~ PART 1PART 2 ~ PART 3 ~ PART 4 ~

INT. MARLA'S ROOM - NIGHT

Marla stands facing a MIRROR with her shirt open. Jack stands behind her with his hand on the bottom side of her breast. Marla's hand guides it.

JACK
Right there?

MARLA
Huh...Feel anything?

JACK
No.

Jack's head is behind Marla's. They speak softer, slower.

MARLA
Well, make sure.

JACK
Okay, I'm pretty sure.

MARLA
Feel nothing?

JACK
No, nothing.

Marla turns around and faces him, begins to button her shirt.

MARLA
Well, that's a relief. Thank you.

JACK
Umm...no problem.

MARLA
I wish I could return the favor.

JACK
Well, there's not a lot breast cancer in the men of my family.

MARLA
I could check your prostate.

JACK
I think I'm ok.

MARLA
Well...thanks anyway.

Marla leans closer and kisses him.

JACK
Are we done?

Marla sighs.

MARLA
Yeah, we're done. See you...around.

Jack takes his jacket and leaves.

EXT. MARLA'S HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER

Jack emerges from the lobby. He looks up at Marla's window. He is about to walk away when he listens a familiar voice -- 

BOB
Cornelius?

Jack turns and sees -- Big Bob, the moose, eating a donut and drinking orange juice.

BOB
Cornelius! It's me! Bob!

JACK
Bob!

Jack gives him his hand, but Bob hugs him.

BOB
We all thought you were dead.

JACK
(chuckles)
No, no. Still here. How are you, Bob?

BOB
Better than I've ever been in my whole life.

JACK
Really? Still "Remaining Men Together?"

BOB
No, no, I got something much better now.

JACK
Really? What is it?

BOB
(quietly)
Well, the first rule is...I'm not supposed to talk about it. And the second rule is...I'm not supposed to talk about it. And the third rule is--

JACK
Bob, Bob, I'm a member. Look at my face, Bob.

Bob laughs.

BOB
That's fuckin--
(quietly)
That's fucking great!

JACK
I have never seen you there.

BOB
I go Tuesdays and Thursdays.

JACK
I go Saturday.

BOB
Congratulations!

JACK
Yeah, hey, to both of us, right?

BOB
Do you know about the guy who invented this thing?

JACK
Well, yeah, actually--

BOB
I hear all kinds of things.

JACK
Yeah?

BOB
Supposedly, he was born in a mental institution. And he sleeps only one hour at night. He's a great man.

JACK
Oh,....--

BOB
Do you know about Tyler Durden?

Jack stares at him.

INT. BASEMENT - ELECTRONICS WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

The CROWD SCREAMS insanely as Bob and Jack go at it in the circle of light. Bob's eyes are wild with glee.

EXT. BASEMENT DOOR - ELECTRONICS WAREHOUSE - LATER

Everyone sneaks out of this new location - we've seen none of these guys before - it's a new chapter. Jack and Bob stagger out last, Jack being in worse shape. They both grin with religious serenity. Bob hugs Jack.

BOB
I didn't hurt you, did I?

JACK
Actually, you did.

BOB
Thank you for this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

JACK
Bob, Bob, Bob!

JACK (V.O.)
Fight club -- this was mine and Tyler's gift...our gift to the world.

INT. LOU'S TAVERN - BASEMENT - NIGHT

An enormous CROWD of guys, including Jack and Bob, stands around Tyler, who's in the center of the circle.

TYLER
Look around, look around...and I see a lot of new faces.

An enthusiastic RUMBLE from the crowd.

TYLER
Shut up! Which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules of fight club.

A glum silence falls. Guys look at each other.

TYLER
Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. I see all this potential -- God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables;  they're slaves with white collars. Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit they don't need. We are the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised by television to believe that one day we'll all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars -- but we won't. And we're learning slowly that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

The crowd erupts into a DEAFENING CHORUS of agreement. Jack looks at blazing excitement in the eyes of the crowd.

TYLER
The first rule of fight club is, you do not about--

A fat, MIDDLE-AGED MAN stomps down the stairs, pushing into the crowd, followed by a TALL, HEFTY THUG, who holds a GUN.

TYLER
Who are you?

