Title: "Eight Weeks Series - Week Eight - Falling Into Hell"

Spoilers: Lost City Part 2... Eight Weeks version!

Summary: Sam finally makes it to Antarctica.

On Monday, Sam thought to ask the one remaining doctor if he would be removing her cast as it was due to come off. This set off a flurry of calls to McMurdo, and the Academy Hospital, where Sam finally ended up on Tuesday morning getting the cast off. She was given some light exercises, and threatened with dire consequences if she didn't use a cane to keep her full weight off of the still recovering tendons and muscles. Her physical therapy wasn't scheduled to start until the following Monday, as the therapists were overloaded with cases that had been transferred back from McMurdo. All in all though, the doctor that had reviewed her latest x-rays was cautiously optimistic. Sam saw this as a unique opportunity. She headed straight for Dr. Weir's office when she returned to base.

"You want to do what?" Weir demanded in astonishment.

"I want to fly out to the Antarctic sight so I can see the machine that the Colonel is in up close. There is a flight heading out later tonight, and since I don't have to start PT until Monday it gives me a couple of days grace period to go out, confer with the scientists there, and see for myself just what this thing looks like. It's hard to get an accurate view of it from just the pictures and schematics," Sam explained calmly.

Weir looked over the Lt. Colonel carefully. Her gut instincts were telling her there was more to this request than met the eye, but Carter was showing no signs of anything but scientific interest. She was tempted to deny her since she wasn't cleared for active duty, but knew that an on-world research mission posed no danger to the Lt. Colonel at this point.

"Fine," Weir agreed with a sigh. "You can go, but just for one day. I want you back here on Friday with a full report," she warned.

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you, Ma'am," Sam replied.

The flight would have normally been grueling but for Sam, who hadn't slept well in weeks, the engine noise was the best sleeping pill in the world. She dozed peacefully for ten hours. Then the nightmares started. She must have called out because she awoke with a young Captain looking at her in concern with one hand on her shoulder.

"Are you all right Ma'am?" he inquired politely.

Sam blushed and nodded. "Just a bad dream, Captain, thank you."

The rest of the flight was uneventful as Sam tried to contain her nervous energy that seemed to increase the closer they got to their destination. It was late on Wednesday when they finally arrived at the base camp above the Ancient outpost. The light was fading, and it was decided that she would have to wait until morning before ringing down as most of the researchers had already returned and only a handful of SF's remained below. She instantly sought out Daniel and Teal'c who were thrilled if slightly surprised to see her.

"You got your cast off!" Daniel exclaimed, giving her a hug.

"Yesterday," Sam nodded trying not to dwell on it. She didn't want to remember all of the things Jack had jokingly promised they would do once it was off. Most of them were x-rated. She would save those thought for the lonely nights she knew were ahead of her.

"Are you sure it is wise for you to be here Colonel Carter?" Teal'c inquired, eyeing her cane.

"I had to come, Teal'c. I couldn't stand not knowing," she confessed.

Teal'c placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze even as he bowed his head in understanding.

"Well we were just about to eat. Come on, you can fill us in on everything that went on at the SGC while we were off on Jack's grand tour of Ancient outposts," Daniel offered with a tired smile. He couldn't help but wonder if Sam was up to what she was going to see in the morning.

Over dinner Sam was thrilled to learn that both Daniel and Teal'c were planning on flying back late tomorrow anyway. She checked in with the officer in charge and was able to get herself on the same transport back. She had a feeling she was going to need all the support she could get when she had to part from Jack and leave him here. Because even though there would be several dozen people still there, with no one from SG-1 to stand guard it would feel like they were leaving him behind.

She didn't sleep at all that night and was one of the first ones up an in the mess tent in the morning. She was on her second cup of coffee when her former teammates arrived. Knowing her time down below in the ancient outpost was limited they quickly ate and escorted her to the rings that had been installed in the middle of their base. A moment later she was standing before Jack's frozen body.

The picture's hadn't done it justice and Sam's knees almost gave out on her at she approached. Luckily Teal'c had been prepared for this reaction and his firm grip on her elbow kept her from slipping on the hazardous ground. He assisted her until she was standing directly in front of the device and then he took a few steps away to give her privacy all the while attentive to her demeanor in case she should need support.

It was early enough that there were only a few guards standing around and Daniel quickly shooed them away. As soon as Sam was alone she reached one hand out to touch the icy surface and her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm here, Jack," she whispered.

Leaving was the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her entire life. If Daniel and Teal'c hadn't been accompanying her she didn't think she could have done it. Now on the plane back to Colorado she watched as her two friends took turns dozing, one of them always awake and sitting with her. She couldn't sleep. She wondered if she would ever close her eyes again without seeing the image of Jack pale and frozen, more unreachable than he had ever been. She pulled her coat more tightly around her. She just couldn't seem to get warm.

Twenty hours later they had landed at Peterson and been driven back to Cheyenne Mountain. Dr Weir was waiting for them, and they immediately were sequestered with her to give her a status report. Sam barely spoke a dozen words during the two hours that they met. When Weir questioned her she claimed jet lag, which was partially true. She figured it would take a week for her body to figure out what time of day it was after being in the air thirty-nine hours out of the last seventy-two. She almost sighed out loud in relief when the meeting adjourned. She needed to escape, breathe some fresh air, and find the solitude that would allow her to cry.

Daniel and Teal'c insisted that they escort her home. Worried that Cassie might have gone out on a Friday night, they didn't want her returning to a dark empty house in her depressed state. Luckily for her Cassandra was there, and Sam convinced the two men that they should go and leave her to talk to Cassie alone.

"I was going to go over to Melinda's to sleep over tonight, but I can cancel," Cass explained once Sam had relayed the little news she had.

"No sweetie, go ahead. Frankly all the travel is catching up to me and I feel like I could sleep for a week," she told the teen. "You go ahead and we will plan to spend time together tomorrow when I am more awake," Sam assured her.

"Ok, if you're sure. I ordered Chinese last night and there are plenty of leftovers in the fridge," Cassie imparted with a wave as she picked up her keys and overnight bag.

And finally Sam was alone. Suddenly though she was restless and she realized that her house was not the refuge she needed that night. Twenty minutes later she was opening the front door of Jack's place and after closing the door behind her she stopped to let the peacefulness sink in. The moonlight was streaming in, and she didn't even need to turn a light on to find her way to the bedroom where they had spent the majority of the time they'd had together. Suddenly she was home, and with the smell and feel of the man she loved all around her she was able to curl up in the bed and sleep.

When the nightmares came she awoke shaking with tears streaming down her face. She tried to burrow deeper into the covers but found no warmth there. Finally, wrapped in a blanket she went out to the living room and lit a fire, then curled up close to the warmth and let the dancing flames hypnotize her into a light doze. As the sun began to rise she decide she had better get back before Daniel and Teal'c showed up, as she knew they would.

By the time they arrived with bagels in hand she had showered and changed, and made a silent vow to herself. They all would miss the Colonel immensely and they would get through this together as a family. But she would allow herself time to do her own grieving for Jack in private.

And no one would see her cry.

END WEEK EIGHT

Continued in Epilogue: Going In Circles