Anyway we got to the Uptown at around six, an hour before doors opened and I made some comment to Ann about how there were only four people out front but it would multiply after we got there and so we got out of the Gurgi driven car and ran across the street all so very Every picture tells a story/Almost Famous/William and Penny and we got there and after five minutes we asked the ticket person or Ann asked where we were to stand and we were shown and we stood and all of a sudden a multitude of people showed up including a few Kate wannabes in pleather and little long sleeved shirts and The male equivelant to Sapphire in reddish-pink tinted wraparound shades and cowboy hat and The guy in the Grateful Dead hockey sweater...so anyway we were next to this braggy guy who kept going on about concerts in the 70's I doubt he was speaking from experience, but he and ann did have that whole dates thing I am not really sure what this was about I was ignoring everything he said even to Ann because he drove me nuts cause he was eavesdropping in on Ann and my conversation...it was so annoying but then the security lady came out and told us to form two lines one male and one female (there were no queer lines) so we got in front and this lady from a rock station in KC was behind me and she asked me questions and I answered warmly, so then the cool security guard came back out and told us what we could and could not have and at some point one of the soulsinging tampons came by the door but then a big group of securtiy came out and started doing pat downs and I was scared my duck whistle was going to be confiscated so the nice security lady told use we could smoke and if we had pot to share and the patting down security lady asked me what my purse was my answer::"a purse" so we were patted down and the door opened and Ann grabbed my hand screamed "come on honey" and form that point till me landed in front of the stage all I remember is screaming "you're going to kill me before I get to see the Crowes for the third time!"
Ann:The 'annoying' guy, who looked like a not so buff, not so short, not so Roger Daltrey, was the one who said the things about dates, because he asked if we were going to be front and center, and I said oh yes, so he said that made us their dates for the evening. But enough of that.
We got inside (and we were the first through the door, the FIRST tickets taken) and I did grab her and we did go running right down the hall and into the theater proper and THERE was this huge EMPTY auditorium! and no one in front of the stage at ALL!! SO we ran down the aisle and slammed up against the fencelike thing one on either side of Chris's microphone area, me towards the Rich side, Jo toward the Audley side (and later to be proved as the Andy Hess side). Then our selfproclaimed dates showed up, but they had been lying and were much more interested in the Radio Personality ("Sexy Weather on 98.9") who was standing near them, so we were left pleasantly alone. And the lines started forming BEHIND us, because we were front and center.
Jo's mother says the Uptown used to be a movie theater and has always looked like it looks now, which is sort of a gypsy interior (gold, blue, green, lots of designs) and nymphs and harps on the frescoes, and four naked statues all of which looked like Shakespeare Dave Bonvillian Plant in different Robert like poses, the best of which appeared to be holding a child on one shoulder and a CD at the other arms length as much as to say CD's are evil. The stage was crowded with a lot of equipment and we were very concerned about Chris's dancing space, but most of it was the opening bands equipment. The opening band was Beechwood Sparks, easily the best opening band I've seen besides the TARBOX RAMBLERS. Their thing was looking like Stillwater (the guitarist/vocalist REALLY looked like Leroy with straight hair) and there was a Jeff Bebe lookalike and two guys who resembled both Neil Young and the Stillwater bass player and a drummer, who did NOT resemble Silent Ed, but that's okay. Their MUSICAL thing was psychedelic country rock which was so cool that their set seemed very short (actually it was short). Partway into the set, I glimpsed a beaklike nose surrounded by dark hair hovering at the door that opened onto the stage. "I see Ed!" I exclaimed, and pointed for JO's benefit, and then we felt very sad because we were going to have to tell Becky J. we saw Ed from very close quarters watching Beechwood, but then the beak shook its head and we realised as one that it was not Ed, but Chris, so we were not so sad. Chris hovered for a while, but he was as JO says milking attention and presently disappeared (people had looked when I pointed).
After Beechwood left, which was much too soon, they took all their equipment away, and some roadies came out and began to set up for the Crowes. Oddly enough all the Crowes roadies look like Rastafarian Hobbits, and must be on loan or perhaps another gift from their overgenerous Uncle Bob. The Hobbits put down a large fuzzy white carpet that looked like something Kate would wear around the house and arranged Steve's drums with the Lions head, and taped large bunches of burning Nag Champa to the speakers, and then after a while they lowered the lights, and the CROWES CAME ON. Chris, Rich, Ed, Audley, Steve, and Andy Hess (who might as well be Becky P.), their new bass player.