FAT MAN (LOU)
Who am I?! 

TYLER
Yeah.

LOU
There's a sign on the front says "Lou's tavern." I'm fucking Lou. Who the fuck are you?!

TYLER
Tyler Durden.

LOU
Who told you motherfuckers that you could use my place?

TYLER
We have a deal worked out with Irvin.

LOU
Irvin? Irvin's at home with a broken collarbone.

Everyone glances guiltily at each other.

LOU
He don't own this place. I do. How much money's getting for this?

TYLER
There is no money.

LOU
Really?

TYLER
Free to all.

LOU
Ain't that something?

TYLER
It is actually.

LOU
Look, stupid fuck, I want everyone outta here now!

TYLER
Hey. You should join our club.

LOU
Did you hear what I just said?

TYLER
You and your friend.

Lou SLUGS Tyler in the stomach, doubles him over.

LOU
You hear me now?

Tyler gains his breath, determined.

TYLER
No, I didn't quite catch it, Lou..

Lou PUNCHES him again in the face.

TYLER
Oh!! Still not getting it.

Lou PUNCHES him again in the face.

TYLER
Ahh!! Ok, ok, I got, I got it. Shit I lost it.

Lou proceeds to beat the shit out of Tyler, PUNCHING his face, his stomach. Tyler collapses to the floor. Lou starts KICKING his stomach. Tyler bleeds from the mouth and face. Some of the guys move forward, but the Thug points the gun. Tyler waves them off. Tyler starts laughing hysterically.

THUG
Get back, all of you! Everybody back!

TYLER
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Aw, Lou...,come on man, we really like this place.

Lou flushes red with exasperation, KICKS more. Tyler continues laughing hysterically. Lou PUNCHES him repeatedly in the face.

TYLER
That's it, Lou, get it out.

LOU
Shut the fuck up!

TYLER
Oh, yeah! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho!

LOU
Do you think this is fucking funny?

Finally sweating, bewildered Lou stops. He looks to the Thug who is just bewildered.

LOU
Fuckin' guys are loony, I'm telling ya. Unbelievable.

Suddenly Tyler SPRINGS UP, grabs onto Lou...Tyler's blood spatters on Lou. Lou tries to shake Tyler off, but he can't. The Thug grabs Tyler and pulls. Tyler spits and shouts through clenched teeth.

TYLER
You don't know we're I've been, Lou! 

LOU
Oh, my God!

TYLER
You don't know where I've been! Ha, ha, ha!

Tyler rubs his bloody face into Lou's face. The Thug lifts Tyler. Tyler clings to Lou's necktie, dragging Lou as he is dragged...

TYLER
Please let us keep this place, Lou. Please!

Blood dribbles out of Tyler's mouth, spattering Lou.

LOU
Fucking, use the basement, Christ!

TYLER
I want your word, Lou! I want your word!

LOU
On my mother's honor.

Tyler lets go of Lou's belt. Lou scrambles away. The Thug drops Tyler, trying to keep cleat of the blood. Lou gets to his feet. He and the Thug back away...slamming the door behind.

TYLER
Thanks, Lou.
(to the Thug)
You too big guy. See you next week.

Fight club surrounds Tyler. They help him up, move him to a crate. Tyler sits slumped for a long moment, his breathing labored...then he sits back, crossing his legs and looking to the group, his demeanor businesslike.

TYLER
This week, each one of you has a homework assignment. You're going to go out and start a fight with a total stranger...
(pause, drooling blood)
You're start a fight...and you're gonna lose.

Jack beams in appreciation.

EXT. CAR SELLING COMPANY - DAY

RICKY looks at a car--the seller is standing behind him.

SELLER
Excellent choice, sir.

EXT. STREET - DAY

BOB tries to trip a passing BUSINESSMAN.

EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY

A MECHANIC WITH A BATTERED FACE uses a hose to wash the sidewalk. As MEN pass, he jerks the hose up and SPRAYS THEM.

FIRST MAN
Hey, watch out, jackass! Come on!

These men continue on their way.

JACK (V.O.)
Now this is not as easy as it sounds. 

EXT. CAR SELLING COMPANY - DAY

Ricky throws the seller over.

