![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||
CHAPTER NINE - REWORKING MAGIC | |||||||
Those last three blocks seemed to not even have been there once Sarah wished she were home already. Upstairs, she was pleased to see that Christian wasn’t at the apartment. Probably gone drinking with his brother again. A flick of the wrist bolted her front door and she drew the chain, just in case Christian did return. Once Sarah felt secure, she drew the crystal from her pocket. It was a marvelous thing. Reflecting light and color like a prism, able to conform to its container so that even in her pocket it appeared as little more than a bump. Placing it in the center of what should have been a dining room, she moved to the bedroom doorway. Sarah felt foolish concentrating on the crystal sphere and just as she was about to make a wash of it, the thing crept toward her. It was a fascinating display as it rolled across the floor to her feet and then with a hop leapt into her open palm. The crystal began to spin. Sarah tried passing it over the backs of her hands and with little effort it was gliding along the contour of her arms. “Unbelievable,” she muttered as she caught the crystal, putting an end to its dance. ‘To think I was so impressed with the way the Goblin King moved these things around,’ she thought. Still not convinced that she possessed any of the magic that Jareth and Hoggle insisted she did, Sarah gently set the crystal down on the coffee table. It must have been the source of the magic she’d suddenly found. The damned thing had been in her pocket all day while those strange occurrences were going on. She pulled down a copy of Webster’s Dictionary from a bookshelf. Sarah set it on the arm of an overstuffed high back chair she kept nearby. It was a great chair for curling up to read, plus it got light all day from either the sun or a streetlight positioned right outside the window. She concentrated on the book the same way she had with the crystal. Not a budge. Didn’t matter that she focused until her head hurt, not one inch. “Huh?” Sarah said scratching her head. “Maybe I should check the book?” Fast feet took her into the bedroom, where eager fingers rummaged through her drawer. On her way back to the living room, she snatched Christian’s watch off the dresser. It could have been that she just needed to start with something smaller. “Typical Christian,” she muttered holding the band to the book with her thumb and switching off the light with her empty hand, “spend a fortune on something you want for one moment and then leave the thing lying around as if it serves no purpose to you any longer.” By the time she reached the couch, Sarah was nervous inside and out. She felt like she was doing something wrong, hiding something and Christian was suddenly all that was on her mind. Quickly she sat down, emptying her hand so that it could catch her dizzy head. There was nothing she’d done that should have put her on edge this way. It’s not like she stole Jareth’s magic. He’d given it to her. And Christian, well, it wasn’t that she lied to him. It was just that she told him only what he wanted to know and he wanted to know so little. Whatever it was overcoming her seemed to have passed. Sarah moved to get the book, her hand wrapped around the gold watch in an attempted to lift it out of her way. No sooner had her fingers encircled the time piece her head seared with pain as though it were about to split in two. With no further warning, images began to pass through her head like a slide show presentation. First she saw Christian walking into a jewelry store. He tried on a couple of watches that were outside the cases and available to the customers. When someone was finally free to assist him, he leaned on one of the counters and pointed down. Delicate hands lifted a watch out of the case and set it on the flat glass surface. There was no jewelry on the hands, which Sarah couldn’t help but find odd, working in a shop that sold so much of it. Sarah’s stomach started to fill with butterflies. The same feeling she’d gotten the night before when Jareth had pulled her to him and began letting down her hair. In her mind’s eye, she saw those delicate fingers working the latch that anchored the band around Christian’s wrist. Those were woman’s hands. She knew it, not by the look of them, for on the face they were indistinguishable, not particularly large or hairy, delicate, but not feminine, per say. It was the touch, the touch that made her tingle while she was in Christian’s point of view. The touch and the sudden overwhelming fragrance of roses in the air. Disgusted by the feelings she was having over a woman, Sarah threw the watch down. “What the hell was that all about?” her voice shook as she spoke to the floor. Knees still knocking, she forced herself to the kitchen for a glass of water. She sat on the stool where Jareth had sat. Pulling an ice cube out of her glass, her fingers slid it over the artery in her neck trying desperately to quench the heat her imagination was building there. Kisses had come and gone in her 30 years, not all of them had been passionate, but there were some that were very much so. Dare she say, there were some that had put that kiss between Jareth and her to shame, except for that wonderful