Wednesday,September 8, 2004

So, call me random, but I think this is a really pretty song...yes, it's country bitches.............and yes........i'm still gay...you were all second-guessing! Theres a melody in my head
And I ain't stopped hummin it
Since I saw your face
There's a feelin' I cant forget
It started with you kissin' me that way
And there's no end in sight


Like an Oklahoma wheatfield blowin'
You got my heart in motion, gone
I'm the pinks and your the reds,
Just like this sunset, we belong
There's no end in sight

How high is the sky?
How long is time?
With you is how I'm spendin' mine
Like there is no end in sight
I wanna laugh,
I wanna live,
and I'm gonna love you like there is
Like there is no end in sight

So kick your shoes off stay awhile
There's nothing here but stars for miles and me
We're standin' on the edge of something
Not afraid of jumping in... deep
And there's no end in sight

How high is the sky?
How long is time?
With you is how im spendin' mine
Like there is no end in sight
I wanna laugh,
I wanna live,
and I'm gonna love you like there is
Like there is no end in sight
I'm gonna love you
Like there is no end in sight
I'm gonna love you
Like there's no end in sight
(I wanna laugh,
I wanna live,
I'm gonna love you
Like there is
Like there is no end
Is no end
Is no end in sight)

There's a melody in my head
And I ain't stopped hummin' it
Since I saw your face



Tuesday, September 7 2004

Rules: Write 10 statements intended for 10 different people. NEVER TELL which one is for who. In no specific order of importance:

1) You put up walls, and let people you don't think don't care about them because you're afraid to rely on someone. Deep down you're a good person, don't let his mistakes affect your life anymore.

2) I come of like I don't care about you, but the truth is I love you, and I know how blessed I am to have you...and, I don't know what I would do without you.

3) You changed my life...You always need someone to rely on, and someone to blame...maybe one day you'll realize that you're a great person by yourself,and you won't be afraid to own all of your flaws, and better traits.

4) I love you more than I ever thought possible, and I'm so proud of you. We get each other through hard times, and share the best of times together. You accept me as I am, and love me for all of my flaws. It's scary how close we are.I know if it's meant to be, it will be...I'll keep my fingers crossed.

5) You don't have to be so strong all of the time, I'm so glad to have you, and I couldn't ask for someone more caring. You're always there for me,even when you don't have to be,and I love you.

6) Sometimes I'm shocked by how alike we are...don't over-analyze things, and look at the big pictures...make sure not to leave anyone out. You will be famous one day.

7) I haven't seen you trully open yourself up to anyone yet. I'm here for you, don't be afraid to ask...

8) You don't have to be who everyone wants you to be. I won't pretend you aren't amazing. Live for yourself....

9) Don't lead people on so they will like you. If you feel something, say it, and don't regret it.

10) I see the way you hurt, and I know how it feels. You can't always get out of a situation, but you can always make it better. You can' always rely on others for stability...learn to trust yourself, and keep yourself from making decisions you will regret.



Saturday, August 7 2004

I think I might be depressed...not that anyone's listening



Thursday, July 29 2004

"I'll be your Northern Star
When everythings dark
I will shine for you

Just keep your eyes on me
Never lose sight of me and this love
Nothing can come between
Us when we're following
This love..."

So blog...I continue to fall deeper in love with him as the summer drags slowly to a close. He's seen me at my best, and helped me through my worst. I can completely be myself around him, and he loves me for it. No one has ever understood me like he does, and no one has ever made me feel so perfect. I use to think I knew what love was, but the truth is I've never known until now. It's like being that much closer to heaven whenever your with that person, and you just know that you were sent to each other. I feel blessed to be given such an amazing gift, and to know that I have someone to rely on no matter how hard things get. Last summer I saw something in him that i couldn't quite figure out, but I suppose a part of me new that there was the potential to have something amazing with him. And despite all of the emotional turmoil we've endured together, and through all of the pain I wouldn't change a thing, because in the end I came out with the best-friend I could ever hope for, and the one person who completely understands me, and loves me for who I am. And, I thank God that I have found LOVE ACTUALLY :-D!!



