Deirdre


Deirdre stares blankly at her notebook. She desperately tries to look as Tommy, smiling like him and such, but it is to no avail. "Why can I not do it?!" She screams. "All I want to do is be like Tommy. He is so happy and free from all that surrounds him."

She looks around the room at all of the things in it that should bring her joy. "If I was incapacitated like Tommy, maybe then I could understand. She reaches for her old beat up knapsack which lies in a heap on the floor, she pulls out a black and tan scarf and holds it close to her face. "This will have to do" she says as she tied the scarf around her eyes and pulls it down so it is also over her ears. She takes the ends of the scarf and shoves them into her mouth. She is completely disabled. She gets up off of her bed and stumbles through the horribly messy room. She turns to face her bed and starts to rummage through the things on it. She takes each item out of her knapsack. She comes to the letter that Tommy gave her. She strokes it and when she realizes what it is she holds it close to her and stands very still. With more important things on her mind she stops and starts going through the sack again. Next, she comes to the rings that Kevin gave her. She throws them one by one as far away from her as possible. One smashes through the window, but she has no idea. She then finds her shoes and with a little difficulty, she finally gets them on her feet and tied.

She walks around the room desperately trying to find the door. As she stumbles around she feels her way around and finds the mirror. She stares into it for a very long time. She can seethe sky bright and bright and cloudless and hear the birds in the trees, chirping. She can feel the cool wind on her face. A man stands in the grass and motions for her to join him. His golden cape shines in the sun. She runs to the man and embraces him. He walks her around a beautiful meadow, she can see and hear everything around her. Everything that her cynical blindness and deafness hides from her. She and the man whose silver grey beard flows in the wind, run in the wind hand in hand and fall tumbling over each other in a heap. She sees a plane over head and the man points it out to her. She stares at the bright military markings on the plane but does not understand. The bearded man stands to his feet and in a moment has vanished. Deirdre looks around but all is dark again. She feels in front of her and there is the mirror. She begins to stumble around again and finally she finds the door. She fumbles with the knob and finally gets it open.

She clumsily walks down the hallway and hits into another door, she opens it and walks around the new room. She trips over many things and finally stumbles to another area of the room. As she takes another step, the ground shrinks from the reach of her foot and she falls down a very long ways and lands. She gets up and shakes herself off. She begins to search around the room. She feels something cold like glass but not a mirror. There are ornate etchings on it, and a big metal handle protrudes. She pushes it and falls on the sidewalk beneath the giant glass door. She walks until she can sense that there is no more sidewalk. She gets on her knees and feels the ground. The dirt is cool and somewhat wet. She gets some on her finger. She smells it and smears the clean mud all over her face. She smells the grass and then stands up looking everywhere in her blindness for the man with the beard. He is nowhere. She starts to run like the wind. The breeze slaps at her face and plays with her hair. She runs and runs and cannot bring herself to stop. Then, she feels something above her foot and falls to the ground.

With that she wakes up on the floor, the knapsack is in its rightful place, as is the scarf. She can see and hear again. She ponders to herself what it all could mean as she puts on her hat and walks out the door.


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