw where I went..he was too busy screaming names at me beacuse I hurt him..I thought I heard him down there once, but I'm not sure..I was so little..anyway, I fell asleep down there. When I woke up, my mom was shaking me and telling me to hurry up....she had already thrown everythig I owned in the car... and she rushed me out there and took me to Gram. And I haven't seen her since..either one of them. Until today, when he thinks I have something he wants.." she let out a deep breath and shook violently, as if she was cold and couldn't get warm. I wiped my eyes and pulled her closer, rocking her, wanting desperately to comfort her and make her feel safe, like herself again and not the terrified little girl she used to be. "Anyway.." she said after a long silence. "Once I was with Gram for a while, in school on a regular basis...they sent home a flyer for karate..I begged Gram to let me take the classes, I even did a paper route to pay for them myself..but I took them..and any other self-defense class I could since then. I swore I'd never let anyone be in a position to hurt me like that again..ever. That was the worst time, but not the only..and I swore it'd be the last. And after the classes I decided that working out was a good way to keep my temper under control and de-stress when Gram started getting sick, then I met Eric at the gym..he's the one that sort of talked me into trying competition..." she sighed again and rubbed her face, wiping tears away. |
TAYLOR: "I used to wonder, when I was little, what would have happened to me if my mother hadn't come back that day. If maybe he would have come back down there and found me, would he have beaten me again? Or maybe he really would have killed me..I dunno. I guess I should be glad that she finally did, but she is just as guilty as he is. Jacob can love her if he wants, she didn't leave him with some psychotic...." she paused, unable to find a suitably derrogatory word for him, I couldn't find one either. "But I won't, never again. She never even said she was sorry for what he did to me..and she left me there...she left me there.." her voice trailed off again and I hugged her as tightly to me as I could, not knowing what I could say. "Jessie..." I choked, "I'm so sorry baby...so sorry..." I stroked her hair and rocked her some more as she cried all over again. "So am I.." A voice came through the woods behind us. Jessie stiffened immediately and I squeezed her tight. "It's only Jake, baby. It's alright.." I murmured in her ear. I looked up at him as he came forward. His face was like stone and his eyes glistened and were as red-rimmed as mine probably were. Our gazes met in an unspoken vow not to let anyone ever hurt her like that again as long as we both lived. he came around and knelt down in front of Jess and put his hands on her knees. |
"Jess. You should have told me...I'm so sorry sis. I had no idea...I would have done something if I had known, I would have...it's not fair. How can one person live two completely different lives? God Jess..." he stopped, suddenly and I saw him swallow hard. "Jake, you are not that much older than me. There wouldn't have been anything you could have done..god he was an evil, mean... he probably would have tried to beat the life out of you too.." she said, keeping her head down. "Maybe. But there sure as hell is something I can do about it now. Don't worry, Jess. he won't get a dime that was hers, or YOURS..and don't start about not wanting anything that's hers either. She owes you alot more than her money and I hope she's rolling over in her grave at this scene. I love you, Jessie. You are my sister and I will keep that son-of-a- bitch as far away from you as you want him to be. I'll be hard pressed not to snap his fucking neck when I see him as it is." he snapped angrily. Jess raised her hands to cover his, without looking at either of us. "Jake. Just make him go away. I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I don't want to think about it...just make him go away." she said softly. "We will baby.." "We will Jess.." Jake and I said at the same time. I uncrossed my feet and let Jake in to pull his sister into his arms. "It'll be alright, Jess. I'll take care of it. You won't have to worry about him again, ever." he told her, hugging her fiercely. "I have to get back to the gym, Jess. But I'll see you first thing in the morning, okay?" she nodded, sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Kay. Jakey, be careful. He's evil..." she whispered. "I can handle him, Jess. Don't worry." he said and stood to leave. "I love you, too Jakey." she said softly. He looked down at her and stroked her head once. "I know. See you in the morning, Jess." "Nite Jake..." she said softly, still not looking up. Jake and I looked at each other, at a loss. "Nite, bro. Call if you guys need anything.." "Nite Jake. Thanks." I said as he gripped my shoulder. He disappeared slowly into the darkness and I curled myself around my shivering wife once again. "Jessie, you're shaking. Let's go inside, you're cold." I said softly. She shook her head violently. "I'm not cold. I don't wanna go in yet, Tay. I don't want the kids to be upset.." she said. |