Saturday, July 10 2004

Why, hello bloggy! It's been so long since I've spilled the contents of my befuddled heart out to you, unforunately I am happy right now, so I have nothing deep to say...So SURVEY TIME!
1.do you shave? Of course
2.what do you shave? Face, stomach, chest, where the sun does not shine...
3.why? So I don't look like a sasquatch
4.what colour is your razor? Orange
5.what size is your bed? Queen
6.do you like it? Sure
7.you're going on a date for a walk around the lake then a coffee at a cafe. what do you wear FROM your closet? Hmmm...that sounds like it would be really romantic in the fall, so I'd wear a cute Abercrombie sweater, with a jean-jacket over it, and a nice pair of jeans... :-)
8.Would you go naked in a bathtub with a naked old man/woman with each of you having a bar of soap and soap each other till the bars of soap run out for a million dollars? Sure would
9.if you woke up one morning and found out you were going to stay in the body you have now for the rest of your life, what would you think? Thank Jesus, I won't have to kill myself before I'm 40
10. letter or e-mail? a letter is more romantic, but an e-mail is convenient
11.of world war III broke out, what would you say? I'm gay, don't draft me
12.buttons or boxes? ummm...I don't get it
13.which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most? Matt, Katie, Shaun, Hailey, Ashley
14.what's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you off? straight-legged jeans
15. what's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you on? Worn-in jeans, and a vintage t
16. what do you think of soulmates? They're real
17.florida or cali? California
18.is the world screwed? It would be fooish to believe the world is completely invulnerable
19.is cussing a neccesity in life? Not a necessity, but hey, we all need to vent sometimes
20.what's an object you can't live without? Cologne
21.can you live without the microwave? Yeah, I never use it
22.You have this uh, erotic dream about your friend of the opp. sex. how do you act and feel around that friend the next day? I tell them, because it's so odd, and hilarious
23.would you rather be rich with 15 spoiled brats or just barely making it with a dog? Rich
24. how's your schoolwork for you right now? Honor roll
25.what's something someone's done to make you hold a grudge against them? Lying to me is the one thing that is hard for me to forgive, or attempting to manipulate me
26.Favorite weather- October weather, I love the smell, the air, the atmosphere...everything, either that, or summer thunderstorms
27.what's one look trait that attracts you to a guy/girl? He has to have nice teeth, and an overall cute face
28.what's one personality trait that attracts you to a guy/girl? Their capicity of understanding
29.do you know what 143 means? I love you
30.who's phone number are you hoping to get? Rachel McAdams's
31.describe melancholy, if you don't know, then skip this question. Melancholy is sort of down, and bleek...sad
32.describe mellow- Ligh
33.do you beleive in ghosts? why or why not? Yes, because my house is living proof
34.what time did you sleep last night? 2:30ish
35.which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now? Matt
36.is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf? No...
37.would you rather be married in venice, italy, or honolulu, hawaii? Hawaii
38.would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life? Pasta
39.(guys) how would you feel if you gave a girl a flower? I wouldn't, unless she's a good friend, or we're going to a dance...i'm gay
(girls/gays) how would you feel if you got a flower from a guy? Flattered
40.do you want to drop school? Absolutely not
41.what do you think of the word, "no pain, no gain" ? Look at Paris Hilton
42.what do you think of the quote "eyes are the passageways into the soul" ? It has truth to it
43.What do you think of sleep? A waste of time
44.if you had the chance to slow down your growth now and live to 500 years but it's like a 50 year old body by then, would you go for it? No way in hell
45.at one point in a girl/guy friendship will one them them like each other even if it's only for a little bit. true or false? Not if one of them is gay
46.Are you a procrastinator? I'll answer this later
47.waffles or pancakes? Waffles
48.how's your cereal in your bowl? Ummm...fine
49.what's an annoying trait about you? I take forever to get ready
50.football or rugby? Rugby
51. hat or visor? Visor
52.ice skating or rollerblading? Rollerblading
53.(guys) your gf has long beautiful hair which you love, she comes to school the next day with a short crop cut. what do you HONESTLY think? Ummm...I'm gay, I don't care for the vag, but I would tell her she looks skanakalicious
(girls) your bf has hair you love. he comes to school the next day with a shiny head. what do you HONESTLY think? If he doesn't have cancer he's getting the boot
54.pizza or burgers? pizza
55.what colour is your jacket? Jean-jacket
56.what's something you ALWAYS have on you? Rainbow bracelet
57.what do you think of guys with nailpolishes? It's so Carson Daily
58.do you stay in bed thinking or do you fall alseep in 5 seconds? Thinking
59.would you rather go to a boarding school, private school, or an all girls or guys school? Boarding school
60.there's a high school that'll be on a cruise ship and you have the opportunity to go. it's your last year at school. do you go for it? Totally
61. who do you want to take with you to the prom? My boyfriend
62. your bf/gf gets drunk at a party. in their state of drunkness, they babble about that one time they fooled around with someone else while you were together. they wake up the next morning with a slight memory that did something stupid. what do you do? Dump his sorry ass
63.is cyber sex considered cheating? Yes
64.how do you react to change? Famously
65.are you happy? Yes
66.favorite berries- Halley Berry
67.what's one facial feature you'd like to change about yourself? Absolutely nothing
68.do you take a shower after a bath? I don't take baths
69.what's colour's your towel? Green
70.what do you think of knuckle cracking? Sick
71.what was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? Family problems
72.chalk or crayons? Crayons
73.how's you happiness level right now? 0 (low)- 10 (high) 9
74. coffee, tea, or me? ;) Frappacinno
75.wouldn't you just love to hug someone right now? No
76.who was the last person who complimented you? Matt
77.what's wrong with your school? We have mock school shootings
78.do you know what an aphrodisiac is? Something that makes you randy
79.who do you wish you could kiss? Myself
80.movies at home on in a theater? theater
81.wanna live in a castle? I want to get married in a Scottish castle
82.isn't gondola a cool word? It had been said that 'cellar-door' is the most beautiful word in the English language
83.what coat do you wear in the winter? Twead
84.(girls)what's something about guys you don't get? Fuckity fuck
85.(guys) what's something about girls you don't get? F U
86.who was better in rush hour/rush hour 2? Chinky McNasty Chan
87.it someone said you were hot, what would you think? I know, people tell me constantly
88. you go to your bf/gf's house for the first time and in his/her room, and everywhere is... you. what do you think? Yes, I'm so happy to have a stalker boyfriend
89.what happens when you hear the word christmas? I cringe
90.does being a psycho sound appealing? No
91.what food brings back good memories? HOOTERS hot-wings
92.do you talk to yourself? No, I'm not scary
93.sun or moon? Moon
94.what's your opinion on love? It conquers all when it's true
95.what's a happy memory of a time you've spent with the opp. sex? Shopping
96.would you rather go ballroom dancing or square dancing? Ballroom
97.do you think you can afford to lose weight? Yes
98.if you could dye your hair any colour, what would you dye it? None
99.what's the nicest thing any one has ever told you? There have been so many nice things I can't pick
100.how was the survey? Alright
time finished: It took a day, fucky



