Brittany Harrison, Madonna Bacchanale
Shortly after her birth, Miss Harrison began spitting out seemingly random words and phrases that made little sense until a strange man from a middle eastern country arrived at her door after her second birthday and proclaimed her the fulfillment of a prophecy. He then dedicated his life to writing down every word she said; however, due to an unfortunate paralysis of the tongue resulting from a ptomaine poisoning incident in a restaurant near her Florida home, Miss Harrison can speak only ten syllables every two weeks. Despite being differently abled in this regard, Miss Harrison's chronicler had gathered enough words and phrases by the time of her nineteenth birthday to publish them in a small volume, which has so far enjoyed immense acclaim in private circles.
Kristi Henderson, Vice President for Foreign Affairs
Miss Henderson was born in a small cottage in Cornwall in the late nineteenth century. Since achieving immortality in the form of her sixteen year old self, Miss Henderson has traveled the world in pursuit of her life's goal: the capture of the Loch Ness Monster, which devoured her young sister before her eyes during a family vacation in 1910. A memoir of her life and accomplishments was published in 1945; however, a freak fire in the building which housed all copies of the first edition, and the suspicious death of her publisher from ptomaine poisoning a month later, the book was never re-released.
Cue-ball, Sergeant at Arms
Cue-ball was born John Arthur Vincent Spielding, heir to a large pencil-factory fortune, in 1962. He came into his inheritance at the age of 25, when both his parents succumbed to a case of ptomaine poisoning. Possessed of a lively curiosity and independent means, young John Arthur courted women up and down the eastern seaboard, until his conversation to Scientology in 1989. At conclusion of one year spent in silence and contemplation, Mr Spielding changed his name, donated his fortune to various philanthropic causes in New York and Chicago, and lived entirely from the proceeds of his only book, Zen and the Art of Tying Your Shoes. He now devotes his time and energy to the lecture circuit.
Kyle Burkett, Chronicler of the Guilde
Mr Burkett was born of a virgin in 1977 and spent the first 18 years of his life caring for injured animals small enough to fit in his pockets. Afterwards he took degrees from a variety of universities and for a time devoted himself to the study of medicine, achieving fame for his research into the effects of ptomaine poisoning on the development of the Kentucky Bluegrass plant. He currently resides in the laundry room of a local apartment building, where he writes detective fiction stories for underground magazines.
Dr Brian Railsback, the Oracle
Of Dr Brian Railsback's early life, very little is known, save that he is wanted for questioning by a number of police departments in California regarding the ptomaine-related deaths of the heads of math departments at no less than five state universities. Dr Railsback's tenure as chief of the Jackson County Police Department has been shadowed by suspicions as to flagrant and copious use of John Steinbeck novels in the rehabilitation of violent offenders, allegedly driving one prisoner to suicide. His first novel, The True Confessions of Anthony Trollope, Anarchist, has resided at the head of the New York Times best seller list since 1934.
Other Luminaries
Kate Traylor
Ms. Traylor is believed to have died in the early 19th century, most likely somewhere in the capacious confines of her ancestral home in southeastern Europe. Her body was never found. Rumors of her demise spread quickly throughout the land, and soon a profitable tourism industry had arisen from the rush of treasure-hunters interested in the valuable Ethiopian manuscript she was carrying at the time of her disappearance. Satisfied by her homeland's newfound prosperity, her shade departed Europe for the Americas, where it is now said to haunt the curriculum mezzanine of a small university library. Seances welcome; please arrange in advance.
Eric Newsom
Eric Newsom, of the well known performance troupe "Newsom and Gatsby," won fame as a young man for acrobatic feats of wonder under the big top, the most thrilling of which involved a banana peel, three flaming blowtorches, and a trained cormorant. Mr Newsom was forced to abandon his career as a high flyer when a bicycle injury resulted in a shattered kneecap, which was eventually reconstructed from bits of puca shell. His memoirs, originally entitled My Life as a Piece of Pottery, were reissued in 1996 under the title Only Shiva Can Save You Now. Mr Newsom retired last year from his post as Chancellor of Walden University.
Sean Bilichka
The young boy Sean awoke one stormy night after receiving an urgent telepathic message from Princess Zelda. The fair maiden had been kidnapped by Agahnim, the king's trusted wizard. Sean leaped into action, heading to nearby Hyrule Castle to save the princess. But Sean's quest led him much farther than that as he discovered the disturbing depths of Agahnim's scheming against the kingdom...
Jeff Atkins
Todd Burkett
Dr Catherine Carter
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