Title: Contemplations – Mac Author: Katey – clivin5141@aol.com Rated: PG (for some language) Category: Webb/Mac angst, eventual romance Spoilers: Several through the present time. Summary: Mac thinks about her favorite spy, Clayton Webb. Author's Note: This is the follow up (companion piece) to Contemplations, but since I couldn't think of another title I just added. Thank you all for all of your kind feed back – without it I would never have attempted this piece. Archive: Just tell me where it is at. Contemplations – Mac Lt. Colonel Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie sat on the couch in her living room absently sipping a cup of tea when her mind started wandering. Lately she frequently thought about her secret love (contrary to popular belief not Harmon Rabb) Clayton Webb. Mac had first met Clay when he got her assigned to JAG HQ to partner with Harm so that he could use her to find her Uncle. Mac knew that he had set her up – but her initial meeting with him still made her weak in the knees. Clay was gorgeous and had a sexy quality about him that she just couldn't put into words – no all she wanted to do was throw him on the floor and ravish his body. Over the years Mac had gotten to know more about Clay as a person and had gradually fallen in love with him. She knew that she was from the wrong side of the tracks and would never fit in with his family and friends. She decided to take the only course of action open to her, be his friend and lust after him from afar. For about the last 3 years she had been fantasizing about being his wife, his lover, the mother of his children, and his life mate but knew that this would never happen – however a girl could dream. In her dreams all of their children looked like Clay. In her fantasies, when she allowed them to take over her mind, Clay was the most wonderful, exciting and inventive lover imaginable. She hated to think how much time she had been fantasizing lately, she knew it was wasting time at work but no one else knew what was going on in her mind. Her co-workers chalked up her inattention to an important case and let it slide. Mac had accepted a ring from Mic Brumby in Australia because she had heard Bud and Harm discussing the beautiful women that they had seen Clay with. She turned to Harm first, but he dismissed her and since her heart was shattering in a million pieces and she needed comfort, she turned to Mic. Mic knew that he was not her first choice, but as with everyone else, he believed that was Harm. Mic and she both wanted the same things in life at the same time so she just fell into that relationship. Mac had called Clay's office several times over the years and since she talked to his secretary, Debbie, more than him, they had become friends. While out to eat one night, Debbie mentioned in passing that Clay was seeing a gorgeous brunette and speculated on how serious they were. Apparently whenever the brunette, Christy, called she was to be put through immediately. Two days after this revelation from Debbie, Mac agreed to move the ring over but came to regret it when she found out that Christy was nothing more than a contact of Clay's. By the time she found out the truth she had convinced herself that marriage to Mic was better in the long run than waiting for Clay to wake up and notice her. The engagement was eventually called off because of Harm's crash. Everyone still believed that she was in love with Harm because of the timing and speculation was rampant. After Harm's insensitive statement about all the men she had been involved with either being dead or wishing they were she had questioned whether loving Clay was worth losing him in the long run. She worried about Clay every time that she knew he was on a mission. She knew he could handle himself in any situation but still couldn't make herself stop worrying. Clay had come to mean more to her than anything. She hated to speculate on what she would do if anything ever happened to him. Harm was still her best friend and eventually they would probably marry and have children. She knew that she would never be as happy as she would with Clay, but half a cup was better than nothing, right? She would content herself with working with Clay whenever possible and continuing their friendship. Mac knew, though, that she would go to the grave loving Clayton Webb. She took another sip of her, by now, cold tea and got up and headed off to bed. After all she had a meeting with a certain sexy spy in the morning and she wanted to look her best. When the meeting was over, she knew it would be back to fantasies again until their next meeting.