A Herbivore Too Far:  The Collapse of the Rhino Rebellion
(Continued)
Early attempts to train the animals for battle were fraught with difficulty.  Rhinos are naturally docile, reclusive animals, and will not charge unless frightened or severely provoked.  When alarmed and on the defensive, they can reach speeds of 45 kph, but the problem was how to rouse them.  Morning drills were found to be the most successful, as by the heat of the afternoon the animals tended to wallow in muddy shallows and seemed to resent attempts to prod them from their lassitude.
It was not until the Irregulars adopted their Regimental colors, in Scots nationalistic Red and Gold with dress kilts and tartans, that the animals found their natural instincts to self-preservation aroused.  Unfortunately, the heated tempers caused by their reaction to the provocatively-colored tartans instigated many attacks of rhinos upon their riders, and the regiment was forced to adopt the more calming tones of ash and aubergine with which we are familiar.  Kilts were abandoned as excessively immodest during the difficult mount and dismount procedures, the Irregulars conforming to a then-fashionable pleated khaki trouser, while retaining the tartan sash.  (All except the mounted Regimental bagpipers, who still appeared in full regalia to perform the battle anthem, “Onward, Rhino Riders!”)
Tensions between the Boer states and the British government continued to mount, until by the late summer of 1899, conflict seemed inevitable.  President Steyn ordered his troops to the border in October and the war began, but although the border is less than 150 km from Bloemfontein, the Rhino Irregulars arrived months too late for the initial skirmishes.  They performed vital support tasks during the investing of Mafeking, however, such as hospital evacuation, though many of their passengers died before reaching medical attention.
By February 1900 Bloemfontein was occupied by British troops, and the cause of the Afrikaaners seemed lost.  Colonel MacDougal had succumbed to a bout of dysentery on the road to the frontier in November of the previous year, but Major General McNutt retired to the Veldt with the remnants of the Irregulars, to wage a guerilla war for almost two years which at its height in 1901 was supported by a large section of the population of Bloemfontein, Kroonstad, Jagersfontein and Wepener, and has gone down in history as the Rhino Rebellion.
British losses were heavy at first, and many officers who were not perspicacious enough to remain immobile when the Rhinos charged were often gored, trampled and horribly mutilated.  The Rhinos had found their inspiration for action in the famous Red Coats of the British Infantry, and having tasted blood, they wanted more.
The Rhino Rebellion may have been successful and assured the independence of the Orange Free State, but for the machinations of one Polly Protherhoe, mistress of Major General McNutt and, unbeknownst to him, grand-niece of the British Commander, Lord Roberts.
The  Mata Hari of her day, Protherhoe wheedled vital rhinoceros information from her besotted paramour, who has been universally condemned for his foolishness in thus fraternizing with the enemy.  (One perhaps apocryphal story of their meeting has Polly, serving with the Sisters of Mercy at a field hospital outside Mafeking whither McNutt had repaired for treatment of syphilis, provocatively inquiring, upon first glance, whether that was a rhino horn under his kilt, or he was just happy to see her.)  Having determined that rhinos are virtually blind unless their quarry is moving, but have an excellent sense of smell, Protherhoe doused herself with a liberal quantity of rhino urine as olfactory camouflage and slipped past the rhino sentries at the encampment, determined to apprise her relative of these facts.
Before long, the Redcoats were practicing standing very still and had developed a rhino-urine-based aftershave for the enlisted men; officers preferred moderate dressings of dung.  The command to hold fire “until you see the humps of their horns” served the British well, and in the next subsequent engagement of the forces, in April 1901, the slaughter among the Rhino Irregulars was massive, and the hopes of the Rebellion dwindled.  A maligned and ostracized McNutt was found drowned in a mud wallow following the debacle, several unattended rhinos standing by, nostrils flaring.
Little more than a year later, in May of 1902, the Treaty of Vereeniging ended the Second Boer War, and brought a perfunctory end to the tale of the Rhino Irregulars, and their cause of freedom for the Orange Free State.
Rhino Irregulars, Children's Brigade, 1901