| "Jamie...Jamie..." John sighed heavily and gave her a light shake. "JAME. Open your eyes and look at me." he said, his tone a mixture of anger and defeat. Jamie opened her eyes slowly, stumbling slightly as the earth rocked beneath her feet again. She recognized John's face when her vision finally focused and she immediately buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry, John." she said softly and bent to pick her jacket up off the pavement. She hurriedly struggled into it as John stared at her in amazement. He'd never once heard her apologize for anything in the time he'd known her. Jamie wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand as she turned to get on her bike, doing everything she could to avoid Johnny's gaze. John stood gaping as he realized Jamie was in tears, another thing he'd never seen before. "Holy shit..." he breathed and grabbed Jamie by the arm, before she could jump on her bike and bolt. Jamie bent her head, still avoiding his gaze and raised her other hand in protest, keeping her back to him. "Just don't okay?" she choked out and yanked her other arm out of his grasp. "NO, JAME," he said forcefully, "it's not okay. What are you trying to do to yourself? You love him, Jamie. Why don't you just admit it, before you screw that up too? What are you gonna do when your Dad is gone, Jame? And you're alone 'cause you pushed the only man more foolish than me away?" HUH? You're not that stupid, and I've never known you to be afraid of anything in your life." He finished. "Johnny Rzeznik what in the hell makes you think you know me so well? You don't know shit." she muttered and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand again. "Don't I ?" he laughed sarcastically. "I've been in his shoes, Jamie. If I wasn't absolutely positive that YOU were in love with HIM, I'd have taken advantage of your um...condition...oh I dunno...an HOUR ago. I'd have ignored the fact that you called me TAYLOR," he said, "and dragged your ass back to the hotel with me, just like the good ol days, Jame. When you needed someone to bring you back, and let your feet hit the ground again. And stupid me, I was willing to let it go on like that, indefinately, 'cause I didn't think you knew how to love. And now, you dumb girl, you HAVE it, staring you in the face and you RUN? Are you insane?" he asked, not expecting an answer. "You must be, Jameson, 'cause he loves you more than I thought he did." he continued, not waiting for her to answer, watching her shoulders shake as he said the words out loud, ones she'd been squashing out of her head for weeks. "I can't even dislike the guy, Jamie. I don't think I would come looking for you, knowing what you are like when you are trashed.." he let his voice trail off as she turned to look at him. He smiled and nodded in the direction of Taylor's car, turning into the parking lot. John leaned down and kissed her again, softly, the saltiness of her tears stinging his lips. "I have missed you Jamie. And I DO want you guys to tour with us. And I DO want you to give the guy a break. He's so in love with you he can't see straight, and you are just as in love with him. Admit it, Jamie. Your life didn't end when Jimmy's did. He was my friend, but when it came to you, he was an ass." Jamie stared at John for a long moment, tears flowing freely down her cheeks now. She opened her mouth to speak, but had no idea what she should say. She was still drunk, she was still confused and still churning all of John's words in her clouded brain. She quickly shut her mouth and folded her arms over her chest. Both looked in the direction of Taylor's car as he stepped out and slammed the door shut. Jamie groaned under her breath, ran both her hands through her hair, then wiped her cheeks again. "I can't do this now..." she whispered to herself and gave herself a rough mental shake. "You can , too, dumbass." John muttered under his breath and gave her a light shove toward Taylor, who was walking toward them, his face set in stone. |