SELLER
Son of a bitch!

JACK (V.O.)
Most people, normal people, do just about anything to avoid a fight.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Bob watches a yuppie on a bicycle passing by.

EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY

The mechanic continues to wash the sidewalk. As a PRIEST passes, he jerks the hose up and SPRAYS him. When the priest turns to him, he washes the sidewalk.

PRIEST
Excuse me, you sprayed me with your hose.

The mechanic  jerks the hose up and SPRAYS him again.

MECHANIC
Like that?

PRIEST
That's not necessary.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Bob chases the yuppie on his bicycle.

YUPPIE
Hey, leave me alone!

EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY

Ricky beats the seller.

SELLER
(to his mate)
Dave, go call 911!

EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY

Ricky takes the BIBLE from the priest's hands and SPRAYS it.

PRIEST
Stop it!

The priest PUNCHES the mechanic in the stomach. The mechanic punches him in the face. The priest runs away.

PRIEST
Sorry!

EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY

The seller's mate goes out and Ricky punches him too.

SELLER'S MATE
What are you did--? Come here--

EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY

The Priest goes back and fight with the mechanic.

PRIEST
Bastard!

INT. BOSS'S OFFICE - DAY

Jack steps into the open doorway, knocks on the doorframe. Boss looks up from his large, expensive desk.

JACK
We need to talk.

Jack closes the door and sits on a chair.

BOSS
Okay. Where to begin? With your constant absenteeism? With your un-presentable appearance? You're up for a review.

JACK
I Am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise.

BOSS
What?

JACK
Let's pretend. You're the Department of Transportation, okay? Someone informs you that this company installs front seats that never pass collision tests, brake lines that fail over a thousand miles and fuel injectors that explode and burn people alive. What then?

BOSS
Are you threatening me?

JACK
No,...--

Boss sits up in his seat, becoming enraged.

BOSS
Get the fuck outta here! You're fired.

JACK
I have a better solution: You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary my job will be never to tell people these things that I know. I don't even have to come to office, I can do this job from home.

BOSS
Who--who the fuck do you think you are, you crazy little shit?

Boss stands up, picks up the phone.

BOSS
(into phone)
Security?

JACK (V.O.)
I Am Jack's Smirking Revenge.

Jack PUNCHES HIMSELF in the nose. He falls to the floor. Blood starts to trickle. Boss drops the phone on the floor. 

JACK
What the hell are you doing?

Jack PUNCHES HIMSELF in the jaw. He hits on a table made of glass and SMASHES it.

JACK
Oh! That hurt.

Jack stands up again.

JACK
Why would you do that? Oh, my God! No! No! Please stop!

Jack GRABS HIMSELF from his shirt. Boss stares. Jack looks behind him -- A HANGING GLASS SHELF.

JACK
What are you doing? Oh, God, no please, no!

JACK (V.O.)
For some reason, I thought of my first fight -- with Tyler.

Jack PUNCHES HIMSELF in the face and he reels backwards to the shelf, pulling it down. He hits the floor. He PUNCHES HIMSELF again in the face. Jack crawls toward Boss, dripping blood, grabs Boss's legs. Jack climbs up Boss's legs while Boss tries to shake him off. Boss stumbles back into his desk, knocking off belongings.

JACK (V.O.)
Under and behind and inside, everything this man took for granted, something horrible had been growing.

Jack crawls high enough to grab Boss's belt, hoisting himself up. He dribbles blood at Boss's clothing, SMUDGES blood from his face onto the knuckles of Boss's hands.

JACK
Now look! Give me the paychecks like I asked. And you won't ever see me again.

JACK (V.O.)
And right then, at our most excellent moment together...

Two SECURITY GUARDS enter and gape at the sight. Behind them stand CURIOUS WORKERS, looking in.

JACK
(crying)
Oh, thank God, please don't hit me again, please...

INT. OFFICE HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Jack, whistling, drags an unwieldy SHOPPING CART filled with his COMPUTER, PHONE, FAX and other office equipment. The two SECURITY GUARDS are behind him, keeping workers away from Jack, who hasn't stop bleeding.