Now there really are no words that can explain being front and center at the Crowes, which would undoubtedly be the case at any special band. It was very loud, duh. Also the Crowes are human sized instead of being little colourful moving dots, and Chris Robinson's dancing is much much more hilarious even than before, not to mention all wonderful band interaction. Here is what they all looked like: Chris: Oasis shirt, as JO says, obviously has not been removed since May, jeans, assorted hilarious necklaces, and no shoes. Has a new short shag hair cut and a nice, non Jesus beard. Rich: World's most elaborate ethnic Western Buddy, goldentan silk with amazing fabric on the 'western' part all embroidered and dazzling, jeans, and coordinated jewelry (figures). Audley: aNOTHER amazing Western Buddy, black with gold 'western' part, white pants resembling Andrew's disco pants. Steve: black shirt, jeans, sandals. Very Steve. Andy: nice silverygreyblack pants, plushy deep purple velvet shirt, coordinated shiny black necklace, and happens to have Becky P.'s hair, only browner. and last listed but NOT LEAST, ED: wearing the world's most amazing Western Buddy ever, and it was huge on him too, if you can imagine, basically he was a walking AMERICAN FLAG- the stripes went up and down and the western part was the stars. He has not had a hair cut.
Chris greeted everyone and they slammed right into Midnight From The Inside Out, which of course we had seen them do before but not from right beneath it. Comments on set list as follows-and these aren't always direct CHris quotes, they're sort of recreations with the main elements there-
Midnight From The Inside Out
Sting Me
Go Faster
At some point he said that one of the songs was a true story, but I forget which, at some point Rich and AUdley had this frighteningly Andrew and LeRoy jam session right there, Chris spent a lot of time wiggling his ass in Steve's face or talking to Steve when they were jamming, Chris had a great call and response moment with the two soul singin' backups who are obviously Michelle and Allison, and he also spent quality time with Andy. Not to mention he nearly gave Audley the mallows onstage, but he just gave him a cute mischivious look and shuffled away instead. Rich didnt' say anything, but he did smile a lot more than usual, and there was only one moment when he clearly decided to draw out a jam session when Chris was ready to do something else. He also kept giving Jo and I 'get those obnoxious girls out' looks, or that is Jo's interpretation, but we were not worried, because Chris had made eye contact with us and was copying our dance moves in addition to his own wide spectrum of movement. ("Supermodel shaman!"-Jo) Chris threw his harmonica into the crowd, and it glanced my fingers but the stronger, bigger, fatter taller people behind me got it away, and even though Jo saw it fall and took a dive under legs and around shoes, we couldn't find it at all. It seemed to have become a cigarette lighter. Ed and Steve both had very amazing solos. Chris also said something about people in your life telling you what to do and what music to write, but I forget in what context.
Jo and I both had a fair amount of dancing space, which was very important although we have both incurred bruises where the fence impeded us. The pot haze was VISIBLE, it was, as JO said, like a cloud rising. We did not get hold of any, but that was okay, we were fine and high on the music. There is nothing more stupendously awesome, that's all I can say, than having NOTHING in your range of vision to block the group onstage. It feels just like it OUGHT to be- you, and the music, only the music is LIVE. Not to mention eye contact, which can't be sold on ebay like a harmonica, but who would?
After the 'this will never end' encore, we were forced to finally leave our perch on the rail by the security guards, who had been for the most part really really nice, and we shuffled out slowly with our ears ringing as badly as at Plant if not worse (there was NO buffer between us and the speakers, just like Leroy being so tall he had no buffer), and we sounded like chipmunks and ducks and we drifted out onto the street and saw a limo and smiled into it in case it was anyone, even Rich. Then we crossed the street and were accosted by an Unfortunate Incident- a woman approached us and asked for money and her story was convoluted but extremely tragic and in short, we decided we'd rather give her the money and have it NOT be true. We took her over to the diner across the street to get change, and we got it, and talked to her and pretended we could hear her but our ears were still ringing. After she left we decided to get a drink but the server guy ignored us. Two guys at the counter introduced themselves, their names were David and the other one I dont' rmember and they were very smiley and friendly. It had been their first Crowes concert and they had been in the back where the weed flowed free, and we talked about our different concert experiences, although as JO pointed out every other word of what they said was missing due to ringing, and they invited us to come with them down to the Have a Nice Day but we did not go, we called my dad and had him pick us up, and chatted with the nice guys til then. They were actually very pleasant and quite nice looking although a bit short of hair for Crowes fans, but maybe they will grow it now.
We did not see any indentifiable little Orientals, and only one blonde short thing ducked by once.
One day we too will be Rastafarian Hobbits.