Sunday, March 14 2004

...Isn't it strange how a person can think they want something so much, and be so sure of things, then all of the sudden everything changes... "Tell me, tell me what you really want from me
You've got to let me know
I'm falling off and I need you terribly
One down and one to go..."



Sunday, February 9, 2004

Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla Hey there kiddos! HOPA! I'm so elated today, though I don't quite know why(maybe it's because i'm manic-depressive)but, none of that matters does it?! Well, lil' vag-mongres, I've added bunches of spectacular new splendiforous things, check them out...BRRR....it's cold in here, there must be some chochas in the atmosphere!!! Well kiddos, quoting bring it on can only mean one thing...A SURVEY!!!!

THE USUAL

FULL NAME: No no kiddos, that can lead to stalking, zack will do just fine :-D

DOB: August 10, 1988!!! LEOS ARE FABTASTIC

EYE COLOR: Green

HAIR COLOR: Blonde

AGE: 15

WHERE YOU WHERE BORN: Kettering

INNY/ OUTY, LEFTY/RIGHTY: INNY, AND RIGHTY!!!

SHORT/LONG HAIR: Short

SKIN COLOR: Caucasian on the outside, but i'm really a brother inside!

FAV. WAY OF DRESS: So stylistic, but the scary kids at school call me a prep

MAKE-UP OR NONE: Make up on guys is a no-no, unless on-stage ;-)

GRADE: 10

MOM'S NAME: No

DAD'S NAME: No

BROTHERS/ SISTERS NAMES AND AGES: Skeezy, creepy stalkers

FAV. COLOR: Green

EVER

CUSSED? Fuck no, HAHA...