JACK (V.O.)
Telephone, computer, fax machine, eighty-two weekly pay-checks, forty-eight flight coupons...We now have corporate sponsorship. This is how Tyler and I were able to have fight club every night of the week.

INT. RECORD STORE STOCKROOM - NIGHT

A FIST smashes a JAW. Guys CHEER. An arms snakes around a neck and squeezes, blood and sweat dripping. It's the YUPPIE and the PRIEST fighting. Tyler walks around the perimeter of the circle.

JACK (V.O.)
No nobody was the center of fight club except the two men fighting. The leader walked around in the crowd, out in the darkness. Tyler was now involved in a class-action lawsuit with the Pressman Hotel over the urine content of their soup. I am Jack's Wasted Life.

INT. RECORD STORE STOCKROOM - LATER

Tyler hands ENVELOPES out to the crowd. Jack is next to him.

JACK (V.O.)
Tyler dreamed up new homework assignments. He handed them out in sealed enveloped.

EXT. CITY ROOFTOPS - LATE NIGHT

Two FIGHT CLUBBERS SWING a BASEBALL BAT -- DESTROYS a digital SATELLITE DISH and other ANTENNAS.

EXT. STREET - LATE NIGHT

Bob and Ricky paste up a BILLBOARD which reads: "DID YOU KNOW? YOU CAN USE YOUR OLD MOTOR OIL TO FERTILIZE YOUR LAWN! -- ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY."

EXT. LARGE PARKING LOT - LATE NIGHT

JACK and TYLER, in work gloves, armed with TOOLS, work together to lift the entire METAL PLATE EXIT SPIKES from the ground. They REVERSE it, then replace it.

MOMENTS LATER

Jack and Tyler walk away, each carrying a 4x4 plank of WOOD. As they pass PARKED CARS, they SWING the planks against the front bumpers -- activating ALARMS and INFLATING AIR BAGS...

JACK
Did you know there's a fight club up in Delaware City?

TYLER
Yeah, I heard.

JACK
There's one in Penn's Grove, too. 

TYLER
(indicating a parked car)
Leave this.

JACK
Bob, even found one in Newcastle.

TYLER
Yeah, did you start that one?

JACK
No, I thought you did.

TYLER
Nah...

They come upon a VOLKSWAGEN, they both look at each other.

TYLER AND JACK
Pfft!

They SWING it.

In the background a CAR quickly EXITS the parking lot -- front tires EXPLODING, wheel rims throwing sparks. Tyler and Jack laugh.

EXT. CAR COMPANY - ROOFTOP - LATE NIGHT

FIGHT CLUBBERS handfuls of wet BREADCRUMBS to PIGEONS...HUNDRED OF PIGEONS -- a rooftop feeding-frenzy.

EXT. CAR COMPANY - DAY

Luxury AUTOMOBILES are parked, splattered with BIRD SHIT.

EXT. AIRLINE CABIN - ON GROUND - DAY

One AIRPLANE MAINTENANCE MAN, rip open a box from a PRINT SHOP. He digs up AIRPLANE SAFETY INSTRUCTION CARDS and begin inserting them into each seatback. We SEE a CARD -- it shows passengers SCREAMING and FLAILING ABOUT IN TERROR.

INT. COMPUTER SHOP

THREE FIGHT CLUB MEMBERS, using a DRILL to drill a hole into the top of each computer. One of them, with FUNNELS and CANS of GASOLINE fills each monitor with gasoline.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT

Tyler and Jack cross the parking lot, towards the convenience store. Jack wears a BACKPACK.

TYLER
Stop for a second.

JACK
Hey, what are we doing?

TYLER
Turn around.

JACK
What are we doing?

Tyler takes the BACKPACK, unzips it, searching contents.

TYLER
Homework assignment.

JACK
What kind of homework assignment?

Tyler takes out a HANDGUN, hands the backpack back.

TYLER
Human sacrifice.

JACK
Hey, is that a gun? Please, please tell me that's not a gun!

TYLER
It's a gun.

JACK
What are you doing?

TYLER
Meet me in the back.

JACK
No, no, don't fuck around.

TYLER
Meet me in the back.

Tyler goes inside the store and Jack runs back.

JACK
Fuck.

