Free, it just kind of jumps out at you, doesn't it?  Other than bad

advice, what can you get for free these days?  Water?  Not when the Culligan Man's on duty.  Oxygen?  Not these days, you have to go to one of L.A.'s hip Oxygen Bars to get the premium stuff.  A big wet, sloppy kiss from your favorite St. Bernard, Mr. Piddles, which seems to erase your whole face in one big slurp?  Ok, that's a freebie.  But how many people over the age of 10 want that?  What about websites that give away free stuff?  There's that word again, free.  Ever since the price of gas has shot higher than the actual cost of my car, I've had a lot of time to not go anywhere and do some research.  Here's what I've come up with.

The first site I found actually divides its free things into categories.  Imagine that, free categories of free things.  The website is called, oddly enough, TheFreeSite.  At this site you'll find free music, software, games, samples, prizes & contests, postcards, e-mail, screensavers, etc.  For those of you who are into making your own web pages there are free banners, counters, web spaces, Java, graphics, fonts, and a section just for webmasters.  Be forewarned though, you'll need to block off about 5 hrs when you go to this site.  (And if you should happen to get carpal tunnel syndrome, I know a good Chiropractor who can fix you right up.)  Click on the free samples button and see if you don't feel like a little kid in a candy store.  I tried it many months ago and it actually works.  By the way, does anybody need a sample of Silkies pantyhose? 

The next site on my list is from a young chap named Freaky Freddie.  The headline reads, Freaky Freddie's Free Funhouse of Free Stuff. 

Apparently they were giving away F's fairly freely when Freddie filed for his Free Funhouse last Friday in Flemington.  This site has also

chosen to subdivide its free offers, and even alphabetizes them for your convenience (unlike me).  There appear to be more categories to choose from than TheFreeSite, including books, clothes, food, health, recipes, rebates, video, phone, pets, magazines, holidays, babies, kids, friends, etc.  In the days when one can bid for a pancreas from Liechtenstein on eBay, these last three kind of have me a little concerned.  But how could you not trust a man named Freaky Freddie?  Check this site out, but only after you've given the tendons in your poor over-moused hand a rest.

The next site is called Free-n-Cool, which to me goes together like PB & J.  It has "the best totally free stuff and cool sites on the web".  This site is so cool (-n-free), it even has links to other free sites.  Now that's

progressive.  Lastly, there's a site called Get-It-For-Free where "Get Oodles of Free Stuff" is the slogan they've chosen to risk it all with.  That takes guts.  Alas, there are no categories to choose from, just

random, unorganized offers of free stuff ranging from Free Sex Advice (please refer to the second sentence in the first paragraph) to a Free Electronic Organizer, which they could have used on the web page

itself.  But for the freebie junkie, the internet's version of the coupon clipper, it will certainly fill a void. 

As you wade through "Oodles of Free stuff" always keep this golden piece of advice in mind, "If it looks too good to be true, it probably is."  And remember, in order to receive free samples you do have to give them your P.O. Box or house address, which always makes me nervous that I'm going to open my P.O. Box one day and be trapped by an

avalanche of junk mail.  To avoid this, do what I do and have them sent to your neighbor's mailbox.  Just make sure no one's looking when you sneak out your free sample of Cool Eez Hemorrhoidal Cream.  Well, time to go clean the dog spit off my face with my new free sample of Kleenex disposables.  TA.

Did You Say Free?