--Is this right?-- Miriam thinks as Rivers sits beside her and put his arm over her shoulder. –-I wonder why I’m doing this--
Miriam really wonders. Why she starts to cry uncontrollably… She even thinks why she is with Rivers right now. Right before the rehearsal today she’s still hoping Brian would kiss her, again. Yet she doesn’t want to see Rivers writing songs about her, seeing Rivers sad is really the last thing she wants with him.
“Mim, are you feeling better now?” Rivers asks.
Miriam nods and leans closely against his body. Rivers gives a light chuckle.
“What?” she asks softly with her slightly coarse throat from all the crying.
“I don’t know.”
“Why were you laughing then?” she says with in an even softer tone. She was tired.
“I felt like doing so.”
“Humph.”
“You’re so cute.” He lightly touches her chin.
“I thought I told you to come up with something newer, AND now, better.”
“I love you.” He holds her tightly and close to him, he doesn’t want to loose her.
She gets nervous, she feels scared; she knows that Rivers is waiting her to say it back.
“I…” Miriam looks up at Rivers, “Rivers, I can’t.”
The thought of Brian enters both of their minds.
“It’s Brian, isn’t it?”
“No, Rivers.”
“Then what is it?” Rivers waits for answer, “TELL ME!!”
“I don’t know Rivers. And you don’t have to yell at me.” A tear falls down her cheek or maybe it is just Rivers’ spit. She stands up and leaves.
Rivers grabs her left wrist with all his strength as he stands up and turns her around to face him, grabbing her by her shoulders, “Tell me!”
“Let go, Rivers.” She pushes him back with all her strength but she wasn’t strong enough. “Let me go!! You’re fucking hurting me!!” She tears of real pain roll down her face.
He lets go of her as he sees her cry, with aches and pains in her eyes. He watches her helpless shadow disappears from the front door.
* * * * *
Miriam doesn't go home, she queitly walks to the back of Rivers' house, sits in front of the garage door, like she always does.
She thinks about how Rivers has always been there for her when she gets the blues. How every time they sit in front of this very garage door and talk about stuff, share secrets... It's the only place where Miriam can cry without feeling uncomfortable.
She traces the flying w with her fingers on the concret floor. She still remembers the first time Rivers showed her that van halen inspired design, in the garage. She leans her head onto the dorr of the garage, feeling the memories of the past - the posters on the garage door, the sheets of music scattered on the floor.
* * * * *
Rivers walks into the garage from the house, knowing that Miriam is just on the other side of the garage. He looks around numbly, seeing the times they have spents together in front of his own eyes. He lets out a sigh, and walks back into the house.
it's just the thought of you in love with someone else,
it breaks my heart to see you hanging from your shelf.
oh girl and i'm in love with you,
keep fishin' if you feel it's true...
Ch. 12