JACK (V.O.)
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

EXT. BEHIND THE CONVENIENCE STORE - MOMENTS LATER

THE BACK DOOR opens and Tyler brings the store's CLERK out at gunpoint, forces him to his knees. Jack is already there, freaked. Tyler points the gun at the Clerk's head.

JACK
What are you doing? Come on...

TYLER
(to the clerk)
Hands behind the back.

JACK
God!

TYLER
(to the clerk)
Give me your wallet.

The Clerk fumbles his wallet out of his pocket and Tyler snatches it. Tyler pulls out the DRIVER'S LICENSE.

TYLER
Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 SE Benning, apartment A. Small, cramped basement apartment, Raymond?

RAYMOND
How'd you know?

TYLER
Because they give shitty basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond, you are going to die.

RAYMOND
No,...

Tyler rummages through the wallet.

TYLER
Is that your mom and dad? Mom and dad will have to call kindly dr. so-and-so to dig up your dental records, do you wanna know why? Because there won't be nothing left of your face.

RAYMOND
Oh...

JACK
Aw, come on!

Raymond begins to weep, shoulders heaving.

TYLER
An expired community student ID! What did you study, Raymond?

RAYMOND
S-s-s-stuff...

TYLER
Stuff? Where the mid-terms hard?

Tyler rams the gun barrel against Raymond's temple.

TYLER
I asked you what you studied.

RAYMOND
Biology, mostly.

TYLER
Why?

RAYMOND
I don't know...

TYLER
What did you wanted to be, Raymond K. Hessel?

Raymond weeps and says nothing. Tyler COCKS the gun. Raymond GASPS.

TYLER
The question, Raymond, is what did you want to be?

JACK
Answer, Raymond! Jesus!

RAYMOND
Veterinarian! Veterinarian!

TYLER
Animals.

RAYMOND
Yeah, animals and s-s-s....

TYLER
--Stuff, yeah I got that. That means you have to get more schooling.

RAYMOND
Too much school.

TYLER
Would you rather be dead? Would you rather die? Here? On your knees? In the back of a convenient shop?

RAYMOND
Nooo!

Tyler UNLOCKS the gun, lowers it.

TYLER
I'm keeping your license. I'm going to check on you. I know where you live. If you aren't back in school and on your way to being a veterinarian in six weeks, you will be dead. Now run on home.

Tyler throws him his wallet. Raymond takes it, staggers to his feet and heads down an alleyway, running.

TYLER
Run, Forrest, run!

JACK
I feel ill.

TYLER
Imagine how he feels.

JACK
Come on, this isn't funny! That wasn't funny! What the fuck was the point of that?

TYLER
Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day in Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.

Tyler throws the gun back to Jack and walks away.

JACK (V.O.)
You had to give it to him.

TYLER
Come on.

JACK (V.O.)
He had a plan. And it started to make sense in Tyler sort of way. No fear. No distractions.

Jack pulls the trigger -- CLICK. Empty.

JACK (V.O.)
The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. 

EXT. COMPUTERS SHOP - NIGHT

SLOW MOTION, gasoline filled COMPUTER MONITORS begin to EXPLODE...BOOM...BOOM...BOOM!

EXT. PAPER STREET HOUSE - BACKYARD - DAWN

Tyler uses a RAKE, dragging it across rocks and dirt. He stops for a moment, rake on his shoulder, starring off.

TYLER
(muttering quietly)
You are not your job...you are not how much money you have in the bank...not the car you drive...not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Jack sits at the table, sips coffee. He's pale, dazed, seems broken. MARLA walks into the kitchen and goes straight to the counter. Her back is to Jack as he looks at her. She pours coffee.

MARLA
I'll be out of your way in a sec.

JACK
You...you don't have to go.

Marla turns to face him.

MARLA
Whatever.

JACK
No,...I mean it. It's ok.
(pause)
You still going to groups?

MARLA
Yeah. Chloe's dead.

JACK
Ah, Chloe. When did that happen?

MARLA
Do you care?

JACK
I don't know, I haven't thought about that in a while.

MARLA
Yeah... it was the smart move of her part.

JACK
Hey, listen...wh-- what are you getting out of this?

MARLA
What?

JACK
I mean...all this...why do you keep...is this making you happy?

