This is an article written by a woman I met in the Yukon. Unfortunately I lost contact with her. Shirley, I hope you stumble upon this page.
I thought it should be published somewhere so others could share it. So, here it is. Shirley, keep up the battle there!

An old humourous story (unfortunately I don't remember the author)

PMS-Period Media Syndrome
Few and far between are the times I can watch an entire TV program without being insulted by a barrage of tasteless “feminine” commercials. Their existence alone implies that not only are women ignorant of what goes on between their legs, but they must also be constantly instructed on how to deal with it. And to add insult to injury, these commercials insinuate that what we use to cope with our monthly needs will determine the degree of success we will achieve in our careers. This was demonstrated in a commercial in which an attractive female lawyer paced the courtroom while trying to make a point - other than the fact that she uses Tampax Tampons. You know, I once had a very good lawyer myself but I seriously doubt that he would have use tampons to boost his career. Furthermore, if I could sue these companies for some form of slander or abuse, I’m sure they would hire a battalion of female lawyers stuffed to the hilt with tampons and the jury would find me guilty!

Some time ago, there was another “executive” commercial. It began with a woman walking through a busy reception area to her own office where she triumphantly exclaims (to no one in the room) “the results are in and Stay Free Maxi Pads won!”

1. What did they win?
2. How come I didn’t know about this contest?
3. How do you enter?
4. What was the second prize?
5. How were the maxi pads judged?
6. By whom?

The woman in the commercial walks to work carrying an attaché case in one hand and files in the other with a box of maxi pads on top. Did she walk to work like this? Why all the hoopla about discreet packaging when this broad walks around with a whole box of them? Talk about advertising!

With the equation “success = maxi pads” in mind, I recall another commercial in which a woman carrying a crystal award enters an outrageously expensive home in time to receive a congratulatory call from a male competitor. She ends the call by telling him that maybe next year will be his turn to win. She smiles knowing he probably won’t win because he doesn’t know about the success equation.

Today’s commercials surreptitiously expound modern, independent women of the nineties while really portraying a bunch of bozos who can’t think beyond their crotches. We now fly on clouds of ecstasy since “Always Plus” has grown wings! And now there are some many wonderful applicators, it’s hard to decide which tampons to choose next - the cardboard one, the stain one, the gentle glide applicator (phallic), or the one with gently rounded tip (very phallic).

So that now we have inserted our tampons, put wings on our panties, and stuck on a liner to boot, we can pull them all out because, now it’s douche time! The makers of Massengill tell us that due to our horrific hygienic problems, we still feel unclean immediately after a shower. They have come to our rescue by creating a line of fragrant douches. For those who like to eat out, there is always the enchanting musk fragrance; and, for those whose “privates” offer a strong resistance to social refinement, there is always the old stand-by --vinegar and water. And guess what? A whole new array of flexible applicators! For in between douche touch-ups, there is FDS - Fer de Snatch - probably available in a handy purse size. Just try to avoid freshening up at the supermarket check-out.

Today’s researchers have also informed us that we feel abnormal before our periods. So ignore all external stimuli and accept the fact that you suffer from PMS. Go to the drugstore and get some pills to add to the growing collection of feminine articles in your purse. While you’re at the store, pick up one (or many depending on your sexual activities) home pregnancy tests which will tell you to check with your doctor anyway. Oops... wait a minute! You can’t go to the doctor with all those unsightly hairs sticking out of your bikini briefs in spite of the fact that you will be taking them off anyhow. Don’t leave the store without some Bikini Bare. Go home, turn on the TV, and wait for further instructions.

Modern technology has also discovered that everyday soap and water isn’t good enough for washing our privates. We need Summer’s Eve Liquid Wash -nicer way of saying snatch soap. The same manufacturers have also developed a Summer’s Eve Spray Wash to take along with you - either to appease your well developed obsession with cleanliness or to give FDS some competition. Even standard toilet paper is inadequate as there are now special towelettes to wipe yourself with. Perhaps you could also buy some prescription strength medication for the latest feminine fiasco - the dreaded yeast infection! Guess what ladies? Back to the drugstore.

On the brighter side, these commercials must certainly provide interesting, unskilled employment to those who would spend their time wetting maxi pads, blowing baby powder off them, or practising calligraphy while writing Always across a maxi pad with an eye dropper. For the more technically skilled would be the intricate job of placing a micro camera in some woman’s crotch to record the devious movements of panty liners that do the Twist, the Wave, and the Accordion. How utterly creative! On the darker side, the manufacturers get a legitimate advertising tax write-off for making women look like menstrual morons.

So now that we have traded in our purses for suitcases, and spent most of the day testing and touching, any orgasms to report? Anyone had time to report to work? No? Well, so much for successful career and Emmy Awards. And just where is this obsession with periods, pills, panties, pads, pregnancy, and PMS? In the minds of today’s women, or are some manufacturers terrified that we foolish females may forget all about menstruation.

I find all this chemical crotchware threatening. Are female genitals strong enough to take all this? Shouldn’t we get a warranty before trying this crap? Can worn out parts be replaced? Would it be cheaper to have our sex organs removed?

And where are our liberated, independent women of the nineties - buried under a mountain of maxi pads? I have yet to hear one public objection to these cheap, degrading commercials that give us all a periodic pain the ass. Do I sound pissed off? Yet bet your douche bag I am ......... In the meantime, I think I’ll put on my straitjacket with stay dry lining, go into a maxi padded room, and wait for menopause.



Wayside Chapel
Background

An Englishwoman, while visiting Switzerland was looking for a room. She asked the schoolmaster if he could remember one, and he took her to see several rooms and when everything was settled, she returned home to make final preparations for her move.

The thought suddenly occurred to her; however, that she had not seen a water closet (toilet)in any of the rooms. She immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking if there was a W.C.

The schoolmaster’s command of English was very poor. He consequently asked the parish priest to help him understand the letter, especially in regard to the W.C.

Together, they tried to interpret the meaning of the initials, and finally decided that she meant “wayside Chapel.” The following letter was received by the Englishwoman.

Dear Madam:

I take great pleasure in informing you that there is a W.C. about nine miles from the house in the centre of a beautiful grove of pine trees, and an extensive lawn. It can hold 229 people and is open Thursday and Sundays only.

As a great many people are expected during the summer months, I suggest that you come early although there is plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation particularly if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good many bring their lunch, and make a day of it while others, who cannot afford a car arrive just in time.

I would especially advise your ladyship to go on Thursday when there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the W.C., and met her husband there. I can remember the rush that there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat usually occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces.

The latest attraction is a bell donated by a wealthy resident which rings whenever a person enters.

My wife is rather delicate, and cannot go regularly. It is almost a year since she went last. Naturally, it pains her very much not to be able to go more often.

I should be delighted to reserve the best seat for you if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For children there is special time, so that they will not disturb their elders.

I remain, yours, et cetera