sensation he left along her back when he had snaked over her spine with his tongue. That kind of magic was his alone. Or the strange feeling of those jagged teeth on her, but was it fair to give him credit for an aptitude that he’d acquired through no merit of his own? The glass of water in Sarah’s hand was empty as her lips searched for more of the cool liquid to wash away her recollections. “Best I just concentrate on this magic,” she supposed. Thumbing through the novel, lots of things stood out to her. Statements that started with I wish. Her friends reappearing when she needed them. The crystal that showed Sarah her dreams. Even the promises Jareth tried to make her about love and desires. It all added up to an assemblage of quotations that taught her nothing. ‘If only those things came with an instruction sheet,’ Sarah imagined looking at the crystal. “I must be overlooking something,” she proclaimed as she recited her list aloud hoping that the more senses she could involve the better chance she’d have of finding a clue. “Hoggle,” she whined, “I need you.” “What is it?” the dwarf asked sounding particularly annoyed. “I know Jareth’s back Hoggle.” “So.” “Hoggle please.” Sarah stared down at him, pleading with her eyes. “I’ve done something terrible.” If she was working at catching his attention, she had it. With new curiosity he studied her eyes. Genuine upset settled deep inside the emerald rings staring back at him. Perhaps it was best if he talked to her, Jareth wasn’t going to offer anything up, that was for damned sure. A sigh filled the room, “Whatever you’ve done, it can’t be as bad as all that.” Before he could shimmy onto the couch next to her, the tears were falling. “Why do women have to cry so much?” he grumbled. “I wished him back.” “You did what!?” That just made her cry harder. “Now, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. What I meant was..er...” “You meant it just as you said,” Sarah admitted between sobs. “He came to ask me to return his magic and I wished him back. He tried to tell me that I didn’t know what I was capable of, but I didn’t listen.” “Seems to me it can’t be that simple. Few things with Jareth are.” “It’s not!” she cried standing up to pace across the floor. “Hoggle, I can’t even remember how it all happened. It’s a blur. A hazy dream that I can’t wake up from.” Sarah’s eyes closed. “I went to my audition and the producer hired me on the spot. Then during a break I met this guy, his name was Tony something and he was auditioning for Marius and wanted to sing with me. He had an agent named Jeremy, only it wasn’t Jeremy, it was Jareth. He was arrogant and conniving and got Tony in there without even an appointment or something. I should have known then. Should have guessed it by the way he kissed my hand, but he looked so different.” “Tony?” “No Jareth,” Sarah confirmed opening her eyes. “He was in a suit and his hair was so much shorter, more coiffed. He didn’t even have any make up on.” She went to grab the grey herringbone jacket she’d left in the kitchen earlier that morning. “He threw it out!” Sarah rummaged through the apartment. “It was here, I pulled the crystal out of the pocket and set it back down on the...and then I went to rehearsal...and that sonofabitch threw it out while I was gone.” “Jareth?” “No Christian!” “Oh, you’re not making any sense,” Hoggle complained throwing his hands up in the air. Jareth was posing as an agent and Tony convinced him to put on a suit and cut his hair so he’d fit in more and not look so out of place. He left his suit coat here.” “How’d he get here?” “Followed me from the auditions I guess. I was so excited that I danced and sung the whole way home. I think a herd of wild elephants could have come up behind me and I wouldn’t have known.” It took a minute, but as she recounted the story for Hoggle, Sarah realized that Jareth would have had to follow her in order to find her apartment. “And he saw the whole thing. Jareth saw me acting like a fool on the way home. He must have thought I was such an idiot.” Hoggle muttered under his breath, “Not likely,” but Sarah didn’t hear him. “Jareth snuck up on me once we were inside the apartment. He asked if I knew him and I had to admit he was familiar, but he looked so ordinary, until I saw those eyes. I mean I should have realized sooner. The way he leaned back into the table, the cool and easy way he drew me to him. But I didn’t figure it out until I kissed him...” “Until you did what?” Hoggle interrupted. But the storyteller wasn’t paying attention anymore, “That’s when I knew. When my eyes were closed and it was just the feel of him.” “Stop it, stop it,” the dwarf snapped jumping down from the couch and standing at Sarah’s feet. “What’s with you always kissing people? Didn’t you learn anything from last time we ended up in the Bog of Eternal Stench?” His short legs made his feet stomp and his arms were stretched out waiting to catch his head. “Huh?” Sarah half broke from her recollection to take notice of her friend. “He started it,” she grinned. Hoggle made a noise with his throat and it was easy to assume that he was disgusted at the idea of Sarah being with Jareth in such a personal way. “Skip all the mushy stuff and get to where you wish him back.” The blush that kept returning