MARLA
Yeah, sometimes.

JACK
Well,...--I don't know -- I don't understand, why does a weaker person need to latch on a strong person? What is that?

MARLA
What do you get out of it?

Faint SOUND of SAWING and HAMMERING. Jack doesn't quite figure where it's coming from.

JACK
No...it's not the same thing at all...it's totally different with us, we're --

MARLA
"Us"? What do you mean by "us"?

JACK
I'm sorry--do you hear this?

MARLA
Hear what?

JACK
You're not hearing all that noise? -- hold on.

MARLA
No, wait. What were you saying? Don't change the subject, I wanna talk about this.

Jack stands up -- turns -- through the crack of the open basement door, Tyler's staring at Jack from the bottom of the stairs.

TYLER
(harsh whisper)
You're not talking about me, are you?

JACK
(To Tyler)
No. 
(to Marla)
What?

Marla moves closer to him.

MARLA
That day you came over my house to play doctor...what was going on there?

TYLER
(still a whisper)
What are you talking about?

JACK
(to Tyler)
Nothing.
(to Marla)
Nothing.

MARLA
I don't think so.

JACK
Come on, what do you want?

MARLA
Look at me.

JACK
No...what?

MARLA
Look at me.

Marla sees the kiss-scar on Jack's hand, grabs his hand. Jack tries to pull it back, but Marla keeps a grip.

MARLA
What it that?

JACK
It's nothing, don't worry about it.

MARLA
Oh my God -- who did this?

JACK
A person.

MARLA
Guy or girl?

JACK
Why do you care if it's a guy or a girl?

MARLA
Why do you care if I ask?

JACK
This is none of your business Leave me alone.

MARLA
You're afraid to say.

JACK
I'm not afraid to say. Let me go!

MARLA
No! Talk to me!

JACK
Let go of me!

MARLA
No!

JACK
(pulls his hand free)
Leave me alone.

TYLER
(whisper)
This conversation...

JACK
This conversation...

TYLER
...is over.

JACK
...is over.

Jack closes the basement door.

MARLA
I just can't win with you, can I?

Marla leaves out the back door, not looking back. Jack opens the basement door, heads downstairs.

INT. BASEMENT STAIRCASE

Jack looks around. TRIPLE-DECKER BUNKS clutter the basement, as many as can fit into space. Tyler's no there.

JACK
This is getting a little old.

From upstairs, the SOUND of the DOORBELL.

Tyler comes out of the next-room and walks upstairs, passing as Jack continues down.

JACK
Wh--what is all this?

TYLER
What do you think?

JACK
Bunk-beds? Why do we need bunk-beds? Hey!

INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Tyler opens the door. A FIGHT CLUBBER, STEPH stands on the porch, staring ahead in subordinate military style. He's in black pants, black shirt, black shoes, holds a PAPER BAG, with an army surplus MATTRESS rolled-up at his feet. Tyler looks the man over.

TYLER
Too young. Sorry.

Tyler comes back inside, shuts the door.

JACK
What's all that?

TYLER
Right, if the applicant is young, tell him is too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat.

JACK
"Applicant"?

TYLER
If the applicant waits at the door for three days without food, shelter or encouragement, then he may enter and begin his training.

JACK
Training for what?

EXT. PORCH - MOMENTS LATER

JACK comes out, walks around Steph, hands his pockets. Tyler stands at the doorway, lights a cigarette.

JACK
Do you think this is a game? You're too young to train here, end of the story. Quit wasting our time. Get the fuck outta here.

EXT. PORCH - NIGHT

Steph remains in attention. Tyler comes out, friendly.

TYLER
Bad news friend. It's not going to happen. I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding. It's not the end of the world. Just go away. Go! You're trespassing and I will have to call the police. 

EXT. PORCH - LATER

Steph's still there. Jack is out with a BROOM.

JACK
Don't you look at me! You think you're ever going to get on this house? You'll never gonna get in this fucking house. Never!

Jack hits Steph with the BROOM.

JACK
Now, get off the porch! Get of the porch!

JACK (V.O.)
Sooner or later, we all became what Tyler wanted us to be.

JACK
I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna fetch a shovel.

FROM THE WINDOW, Tyler sips coffee, watches the scene on the PORCH below.

