Need a mental break? Go have some fun!

Well, it's 3:00 in the morning, my eyes are blood shot, and I can barely keep a thought in my head for longer than a millisecond. I've been doing some reading on the latest in Chiropractic research, and I accidentally passed my normal "bedtime". Now I'm so tired, and wired, that I feel like my eyes are glued open in this perpetual "Oh-my-God-what-did-I-just-step-in" stare. Yet every time I try to lie down and close my eyes, all I see are search engines and web pages. In fact, when I do actually fall asleep, I have to click on a link to go to the next dream.

Ok, Ok, I lied, I wasn't checking out the latest Chiropractic research, although that is on my list of Things to Do, I was, um, having some fun? That's right, I was actually visiting web sites that have no real purpose, other than to entertain and keep me up until my brains are as scrambled as the eggs I'll be eating in about 2 hours. These web sites are the uvula (that little fleshy thing in the back of your throat) of the Internet. No real purpose, but interesting to look at. If you need some time to kill, and don't feel like thinking too hard, here are some sites that you may find interesting and entertaining.

Anyone who's been reading my articles should realize by now that I am an avid disciple of Dave Barry. I am the grasshopper of satire to his Kung Fu Masterness, the Gilligan to his Skipperness, the lowly flying monkey to his Wizard of Ozzness. Outside of Alan King, Dennis Miller, and Drew Carey, there are very few writers/comedians who can truly make me laugh, but when I read Dave Barry I find myself clinging to the pages as I view them through a stream of ongoing giggle tears. Ok, getting the idea that this guy rules? You will have to go to the Miami Herald if you want to catch up with Dave, and some of his old articles. If you need a laugh in a hurry, go here and get some emergency care.

For the truly depraved and lonely soul, there's a unique, purposeless website called Where's George. Once you register, you take all your cash, type in the denominations and serial numbers of your bills, sit back and wait. This site tracks where your money goes after you spend it. I think you'll be surprised, and maybe even a little repulsed. Surprisingly, none of it went down the drain like my dad said his used to do.

Ever wonder what was happening on the day you were born, other than your mom screaming and cursing out your father? For some nostalgic fun, check out dMarie Time Capsule. All you have to do is type in your birthday and hit go. It will bring up a page that lists all the events of the day, including the average cost of a house, bread, milk, gas, and stamps. You can click a link and it will bring up your page in a format that's easier for printing. Get some fancy paper, throw it in a frame, and you have yourself a birthday present. Be prepared, however, for the depressing effects looking back in time will have on your psyche. For example, on my birthday (June 14. 1968), Robert Kennedy was assassinated while Simon & Garfunkel sang about Mrs. Robinson, and gas was only 34 cents. Was this some kind of omen?

Lastly, if you have a little voyeur in you just waiting to come out, and peep behind some curtains, then check out PoliceScanner.com. Here you'll have your choice of listening to one of four categories, fire, police, aviation, or rail. Each one is divided into specific locations, such as the LAPD, Miami PD, Dallas airport, etc. If you don't already have one, you'll need to download either RealPlayer, or Windows Media Player, both free, with links from this website. Hop on and listen to the real NYPD Blue, if you can understand the accent.

I hope you have some fun with these sites. We all need a little break from life sometimes, unless you're like me and just need a break from the internet. Then you're out of luck here.