made its appearance on her cheeks once again, “We were,” she watched as Hoggle’s eyes rolled, “preoccupied when Christian got home. He was furious when he saw Jareth. Thought he was the producer for the show and that I was earning my part.” More noises emerged from the dwarf, “Oh, I bet he did. Sarah, how could you be so irresponsible?” She looked at him in disbelief. Had he really just said that to her? “Listen, you weren’t there. You don’t understand how charming he can be. Hoggle, it was amazing, for the first time I understood all he tried to tell me in the Labyrinth. He tried to love me, in his own way, but he tried. I was too young to understand about those things, but now, well let’s just say that now the right words said the right way can all have a very powerful effect on a woman my age, especially when she’s not used to hearing them.” “Even when they’re said by a man who erased your memory?” Ironically, she’d forgotten that. “Even if he probably had some hidden agenda in mind?” “But they weren’t. I mean they were, but I swear he looked completely different and by the time I put two and two together I was already very taken with him.” For a minute she looked dreamily off into the air that separated her from Hoggle. Then as if a pin had popped a delicate soap bubble, her euphoria faded away, “Jareth did want something. The powers he had given me, he wanted them back. But he didn’t just come out and tell me that. Jareth tried to seduce me first. If Christian hadn’t come home, he’d probably have succeeded too.” Sarah did her best to sound angry. Believing only half of her disappoint was in the fact that Jareth tried and sensing that the rest was from his not having succeeded, Hoggle flatly accused Sarah of not making the Goblin King try all that hard. Her hurt eyes bore into him, “Never mind all that. What’s done is done and there’s no use arguin’ about it. What happened after Christian came home?” “He said awful, awful things.” “Jareth?” She shook her head wildly, “No, Christian. Jareth got between the two of us and Christian hit him. I went to see if Jareth was alright, but Christian tossed me aside and tore my dress. Then Jareth punched him a handful of times until he passed out.” “And you wished him home for sticking up for you?” “No, that’s when he told me the real reason he was here. I was hurt and confused. I knew I owed Christian an explanation. Part of me was feeling guilty about what I had allowed to happen with Jareth. So I asked him to leave. When he persisted, I wished him away to the Underground and told him to never contact me again.” “Eh,” the tiny sound came from her friend. Hoggle’s head buried into his palms. “That explains it,” he mumbled. “Explains what?” “Sarah, all those years ago, Jareth gave you fey magic.” Lifting his weary head so she could hear him more clearly, Hoggle continued, “What no one knew was that you had mortal magic of yer own. It’s part of what helped you defeat him when you were Underground. Jareth risked everything to come Aboveground. He had to wager his power over all mortals, forever. You sent him back to the Labyrinth with no power over mortals and you forbid him to ever see you again. You might as well have taken an iron blade to his heart. Now the king’s back home brooding over all that’s transpired and the Underground is continuing to wither as he withers.” Comprehension washed over Sarah’s face, “And it’s all my fault.” “No, no, no,” the dwarf paced, “it’s his own damn fault for not being honest with you. Never mind whose fault it is. I’ve got to live in the kingdom with him, you don’t” Sarah sat down again. Suddenly her knees felt weak and her legs made of rubber. “Would this be a bad time to tell you that there’s more to it?” “Yes,” Hoggle answered her honestly. “But tell me anyways.” Patting the spot next to her, Sarah indicated that he should rejoin her on the couch. “When Christian came to I was so pissed and he was being such an ass that I blurted out all the things I’ve felt for months. That’s when I found Jareth’s sport coat with the crystal and told him I’d sent the wrong man home.” Snorting, he told her, “Makes no difference. Even if you had 100 crystals you could never summon Jareth back.” “Never?” she asked apprehensively. “Never.” Regret stung Sarah like tiny needles all over her skin. She was numb. “What about my mortal magic? Can that bring him home?” “Jareth is home Sarah and you’d be smart to leave it that way.” “But I owe him an apology.” “What’s said is said.” Furious, she balled her hands into fists, “Why must you all talk that way? Apologies are made every day. Mistakes fixed. Scripts rewritten. Scenes redone. I can make this right.” Gently the dwarf took her hand into his own, “You’ve denied him twice now. You’ve had a taste for what he’s like, do you honestly believe he’ll let you get close enough to do it again?” Hoggle was right. Sarah knew it even if she didn’t want to admit it. “Then what good is magic, fey or mortal, if I can’t fix anything with it?” “That’s not always what magic does.” Resisting wasn’t an option. Hoggle knew that sooner or later, he’d have to explain Sarah’s magic to her. Now seemed just as good a time as any. “Sarah you were born with mortal magic, every mortal is. Thing is, most of ‘em stop believin’ in it before