EXT. PORCH - MORNING

Steph is still there. BOB is next to him, in black, with a PAPER BAG in hand, mattress at his feet. Tyler steps out. Jack stands in the doorway, locking eyes on Bob. To all the following questions, Steph answers "Sir!"

TYLER
You have two black shirts? Two pair black pants? One pair black boots? Two pair black socks? One black jacket? Three hundred dollars personal burial money? Alright.

Steph goes in. Tyler turns to Bob.

TYLER
You're too old, fat man. And your tits are too big. Get the fuck of my porch.

Bob looks genuinely hurt. He picks up his mattress and starts away. Tyler goes inside, but Jack follows Bob.

JACK
Bob...Bob.

EXT. PORCH - NIGHT

CRICKETS CHIRP. Bob stands at a rigid attention.

INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT

Tyler and Jack stand in the bathroom doorway, watching Steph finish SHAVING off all of his HAIR. Tyler comes to give the top of Steph's head a sharp SLAP.

TYLER
Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good.

From now on, all those with shaved heads: "SPACE MONKEYS".

EXT. PORCH - DAY

BOB stands motionless. There's another "applicant", ANGEL FACE, beside Bob. Steph comes out the front door.

STEPH
(to Bob)
You're too fucking old fatty!
(to Angel Face)
And you! You're too fucking...blond! Get the outta here, both of you.

Jack has been watching the scene from the window. He looks out.

JACK (V.O.)
 And so it went...

EXT. BACKYARD - DAY

HALF A DOZEN SPACE MONKEYS work, preparing the square of backyard. They pull weeds, clear rocks, working with shovels, rakes, etc. They cart away WHEELBARROWS of rocks and carry in SACKS of FERTILIZER. Tyler watches them.

TYLER
Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. We are the same decaying organic matter organic as everyone else.

IN THE KITCHEN WINDOW Jack watches...

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Jack keeps watching out the window, eats toast.

JACK (V.O.)
Tyler built himself an army.

TYLER (O.S.)
 We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. We are all part from the same compost heap.

EXT. PAPER STREET - NIGHT.

Jack gets off the bus. As the bus pulls away, we see it dropped Jack off right in front of the house. 

JACK (V.O.)
Why was Tyler Durden building an army? To what purpose? For what greater good? In Tyler we trusted.

INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Jack passes by the living room and sees SPACE MONKEYS. He heads to...

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Jack enters. Tyler, dressed in FATIGUES and splattered with GREEN PAINT, grabs BEERS from the refrigerator. He sees Jack and gives him a hug.

JACK
Hey, what's all this?

TYLER
Hey!

JACK
Ok.

Jack notices ROPE and RAPPELLING TOOLS on table. 

JACK
What's going on?

Tyler hands Jack a bunch of beers, nod to the living room.

TYLER
Go in, we're celebrating.

JACK
What are we celebrating?

TYLER
Go in.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Jack, bewildered, enters carrying beers. BOB, STEPH, ANGEL FACE and several other space monkeys sit in front of the TV, chanting not too loudly, all also dressed in FATIGUES and splattered with GREEN PAINT. ANGEL FACE stands up, and takes the beers from Jack's hands.

ANGEL FACE
Let me get that for you.

Angel Face starts distributing beers amongst his cohorts. Jack looks to the TV -- it shows LIVE shot of the "PARKER MORRIS BUILDING".  A REPORTER is there covering the story.

REPORTER
Police Commissioner Jacobs has just arrived, Commissioner could you please tell us what you think has happened here?

COMMISSIONER JACOBS, a wrinkled official, turns to camera.

COMMISSIONER JACOBS
We believe this is one related to the recent acts of vandalism around the city, somehow related to underground boxing clubs. We are coordinating a rigorous investigation.

REPORTER
That was Police Commissioner Jacobs who just arrived on the scene here...

ANGEL FACE
She's hot.

NOW WE SEE THE BUILDING: A GIANT, GRINNING FACE PAINTED on it -- TWO BROKEN WINDOWS for EYES, with flames pouring out...FIRE TRUCKS spray water.

They all BURST INTO LAUGHTER. 

JACK
Holy shit! What the fuck did you guys do?

