JESSIE: When the server finally brought out our food, the smell of it made my stomach rumble loudly and my mouth water. Taylor gave me a crooked sideways grin, as he popped a french fry in his mouth. "Don't even...my lunch was unexpectedly delayed..and you know we could set a clock by my tummy." I complained and then dug in. "As long as you're eating.." he shrugged and we turned back to the conversation going on at the table. I could have sworn I was a lot hungrier than my stomach was letting on, though. After I'd finished about one-third of my meal, it started rebelling against me. I took smaller bites, and chewed more slowly, trying to get even another quarter of what was on my plate into my body. If I heard one more lecture from Jake, Dr. West, or even Tay, I was going to scream and pull all my hair out by the roots. I WAS eating, and I WAS hungry. I HATED feeling so out of control of my body, that had always been the one thing that I could keep stable and the power that I felt, like when I was competeing, getting it to move the way I wanted it to, lift the things that most men couldn't lift, and move with the speed I knew I possessed was like nothing else. And I was slowly losing that, not the stamina or strength, but the control. And to have Taylor, Jake and the Dr. constantly on my case, like I COULD control it, did not help matters in the least. In fact, it only served to frustrate and stress me out even more. As I took one more bite, and forced myself to chew and swallow it, I felt a familiar pair of crystal blue eyes on me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowed what was in my mouth, took a huge gulp of water and then looked up at him. He continued only to stare at me, while my stomach rumbled in protest, not urgency. I felt my face get hot, though I was sure I was transparent with the wave of nausea that was slowly washing over me. "Jess? Are you okay?" Taylor whispered and leaned closer to me. I nodded quickly and gulped down some more water, knowing that would fill my stomach without upsetting it. "No you're not. Don't lie to me, Jessie. You can't hde anything from me anyway.." he whispered angrily. "I am NOT lying to you Taylor. I ate too quickly or something. Just give me a few minutes to let it settle.." I said through gritted teeth, then closed my eyes when my head swam again. "YES. You ARE..dammit Jess.." Taylor growled and grabbed me by the arm. "Let's go outside...maybe.." "MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO GET UP JUST YET..." I said angrily, my teeth still gritted to keep my stomach in check. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and covered my face in my hands, trying to control my breathing and make my rebellious body behave. "Jess...fresh air...it alaways helps..come on baby...you HAVE to..." he was starting the lecture and my blood began to boil. What the hell was he thinking? He KNEW I had a hard enough time dealing with this and yet he wasn't listening. "IF I get UP, TAYLOR.." I said angrily, "I will BARF..." I closed my eyes against the nausea before I continued. "D'you GET it? Or would you like me to puke all over your shoes right....fucking...HERE.." I barked in a low growl, trying to keep this argument out of the public eye, away from my wonderful father in law, and out of the FREAKING tabloids for a change. "Jess! NOW!" he barked back, slipped his hands under my armpits and lifted me out of the chair. "DAAAAMMIITT TAY!! STOP!!" I finally yelled, his motions making my stomach turn and my head spin. I heard, rather than saw my chair tip over as he hauled me like a rag doll out of the dining room and out the door, though I tried hard to struggle free without getting sick all over him. He finally set me down on the sidewalk out front and leaned me back against the wall. |
TAYLOR: "Jess..damn it..stop fighting me..I just wanna TALK to you.." I grunted as she tried to struggle out of my grasp. I tried to be careful and not drop her, and secretly I was glad she was too sick to her stomach to fight any harder, I don't think I could have held her if she'd been able to use all her strength. "Tay.." she groaned, "You're making it WORSE." She folded her arms tightly across her chest and stared at the ground, her chest heaving with either the effort to catch her breath, or fight the nausea, maybe both. "Jess...why are you getting sick? You said you'd been over that for.." I started to ask, and was taken aback by the anger in her eyes when she finally looked at me. "IF I KNEW.." she took a deep breath, "I would TELL you." she said, pushing the lock of hair out of her face and wiping the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. "Jessie, come on...you know I wouldn't push it.." I started again, and stopped mid-sentence. "YES." her eyes widened and her face and neck flushed, "YOU WOULD." she stated firmly. "YOU and JACOB are about on my last nerve, Tay. I know what my body can do, all right?" She leaned up against the wall and let her head drop back, closing her eyes. "That fucking store was unbearably hot.." she continued, and I listened in shocked silence. I had never ever heard her say I was on her nerves before, or Jake, for that matter. She wiped her face with her hands again, then pulled her sweat jacket off, folding it over her arm. "...and then the people kept crowding into the store...and I had TOLD Dave just five minutes before that, that I needed to get changed so I could EAT. OKAY? He was trying to clear a path for me and some woman was blocking my way, right then the heat and closeness of all those bodies was too much for me to handle. DAVE WAS right there..I felt him grab me just as I passed out. I came to in the car and he told me to sleep, so I did." she sighed heavily and looked at her feet. I could only wait in silence until she was finished. I didn't want to upset her any more than she obviously already was, she needed to keep that food in her stomach. "SO...lunch was DELAYED..and I was too hungry to handle all that food. If you'd have just let me sit there a minute and let my stomach settle.." she let out another exasperated sigh. "Like this isn't frustrating enough already.." she leaned her head back against the wall, folded her arms over her chest and closed her eyes again. "Jess...as many times as I've seen you totally lose every drop of color in your face, almost faint, listened to you hurl your guts out, and then had to sit in a fucking police station while you were being taken to the hospital..remember the BRUISES, Jess?" I said and began to shake, both angry that she was being so stubborn, and scaring the hell out of myself as I basically re-lived seeing that psychotic asshole almost choke her to death. I grabbed her by the shoulders and MADE her look at me. "DO YOU?" I roared, unable to handle the defiant stare she was giving me. "Yes.." she choked and her eyes filled, shining brightly with tears she was determined to hold back. "I have NOT felt my baby move yet, and I would NOT be able to go on if anything happened to either one of you, Jessie. So don't stand there and glare at me when my only thoughts are of what the hell I would do, if you were suddenly GONE." I snapped angrily. "Tay..." she started, then closed her mouth quickly as a tear slipped down her cheek. "What?" I prompted, still angry. "Nothing...." she said quietly. "I want to sit down." I looked around and spotted a bench a few steps away, then grabbed her elbow and walked her to the bench, waiting until she sat before moving to stand in front of her. |