Tales from the Welgon Age: Synopsis
The Dictator Introduces General Kwar the Dictator tells how he establishes a Democracy and how he has to flee his country as a consequence since he is a dictator.
The Mad Scientist Introduces Dr. Qworm the Mad Scientist (Dr. stands for his first name Dreitos, as he isn't actually a Doctor) tells of his tentative to experience and describe consciousness without any of the five senses, which turns out to be the last experiment of his earthly life.
cookie Introduces cookie the harlequin, a kind moron with supernatural mental powers tells of his most straightforward way of answering a school assignment by not taking into account that he is.
Welcome to the Welgon Age These four characters meet in the Welgon Age, a minuscule imaginary place where all they can do is think and talk. Welcome to the Welgon age is a game in which the reader tries to reach the central paragraph of the story by following any of the Welgon Age's four characters. All paragraphs are numbered, and at the end of every paragraph, the reader has to take a decision that will lead him to the next one. Small philosophical points are made on the way to the goal, and the very fact that the reader has to cheat to reach the final goal (he is explicitly told to do so) opens the question of what morality is in philosophy.
Ultimate Power A contest between the Welgon Age's characters about who is most powerful triggers some heated arguments about the characteristics of time, and ends with an unexpected winner.
The Substance The different aspects of the drugs question. Dr. Qworm entices cookie to try a "mind-enhancing" substance he just produced. General Kwar jumps in and argues that the only mind-enhancing stuff there is, is learning and discovering by thinking, and that substances such as those produced by Dr. Qworm are debilitating and enhance absolutely nothing. While Dr. Qworm argues about the necessity to try things out and Kwar counters by pointing out the uselessness of trying something out that has already been tried out by someone else, cookie eats the substance and it turns out to be only sugar.
Pseudo-Pacifist Propaganda Parables Conventional against nuclear weaponry, and the senselessness of it all.
Outdated Sarkon tries to publish a forgotten book he found in a very old trunk, but all editors turn it down because the writing is not good enough and the stories it contains are too unbelievable. This book turns out to be the Holy Bible.
Psycho Worship cookie suspects that he is someone else's creation, and wonders if he has to worship this "someone else". Sarkon soothes his fears first by demonstrating the nonsense both of wanting to worship and of wanting to be worshiped, then by showing that if any worship takes place, it is creators worshiping their creations, and not the other way round, and that even if sometimes creations believe they worship their creator, they still are creators worshiping their creation. When cookie expresses his fears that this creator might control all his moves and actions, Sarkon points out that even if everyone in the Welgon Age were someone else's creation, they would make him act just as much as he would make them act and cookie is relieved at last.
The Speed of Stone In a sudden fit of depression, Sarkon wonders if everything we do is the logical result of our genes and of all we did and experienced before. This makes him doubt the very existence of free will. After seeing Dr. Qworm trying to measure the speed of stone however, he realizes that the best proof for the existence of free will is stupidity, and he ends quite relieved that such non-logical behavior exists.
The Emperor's Old Clothes In spite of the failure of all his attempts at measuring the speed of stone, Dr. Qworm has become utterly convinced that this speed exists anyway, and spends all his time thinking about this. Sarkon and Kwar do not understand why Dr. Qworm wastes his time with such an irrational belief, and wonder why irrational beliefs are adopted at all. Kwar proposes they find a way to make Dr. Qworm abandon his belief, but Sarkon thinks they should tolerate it. After Kwar points out, however, what Dr. Qworm's belief would inflict to himself and to his descendants, how it would prevent them to change and thus to progress, and how it would inevitably lead to their being technologically and economically dominated by people who not only accepted but also created change, Sarkon agrees something has to be done. After they both rule out violence and coercion and do not really know what to do, cookie comes along and laughs at Dr. Qworm's nth attempt to measure this elusive speed of stone. The Mad Scientist gets angry at first, but has no argument against cookie's candid giggles and finally throws his stone away. Kwar and Sarkon are relieved, and Sarkon ends wondering how, for so long, so many people could see the most unbelievable clothes on an emperor who had obviously been stark naked all the way.
The Vanishing Point During a Glass Bead Game with cookie, Sarkon asks him what he would do if he could do anything he wanted. The answer cookie gives leaves him baffled, because it tells the very reason for his existence. The most logical answer to the "Why am I?" question to date.
Living on Lies and Logic General Kwar demonstrates to Sarkon the futility of trying to explain the universe, pointing out that humanity has always been wrong on the subject, from the times we believed the earth was flat to the times we believed Newtonian physics was all there was, and that there is absolutely no reason it is different nowadays, since so many things remain unexplained, and that consequently we believe in a lie nowadays just as we did centuries ago. He concludes that when starting from a lie one cannot discover the truth, just another lie that explains things a little better. This leaves Sarkon, whose quest for truth is his biggest joy in life, utterly dejected, but when Dr. Qworm demonstrates the futility of a universe with no lie at all in which everything is already explained, Sarkon joyfully starts thinking again.
The Vital Greed General Kwar is depressed. Sarkon, cookie and Dr. Qworm find out why, and heal him in a very surprising way. An analysis of the reasons for depression.
The Center of the Universe A dispute between Sarkon and General Kwar about how egocentric one should be leads to the identification of the center of the universe. Sarkon is amazed and even afraid about the implications, but cookie quickly reassures him, giving him a new reason for living on top of it.
An Unexpected Visit Sophie Amundsen and Alberto Knox, two characters from Sophie's World, visit the Welgon Age. They have tea with Sarkon, Dr. Qworm, General Kwar and cookie, and tell about how they freed themselves from a dictatorial mind and about their philosophical travels through time and spirits. Sarkon complains how difficult it is to truly think freely, and defines the limits of freedom of thought. He also points out that total freedom of thought can be attained, but that it cannot make sense then, and he shows a Cy Twombly drawing to make his point. Sophie and Alberto then thank the Welgon Agers for their thoughtfulness (in the truest sense of the word), and after a last hug to cookie from Sophie, they leave to visit other worlds.
The Final Prophecy Dr. Qworm is distressed by news that the expansion of the universe is going faster and faster instead of slowing down, meaning that there won't be any new beginning in the form of a new Big Bang, and that humanity is thus doomed. Sarkon reassures him by explaining that this doesn't mean that a new beginning can't happen in another way, and that if no force in nature provides a new Big Bang, then humanity still has 20 billion years to find out how to engineer one by other means. Dr. Qworm laughs at Sarkon, remarking that he just came up with the most grandiose delusion anybody has ever thought of: Big Bang engineering. But Sarkon stands firm in his belief that Big Bang engineering is the ultimate and last thing science and philosophy will ever make possible, and sets the timeline for this accomplishment to 20 billion years in the future.
A Short Work Schedule Dr. Qworm complains that he has too much to do. Sarkon tries to help him by suggesting that they draft up a short working schedule. Beginning with the laundry they have to do (and on the way solving the mystery from where cookie gets his clean socks), they end up with a schedule that includes restoring the ozone layer, saving the whales, mastering interstellar and intergalactic travel, and engineering a new Big Bang. Seeing they have work for about 100 billion years, they decide to start with the laundry as soon as possible so that they don't fall behind schedule.
Universal Relativity A poem about being.
The Unfinished Religion A summary of the philosophical points raised in the previous tales, an encouragement to pursue philosophy, and a nostalgic goodbye.