A  family in Nugegoda was puzzled when the coffin of their

dead Mother arrived from Canada. It was sent by one of the daughters

settled in Vancouver. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside

the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they 

found a letter on top, which read as follows:

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am sending our mother's body to you since it was her last wish that: 

She should be buried only in the cemetery of the All Saints Church in 

Borella - Colombo. And also she told me to tell all of you that you

should use A.F.Raymond for embalm works not Barney Raymond or Jayaratne.

For Alms giving she said not to invite the entire town and the distant

relatives.

She said to order (only for our 4 families) 65 packets of Mutton 

Biriyani from Hotel Buhari at Maradana and open only 12 bottles of

special Arrak for the guys and only one case of Three Coins for the

ladies. One more thing she was very particular about the Hearse, which 

her coffin should carry from our home to Borella, should be 2002 model

Buick Automatic. She doesn't like manual gear old vehicles.

DON'T FORGET, THESE UNDERLINED REQUESTS ARE FROM HER

LAST WISH.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed and 

also now I'm pregnant for our seventh child. Hopefully this 

time the God will look at us and blessed with a boy. Ajith is working like 

a donkey for 20 hours a day for 3 companies to save some money for the 

dowries of 6 girls..................let's go back to Ammi's funeral business. Kraft cheese, 

10 packets of M&M chocolates, 1 box of Kit Kat, 8 packetsof Wrigley's Chewing

 Gum, 6 tins of Corned beef, 24 packets of Maggie instant noodles and 12 packets 

each Jelly & Custard powder.Please divide these among all of you. 

On Ammi's feet you will find a new Pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mangalika. 

Also, there are 2 pairs of Shoesfor Rosy's and Bernard's sons. Hope the sizes 

are correct. Ammi is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mangalika 

and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. 

The 2 new Levi's  Jeans that Ammi is wearing are for the boys (Asanka & Nilanka). 

The Swiss watch that Lakmali wanted is on Ammi's left hand. The silver colour

bangle on Ammi's right hand is for Lakshmi who became a big girl five years back. 

Josephine Aunty, Please, Please remove and take the necklace, 

earrings and the ring that you are waiting for the past 20 years saying that 

Ammi had taken twenty five thousand rupees against them for my Akki's

wedding. Aunty, I will beg you now to stop telling every one about this 

money matter.These gold worth more than that and I can get fifty thousand

from Hetti Uncle if I go to Jayalalitha's. The 6 white cotton socks 

that Ammi is wearing must be divided among my teenage nephews. And also 

there are 4 Bras Ammi is wearing. Give two to Seelawathi who is our servant 

lady and the remaining two you can give one to next door Charlet aunty 

and one to Doby Nenda. Please distribute all these uniformly and if 

anything more required let me know, since our Thaththi is also not keeping well

nowadays so I can send with him the same way. This way is much 

easy, cheaper and you don't need to worry about customs.