SKIPPID SCHOOL? Nopa

HIT SOMEONE FORCEFULLY? Yep

BEEN ON A SUBWAY? Yessir

CHEATED ON A TEST? Duh??? I mean, Mrs. Mitchell can't expect us to answer those questions on our own

SEEN "ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK" (THAT USED TO BE ON NICK) OH MY GOD, THAT SHOW USE TO BE MY FAV!!!

TAUGHT A LITTLE KID A CUSS WORD? Of course not...that would be irresponsible

THROWN ANYTHING AT A MOVING CAR? SNOWBALL

SMASHED SOMEONES HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN? No :-(

EGGED SOMEONES HOUSE? YES, the creepy lady that killed my cat...

ROLLED SOMEONES HOUSE? huh?

GOTTEN A COMPUTER VIRUS? Nope

HOW DID YOU GET RID OF IT? Vagisil, i mean, what???

BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT? YEp

LAUGHTED SO HARD YOU CRYED? Uh-huh

HUGGED SOMEONE? OF COURSE

KISSED SOMEONE? YEP

MISSED SOMEONG? I miss someone every day of my life....

FAILED A TEST? oh yes

FLUNKED A GRADE? nope

MADE AN F ON YOUR REPORT CARD? Yep

BOUGHT SOMETHING YOU THOUGHT WAS REALLY UGLY B/C SOMEONE THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE OR LOOKED GOOD ON YOU? Yessa

LIED ABOUT WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEONES HAIR-CUT OR NEW ITEM OF CLOTHING? Totally

HIT AN ANIMAL IN THE ROAD? WHAT WAS IT? No, I don't drive yet

BEEN ALTERNATIVE? IN 8th grade I pretended to be a skater, does that count???

OFFICE? ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES SINCE YOU STARTED SCHOOL? 5 or 6

FAVORITE/ LEAST FAVORITE CAR? My fav. is a Jaguar, and my least favorite are Camaros because they are trashy

WHO DO YOU SIT WITH AT LUNCH? My fabulous, popular friends!!!

DO YOU THINK JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS HOT OR NOT? Sometimes, but sometimes not

WHO GAVE YOU A VALENTINE CARD THIS YEAR? No one yet, but I'm sure I'll recieve some :-D

FAVORITE SHOES YOU OWN? My Birkenstock-wannabe shoes

WHAT INSTRUMENT DO YOU PLAY? OR WISH YOU DID? I use to play guitar

ARE YOU THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WHOULD SCREAM "NO, I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU" IN A QUIET PLACE? DONE IT BEFORE

WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU DYE YOUR HAIR? I would get blonde highlights

WHAT SENT BODY SPRAY DO YOU USE? Armani, Aqua Di Gio, or Kenneth Cole

FAVORITE COOKIE? M&M chocolate chips ones! MMMM

DO YOU GET INTO MUSIC? HOW? Yes, by singing obnoxiously loud

DO YOU CUSS IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS? SOmetimes, but nothing too harsh

DESCRIBE YOUR ROOM? Many people say it reminds them of a gay bar ;-D

WHAT DO YOU WEAR WHEN YOU "DRESS UP"? Anything that looks sophisticated, and flattering on me

FAVORITE GUYS COLOGN? Armani

WHO ARE YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS? WHY? Hailey, Cat, and Kimmy--Because Hailey is just like my sister, and she's always there for me no matter what....and Cat and Kimmy are gorgeous, so when we go out together everyone turns there head, and it's fun!!! How popular are we??? LOTS

HOW MANY POSTERS DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR WALL? WHAT ARE THEY OF? 4, 2 abercrombie ones, 1 Breakfast club one, and 1 Chicago one

SOME INSIDE JOKES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS? 'I want to suck og your cack...", 'SOUL SLOSHING!', 'Believe me, it's the last thing I want to do...', 'Fly my monkeys, FLY!!!!', 'My little bastard son, and his whore...', 'My dildo shorted out, because everyone since I started taking the male hormones my clit has gotten much bigger...', 'We's about to make some grilled cheese, cooked with in iron, in prison we comes ups with somes good inventions...', 'And i said...cherry, i love you', 'BUCK!', 'Faggot-ass', '...and then i said, "Joey, I'll love you forever", and he said..."...What?",'Who dat is? That just my baby daddy', 'I DUDDITZ!", 'Mmm...hot out of the oven", 'Ana please diiie", 'Fumble in the dark', "Let's play Queer Eye for the Straight Girl!", 'Gay is the new black', "You ugly wannabe fag-hag!", "Hi, it's Hilary Duff, and you've just won the Lizzie McGuire Sweepstakes!!!', "It's like choreographed chainsaw dancing..."

