| Monthly Rant @#$%&*! |
| November 2000 |
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| Surprise, Surprise! |
| Hey kids! It's Saturday Morning! You know what that means "CARTOONS!!!" *Jess Puts on wire-rimmed glasses and mortarboard cap before pulling down projection screen and taking up pointer* Now we as Otaku... heck even we as people outside the television industry know, by definition, what a "cartoon" is. My point today is to discuss the difference between a cartoon and an anime feature. The basic principle is this: 1. Cartoons usually suck. 2. Anime features are intended to be artforms and, damnit... they live up to that. Corralary: a. Ok, not ALL cartoons suck... b. Yes, it is possible to warp anime into a cartoon! Which is exactly what my rant will exploit. May I call upon your short-term memory and have you painfully extract the bitter-sweet experience that was Escaflowne on "Fox Kids"? How cool was it to find out that American TV had finally decided to get over that whole WWII thing (and that damn "Turning Japanese" 80's pop hit) and realize that Japan has some cool stuff over there? Better yet... how cool did you feel being the only person who could; a) pronounce it. and b) know what it was! Otaku LIVE for moments like that! We were excited yet in the back of our minds our silent prayer was heard "Please, in the name of all that is decent, don't botch this one beyond recognition!" It seemed almost... (get a load of this word) audacious... to consider that Escaflowne, that shining, glowing tribute to the paradox of Shojo-Mech, could be tampered with. ..................Riiiiiiight!.................. I say this now, and without shame; I really tried to give Escaflowne a chance! Sheesh, I even have the first 5 weeks of this thing on tape. (although now I am unsure of what means of disposal I should use for this tape... wouldn't want to contaminate the world any further!) They took something that was so great, (I mean even if you didn't like it, you kinda did) and made it into a CARTOON!!!! No sex, no violence, no mushy stuff, no cool soundtrack, no first episode (huh?) and basically no resembelence to Escaflowne at all. I understand that some things simply have to be edited due to suggestive or violent content, but there was really no need for 90% of the editing in Escaflowne other than trying to Americanize it! And now... surprise, surprise, "Fox Kids" has pulled the plug on Escaflowne before it even reached the halfway point in it's 26 episode slated season. They're replacing it with (and I wish I were lying) Nascar Racer. I guess they decided that "if something crappy has to be on the air, at least let it be based in mid-west America!" Oh how I weep for TV! The cause for Fox's cancellation was no doubt the ratings. No one ever expected this thing to do too well... but that didn't stop us from hoping! So what is in the future for anime? Well, another huge flop it seems! Fox has bought the rights to "The Slayers" I give it about 14 minutes into the first episode before some right-wing Christians start lighting up the switchboards. An anime based in witchcraft dotted with breast jokes and the endearing trade of "black magick". Well, at least they tried! I'm glad to see anime on TV. we just need to stop editing it down into "cartoons". The two extreme outcomes will be 1. Badly dubbed, watered down, cartoonized anime is more rampant than the pestilence of bubonic plague and you have to buy your fansubs from trench-coated men named "Cid". 2. That all-anime cable channel finally exists, PBS shows subtitled anime during their pledge drives, anime is cheaper and a hell of a lot easier to find. You don't have to go hunt down the one "arthouse" theatre to watch anime on the big screen. Conventions are held all over the states and... well anime is just THERE! well, neither of those two are very likely, but let's just hope we see a lot more anime and the cartoons stop multiplying so fast! |
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