Don't lie. Call when you are going to be late, it is only considerate.
If a guys night out is going to be fun, invite the girls. If you wanna go out with just the guys, that's no problem, just be honest about it.
Don't expect her to clean up after your buddies have been over, AND, stop expecting her to pickup after you.
The correct answer to Do I look fat is always no. Ditto for is she prettier than me.
Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
Being attentive is good. Following her around is bad, it's called stalking.
Talking is good. Shouting, yelling and screaming is very, very naughty and disrespectful. Keep your insults to yourself. If you must scream, do it elsewhere.
If you don't want another mother, don't act like a child. And, she is NOT the maid.
None of your ex-girlfriends (or ex-wives) were ever nicer, smarter, prettier, or better people.
Her cooking is her cooking. It may not be the best. That isn't an excuse for you to totally avoid cooking.
If you live with her or are married to her, the below also apply:
You are a capable adult. Don't feign incompetence around the house as some feeble attempt to get her to do it for you.
The dirty laundry does not get washed, dried, folded, ironed and put away by itself. You may not produce as much dirty laundry as she does, but, DON'T expect her to do it all. The thing the dirty laundry goes into is called a hamper, please use it.
Two words: clean socks. Two MORE words: clean underwear.
Notice when the floor crunches beneath your feet. A broom or vacuum will fix that.
Dirty dishes are brought to the sink for washing. Dish soap is your friend, it cleans up the dirt from under your fingernails.
Learn to clean in and around the toilet, especially since YOU are the one who misses. The toilet seat is suppose to be put down after you put it up to pee.
Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap and warm does not equal clean.
Five o'clock stubble and deodorant failure has all the erotic qualities of sandpaper.
Buying dinner does not equal foreplay.
Believe it or not, you're probably NOT more attractive when you're .. ya know. You ARE more attractive when you are clean and act respectful, appreciative, kind and loving.
Burping is not sexy . Farting ceases to by funny after 7th grade.
Making excuses for acting like a jerk is bad. She sees does not accept your justifications. Learning how to admit you were wrong and/or not nice AND apologize, is good. Stopping that behavior may ensue forgiveness.
Supportive is good; Patronizing is bad.
Women remember insults FOREVER. It's simple, just don't say them and if you do admit it, apologize AND stop doing it.
She is NOT sensitive. If she didn't love you or care, you would NOT affect her self-esteem, sense of security the way you do.
You need your own hobbies and so does she. You are NOT her entire life.
Don't assume PMS is the cause of every bad mood. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
No means no.Yes means yes. Don't have a temper tantrum and say and/or do horrible things if the answer is no.
Silence means anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it can change without notice.
But, we kiss .... is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your lips and tongue.
Basic courtesy and respect for feminism is NOT mutually exclusive.
If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
Always suck up to her brother. Remember that her brother IS the guy who was there before you and will always be there, in one way or another, no matter what.
Her best friend is someone who will ALWAYS be around, no matter what you so say or do. You wil never understand the relationship, just accept the fact.
Remember Valentine's Day and any other cheesy anniversary she so names. Some of those anniversaries (good or bad) were turning points in her life, so at least respect and acknowledge them gracefully and with tact.
Don't let your friends pick on her, if you want her to respect YOU and YOUR friends.
Don't EVER take her for granted. You reap what you sow. Appreciate her, and SINCERELY tell her so. It you have stopped saying awful things, she will probably accept the compliments.
Don't try to change the way she dresses. Just because she's lookin' sexy, it does not mean you can assume she's wanting to be intimate with you or is intimate with someone else.
Keep your glances at other women to yourself. She does not want to hear about other women's specific body parts. She is not a guy buddy, she is a lady.
Really, she does notice that your mind is elsewhere and wonders what do you want her for ... a substitute for who you really want?
Finally, the guidelines are never fair. Accept this without question. If she is your girlfriend, she's trying to understand someone from Mars. If she's your wife, she's trying to be fair in love & war. If you have a child with her, the fact that she went through pregnancy, labor and childbirth is something you will never understand or comprehend.
~Wendell Olsen~