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU COULD HAVE THAT SOMEONE ELES HAS? A pony

FAVORITE TV SHOWS? Real World, Road Rules, Real World-Road Rules Challenge, Will and Grace, Sex and the City, Friends

HOW MANY PICTURES DO YOU HAVE POSTED IN YOUR ROOM? Too many to count

WHO DO YOU LOOK LIKE? Some people, like eliza dushcu, say i look like Devin Sawa

WHAT SPORTS TEAM ARE YOU ON? MUSE MACHINE

ABOUT WHAT TIME DO YOU GO TO BED ON SCHOOL NIGHTS? WEEKENDS? It fluctuates

IN WHAT CLASS DO YOU HAVE THE MOST HOT GIRLS/ GUYS IN? Career Development

WHO ARE THE RUDEST PEOPLE YOU KNOW? FOOTBALL PLAYERS, even though I must get along with them because of my friends :-(

RANDOM STUFF

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU STUB YOUR TOE? Son-of-a-mother-monkey

DO YOU STILL GO TRICK OR TREATING? TOTALLY

DO YOUR EYES CHANGE COLORS? Yes, from green, to gray, to blue

DO YOU BELIVE WE LANDED ON THE MOON? Nope, NASA really stands for, "National Amusements Staged Attractions"

SPIT OUT A LYRIC FOR ME AND TELL ME WHO SINGS IT AND WHAT SONG IT IS? "Hey you, you're way ahead of me, you choke on apathy, you're fallin' right out..."-HOLE

NAME SOMEONE WHO ANNOYS YOU THE MOST, WHY? Ray Zupp, and any other really fake people

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT? Whatever I feel necessary at the time

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU GET HOME? Kick my shoes off

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING NOW? A hoody, and pajama pants...give me a break kids, it's sunday, i can't look better than brad pitt all 7 days of the week

WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKET? Nothing

WHAT TIME IS IT? 6:49p.m.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE NEW? I can automatically tell if i will like them or not

A NAME THAT PEOPLE CALL YOU THAT TICKS YOU OFF? Straight

WHO HAS THE SAME B-DAY AS YOU? My family-friend Beth

HAVE ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS/PEOPLE YOU KNOW HAD A BABY WHILE THEY WERE TEENAGES? No!!! But, that would be so funny and white-trashy!!!

EVER DONE POT? Nope

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW LIKE THIS? A lot

AROUND HOW MANY CD'S DO YOU OWN? Too many

ABOUT HOW MANY PIECES OF CLOTHING DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR CLOSET THAT YOU ACTUALLY WEAR? I have way too many

WHAT SONG IS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? 'Honey honey'-Mama Mia

DO YOU SMOKE? Nope

WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU DRANK BEER/WINE/SHOTS/POPPERS WELL YOU GET THE IDEA? Ummm...New Years Eve

FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT ABOUT GUYS HELLO, OR GAY GUYS

PUNK OR PREP? Prep

SPORTY OF COMPUTER DUDE? Sporty

HAIRY OR SMOOTH? Smooth

WHAT RELIGION? Christian, that's all

HAIR COLOR? Any

TEETH COLOR? Blanco, please

EYES? Brown

CAR OR TRUCK? CAR

COLOR OR CAR/TRUCK? Black

SPORT HE'D PLAY? Soccer, tennis, rugby--HOT HOT HOT

BOXERS OR BRIEFS? Either

TAN OR FAIR? They can both work as long as you aren't too tan, or Ray Zupp pale

FRECKLES OR NONE? None

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE THIS? about a half-hour

WHAT TIME IS IT? 6:54





Saturday, January 17, 2004

Hey everyone, first entry on my new site...it's been a really long time. Honestly, I'm probably not going to be writing very much in this thing, but I'll try my best. My songs and poems will be frequently updated though, so you should come check those out...well, yesterday I had an amazing time with the love of my life who I miss desperately already, and I sucked really bad at karaoke, but whatever, what can you do? Tonight, it's a pimptastic MUSE party where we all go see BIG FISH, oh joy, I can't wait...tomorrow-yet another party, good times, well little paginas this is my schedule, and this has been Zack, a.k.a. Trashy McGee...Signing off
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