Communication is a continuous, transactional process, involving participants who have different but overlapping logic bubbles and create a relationship by simultaneously sending and receiving signals, many of which are distorted by external, physiological and psychological noise. Communication is a skill that can be developed by training and practice. Smart definitions aside, the most important thing in a conversation is agreement and empathy (experiencing the other’s feelings as your own).
Agreement forms the basis of rewarding conversation, not disagreement. Being negative is a form of aggression. In parallel thinking you do not seek to prove the other person wrong, but you lay your view alongside hers. Maybe both are right. Elaboration of the alternatives makes the conversation interesting, without the risk of arousing hard feelings.
How to initiate a confident conversation? Simply walk up to a person that interests you and let her know you observed them and thought …they resemble a famous person …they work out or are in good shape… and so on. Ask for advice; most people will love to teach and educate you! If the person doesn’t seem interested, just change the subject. If it still doesn’t work, just leave. After all, you don’t expect everybody to like you.
Say thanks, and say why you're thanking, to show you really meant it (‘thanks for your skill’ to an electrician; ‘thanks for your advice’ to a friend).
