"Jake! That's a wonderful idea! If anyone can make it work it's you." I said.
"I'd need your help to start, sis." he said.
"Are you kidding me. I'm there for you, you KNOW that." I told him.
"Good. Because if you won't let me help you out or take the half of the money that's yours, YOU NEED A JOB. Even if you have sponsorship for contests, you have to eat. And you're not an old married lady yet.."
"Even if I was, I wouldn't expect Taylor to pick up the tab for stuff I can't get sponsorship for. But take your time, I just won enough money to last me a while. I need to apartment hunt." I said.
"Taylor would give you anything you wanted on a silver platter and you know it Jess." he grinned. "But I already had this conversation with him, so don't get you britches in a knot. You can stay with me as long as you want."
"I love you Jakey, but you do not need me cramping your style." I joked. "What are you gonna do with me when Abbey's in town? You guys looked more serious than you made it sound the other night, Jake."
He sighed. "I really do want to be with her, Jessie. But she travels and we're moving.."
"So?" I said. "Taylor and I knew it would be difficult to start.."
"Yeah, Jess. And six weeks later you are engaged." he said. "Don't get me wrong, you guys belong together, but you two are more different than anyone I've ever met. It's like you found the other parts of yourselves that you were missing. It's not that simple for the rest of us. We have to work for what comes so easily to you and Taylor."
I looked at him, dumbfounded.
"I...damn...Jake..." I didn't have any idea what to say to him.
He moved to put his arm around me, and gave me a light squeeze. "You and I have it too, but it's different...you're my sister..." he said.
"But you and Taylor constantly amaze me."
I just sat there unable to speak. Jacob had just said out loud every single feeling I'd ever felt when I was with Tay, but could not explain. Even to Taylor. I just knew I loved him and that I didn't ever want to face this world without him by my side.
"My heart rips in half for you every time he leaves, Jess. If you could see the pain in both of your faces.." he sighed. "Even if it's only for a few days."
"God, Jake..." I said and stopped, choking back tears.
"I'm sorry, Jess. I didn't mean to start you up again. I just wanted you to know that I KNOW." he said and pulled my head down to rest on his shoulder. "I'll worry about Abbey and me, okay?" he said.
"Okay, Jakey. But I think you should try.." I said softly.
"I hear you, Jess. Now try to sleep okay?"
I closed my eyes but could not sleep. Everthing that Jake had said to me was racing through my brain. He was right. Taylor was my missing self. Him leaving, for no matter how long, was like taking a part of my soul away. I felt empty without him.
There was nothing I hated worse than saying goodbye to Jess. I knew we'd only be apart for a couple of days, but they would be like an eternity. It had gotten so that I never slept fully unless she was next to me. Even though I called her a few times a day, I ached to hear her voice, see her smile, feel her touch me. Thank goodness I didn't have to worry about her being alone. I knew it was just as hard for her, though she tried to put a brave face on for my benefit. Jake would keep her busy and safe from that slimy man. I swore if I ever got hold of him I would rip him apart. Seeing him grab her like that made me want to take something big and heavy and drop it on his fucking head. She was quick though, and to watch her knock him to his knees was extremely gratifying. I sighed to myself. Watching her face as Jake took her from me ripped my heart out of my chest. I wanted to go to her and hold her and bring her with me. But she would be in Tulsa
soon. I couldn't wait. She was my other half, the part of myself that I couldn't live without. I knew I couldn't face this world without her by my side anymore. I leaned back in my seat, trying to will sleep to come, but it wouldn't.
"Tay?" Zac sat down next to me. I opened one eye and looked at him.
"I'm not asleep Zac, although I've been trying." I said.
"Hey man, are you alright? I've been watching you squirm in that chair for at least a half an hour.."
"Yeah, I am.." I told him. "I just can't sleep."
"You never had trouble sleeping on a flight before..and now all of a sudden you don't sleep when we're at home, either. Unless you've been with Jess all weekend. That's what it is, huh?" he asked.
"I guess so. I hate seeing her like that when I have to leave. I just wanted to grab her and bring her with us." I said.
"Tay, she's awesome. She is amazing. I know that you two are different than most. Sometimes it creeps me out, you guys are so weird like that." he said.
I turned slightly in my seat to look at him, "Weird, Zac?" I grinned.
"Well, hell! I don't know how else to say it.." he began, "It's like you guys are one person, and watcing you separate from each other for even a couple of days is painful for ME, Mr. Insensitive." he grinned.
"We all see it Tay, and we love her. She is DEFINATELY your BETTER half.." he joked. "So marry her soon, please,and save us the agony of watching tearful, heartwrenching goodbyes at the airport." he said.
"Poor Lacey's heart can't take much more and my pockets don't hold enough tissue for the rivers she cries for Jess."
I looked at my brothers, stunned. "Damn..." was all I could say.
Zac laughed then, "Quit acting like we just told you something you don't already know. Hurry up and marry her."
I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes, trying to sleep again, but I couldn't. I kept seeing Jessie's face behind my closed eyelids. She was smiling, brushing my hair back off my face with her small, soft hands. Reaching for me in her sleep. She was so beautiful when she slept. Her soft brown hair, streaked with gold, would fan out behind her, like silk, especially now that she was letting it get long. Her cheeks would flush and she'd smile slightly and lick her lips as she reached for me, usually throwing her arm across my chest and gripping my waist with her fingers, as if she was trying to hold me closer to keep me from slipping away. I would do everything in my power to make her know that I would never, ever leave her side or even take one look at another woman as long as I lived. She was my reason for living. I turned roughly over in my chair and sighed. I ached to hold her already. Two days couldn't go by more quickly or more slowly.
"It's only a couple of days,Tay." I heard Zac say as he gripped my shoulder.