Moving: The TTC

I am a hick. I like to think of myself as a ‘city girl’; on par with Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha (well, maybe not Samantha). Flashy clothes, posh restaurants, cool jazz clubs and conversations about art are all of the things I associated with ‘city girls’, and when I moved to Toronto I thought I would morph into the next Carrie Bradshaw.

My shoes are not Prada. In fact, I think I bought them on sale at Wal-Mart 3 years ago. I do not go to posh places to eat, instead I opt for KD. I would rather watch Wrestling than go to a jazz club. I do have conversations about art though. They go something like this:

“Where am I going to hang my 6 foot poster of The Rock? It doesn’t go too well with the Buffalo Sabres poster.”

Alright, so this might be a slight exaggeration (The poster was 5 ½ feet). The point is, I am nowhere close to my idea of a ‘city girl’.

When I woke up on the Monday morning I was to start the new Toronto job, I was a little nervous – not at starting the new job, but rather getting to said job. I planned on driving to the GO station and taking the train into the city. On the drive there I was shaking somewhat. I was not used to driving in Toronto yet. Granted, North Toronto is no where near as bad as downtown Bay and King at rush hour, however compared to the dirt roads of country life, the North York road felt like the main transportation artery through a metropolis, as far as I was concerned. I obeyed every single traffic sign. I stayed within the speed limits. I was courteous to other drivers. This only got me in trouble with the other cars. I was honked at for stopping on a yellow light, given the finger for letting someone cut in front of me, and yelled at for driving 50 km/h in a 50 km/h zone. By the time I was seated on the GO train, I was exhausted and ready for bed.

After a few days of this hellish experience, I decided to take the TTC. The bus stops right outside of my apartment, so no driving would be required. On the first day of the TTC, I arrived at the bus stop a good 15 minutes before the bus was to arrive. I waited. And waited. And waited. I figured the bus had come very early, and therefore I missed it. It never crossed my mind that the bus was late. I assumed that a big city like Toronto had bus times down to a science. I mean, if the bus schedule says “7:17 am”, it HAS to be accurate. Otherwise, they would say 7:15 am. Also, I had just come from university, where classes began EXACTLY on time. Maybe other universities are more relaxed, but Waterloo was pretty stingy with the time thing.

When the bus finally did come, I climbed the steps, said “good morning” to the driver, and started to move to an empty seat. The bus driver grunted, started moving, and I went flying into some rather large lady with a rather large bag. She grunted, I apologized, and took my seat.

On a side note – what is it with women and massive purses? I was sporting a tiny little bag that held money, the security pass for my office, gum and lip gloss. What more does one need? I had learned my lesson with the apartment hunting experience, that you NEVER need all that junk that inevitably falls to the bottom of large purses. I had no need for 14 ketchup packs and trail mix! (Maybe the trail mix, as you will discover later on).

Anyway, I was also carrying a book, which I began to read. Until the rather large woman with the rather large purse began to fidget. I was elbowed. I was smushed. My book was knocked from my hands. I tried to remain pleasant, but at 7:22 in the morning on a packed jammed bus heading down a main transportation artery through a metropolis, passing by apartments that made my dingy pit look like the Taj Mahal, it was hard.

Then the rather large woman with the rather large purse got off the bus. Halleluiah! My arm regained feeling! Then a rather dirty man with a rather dirty smell took the seat. That was it, I would stand.

By the time I reached the subway station, I had been on the bus 40 minutes. I was getting hungry – I never go this long in the mornings without food. I had planned on grabbing some breakfast at work. I would starve to death at this rate of transportation speed.

I wish I had some trail mix.