THE SACRED BOOK OF JOE
The Chinese had Mao.  The Yankees had Yogi.  We have....JOE
Talking to you is like pulling teeth out of a stone.

It's right in front of my big eye.

I wasn't walking where I was going.

God strikes in mysterious ways.

When I've got big eyes, you know you're in trouble.

You are like a bull in a China store.

Take a short walk on a long pier.

Any time you'd like to change shoes with me, help yourself.

Put your head between your tail and leave.

Is that the one carton lot, those two cartons there/

A dog never forgets.

He's deaf, dumb and can't hear.

He was retarded and he had the hands to prove it.

It's better safe than sure.

Everybody washes everybody else's back.

I know her like a book.

What do you want, the cake and the icing too?

She built up our hopes and squashed it like a rat!

He's been spending that money like it's gone!

He follows in my shoes to a tee.

Let me rephrase your mind.

When it comes to him, I bite my teeth.

They're like dogs.  They all want their own pile.

Take the ball by the horns.

I don't know, but when I hear it, I know it by heart.

Leave the Jolly Lama alone.

The front of the house had no snow at all; maybe an inch.

The money is always in the pants that I found the week before.

Don't send a man to do a boy's job.

I wish I had tissues.  I'd stick them in my mouth and sound like the Godmother.

You'll starve to death if you eat that!

This one is not as unique as the other one.

We know he has a wooden leg.  The liquor goes right to it.

I am woman, hear me now!