Silence. Then, they continue laughing.

BOB
Sir, the first rule of Project Mayhem is you do not ask questions, sir.

Jack turns, sees Tyler in the archway, watching him. Tyler pulls back out of sight.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT

A LUXURIOUS BANQUET. Commissioner Jacobs is also there. There's also a SPEAKER near him. Commissioner Jacobs is talking to another official.

COMMISSIONER JACOBS
(whispering)
I got to take a piss.

He rises and starts out of the room. Jack, in WAITER'S UNIFORM, looks apprehensively to OTHER WAITERS: BOB...STEPH...ANGEL FACE -- who all give each other a look. They start out of the room. Jack follows them.

INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Jacobs saunters down an empty hall. The "WAITERS" follow him. Jacobs stops to check his tie in a mirror. He pushes the door of the MEN'S BATHROOM -- FACE TO FACE WITH TYLER.

INT. MEN'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Tyler GRABS Commissioner Jacobs, pulling him into the bathroom. The OTHER "WAITERS" rush in. Jack stays back to keep the door shut. THE "WAITERS" slaps a piece of tape over Jacob's mouth. They hold Jacobs, pulling down his pants. Bob snaps a rubber band -- reaches to Jacob's crotch.

TYLER
Wrap it around the top of his hackie-sack, Bob.

BOB
Yeah, his balls are ice cold.

TYLER
Hi. You're going to call off  your "rigorous investigation", you're gonna publicly state that there is no underground group. Or -- there guys gonna take your balls. 

A "WAITER" produces a knife, moves it down to Jacob's testicles. Jacobs is bug-eyed. Jack, red-faced, keeps his distance.

JACOBS
(mouth tapped)
No...

TYLER
We'll send one to the New York Times and one to the Los Angeles Times. Press release style. Look. The people you're after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.

The "waiter" with the knife, makes a dramatic cut with the knife, causing Jacob to SCREAM with his mouth tapped. The "waiter" holds up the severed RUBBER BAND and he throws it to Jacob's face.

"WAITER"
Fooled ya!

EXT. HOTEL - LATER

Tyler, Jack and the others file quickly out the back SERVICE ENTRANCE. Tyler gives Angel Face a hearty slap on the back. Angel Face smiles at Tyler, nods, grinning. Jack sees this, his eyes narrowing, stops walking. Tyler talks with the other Space Monkeys but we can't hear what they're saying. Angel Face and half of them leave. The other half, including Tyler, Jack and Bob head to the other direction.

JACK (V.O.)
I Am Jack's Inflamed Sense of Rejection.

TYLER
(to Bob)
Bob, you're on this one.
(to Jack)
Hey!

INT. TAVERN  BASEMENT - NIGHT

Fight Club in full swing. Jack battles Angel Face, BEATING the shit out of him with unprecedented viciousness. The crowd shouts maniacally, save Tyler, who watches with an inscrutable stone face. Angel Face tries to speak but Jack POUNDS him too hard. Blood flies. The crowd begins to grow QUIETER. 

JACK (V.O.)
I felt like putting a bullet between in the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

Finally Angel Face lies still, unconscious. Jack stops, stares down, numb. Jack walks away -- the crowd parts to let him pass. Jack scans faces...finds Tyler. 

TYLER
Where'd you go Psycho Boy?

JACK
I felt like destroying something beautiful.

TYLER
(to the fight club members)
Get him to a fucking hospital.

Jack, Tyler and two fight clubbers go up.

EXT. LOU'S TAVERN - LATER

RAINING. Tyler and Jack and the other two guys, go out. A idling car HONKS. A bruised-faced VALET PARKER gets out of the car.

VALET
Don't worry Mr. Durden. Airport parking, long term.

JACK
(motions to car)
After you Mr. Durden...

TYLER
After you...

INT. STOLEN CAR - SAME

Tyler gets in the driver's seat. Jack gets into the front passenger seat. Steph and the mechanic are in the back.

EXT. STREET

Tyler pulls the stolen car away from the curb. It has two bumper stickers: "RECYCLE YOUR ANIMALS," and "MAKE MINE VEAL."


~ PART 1PART 2 ~ PART 3 ~ PART 4 ~

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