it even develops. You were different. You believed in mythicals and magic to begin with.” “What are mythicals?” Did he say she could ask questions? Oh, her friendship was frustrating, but she was who she was and to him it was worth it. “Mythicals are anything that mortals have trouble believin’ in. The creatures of the Underground and other kingdoms, other realms.” Clearing his throat he got the discussion back on track. “Because you believed and did so much to actively call your magic it never left, but you didn’t know how to develop the skill, so it was weak. I don’t completely understand mortal magic. I know each mortal can have a different kind, sometimes two or three kinds. Typically, a mortal will be labeled artistic. They can do something with their physical talent, sing, paint, write. Only they do it in a way that’s able to touch other people. But you see, it’s not art, it’s magic. You make people feel what you want ‘em to feel. Think, hear or see what you want. It’s a mortal’s need for control. There are other more unique magics. With mortals they’re less about disruptin’ the elements and more about manipulatin’ the physical. Your kind will move things about or touchin’ somethin’ will spark sight. You obviously had the more common form of mortal magic and then Jareth went and gave you fey magic. Fey magic is more about disruptin’ the elements, fabricatin’ crystals and changin’ their forms, glamours, wishes, reorderin’ time, changin’ the properties of the universe, creatin’ material...” “Destroying it,” Sarah interrupted. “Sometimes.” No sense in keeping the truth from her. “When you defeated him your mortal magic grew stronger. By then you’d started to deny yourself the fey magic and yer natural powers were stunted to the artistic ones I just described.” A heavy sigh escaped him, “Now that you and Jareth have shared souls...” “Oh no, it didn’t go that far.” Hoggle laughed at her naivety. “You kissed didn’t ya?” She nodded. “When fey kiss out of love Sarah, they exchange bits of their souls. You worry about what you would have lost if Jareth had completed his seduction, but the truth is that he stood to lose more than you. As it is, he’s given up so much of himself that it’s had a physical effect on the Labyrinth.” Sarah looked away, but the dwarf pressed on sure that she was too curious to be ignoring him. “Like I said, now that you hold a piece of his soul, your fey powers are heightened. Have you tried manipulatin’ the crystal?” “I rolled it around a little, got it to jump into my hand.” What did all this matter? How was it going to fix things between her and Jareth? “Good. I see you haven’t broken it, that’s good. It’s magic is tuned to you now and it’s heightenin’ your mortal magic.” The watch! Sarah reached out and grabbed the gold ornament. Squeezing it tightly in her palm the visions consumed her once again. There was that hand. “Hoggle, I can see Christian buying this watch,” she whispered. Jareth’s magic had sparked sight in Sarah after all. It had been a long time since a seer had been in the Underground, but Hoggle remembered some of the basics and he talked Sarah through what she was experiencing. “You must keep this all in perspective. What yer seeing is just an image. It can’t hurt you any. You control the situation. Look around, yer not limited to what it shows you.” The hand was touching Christian’s again. Sarah forced herself to look up the ambiguous appendage, up the narrow arm to the bared shoulder. “There’s a woman. She’s smiling at him.” Sarah turned her eyebrows as though she was listening very carefully. “You make that look very good,” the woman said. Christian was smiling back at her as he turned the watch over and over in the light. “Do you think?” “Um huh,” she purred. “And you’re in luck. We’re running a special today? Buy that watch and you can have all my spare time this Saturday.” Was she trying to be clever? Christian quickly handed her a wad of cash. “Well that explains where he was going!” Sarah cried as her vision seemed to fast forward. The rushing images made her fall back on the couch. “Hoggle?” she called out. “I’m here Sarah. Listen for my voice. I can’t touch you while you’re having a vision, but you should be able to hear me. I ain’t gonna leave you.” It was troubling him to see her this way and he felt so helpless. “Damn you Jareth,” he whispered. “Mr. Standyne,” she called to him from a table in the corner of a dark restaurant. He sat with her, “Call me Christian,” he instructed her as he joined her there. Images were moving about, speeding up and slowing down. Sarah wanted to let go of the watch, but the object in her hand seemed to sense her thoughts and shook violently with more to say. The couple was laughing and drinking. Innocent conversational touches grew to be something more and despite her clenched eyes, Sarah was seeing it all. The strange woman’s foot slid from her black heeled shoe and worked it’s way up his leg. Nestled in his crotch, her ankle rotated. Christian looked as though he were going to lose control of himself at the table. A cocktail of anger and disgust mixed in Sarah’s stomach. She watched her lover gingerly stand, toss a handful of bills to the table and guide the stranger from the restaurant under his protective arm to his vehicle. As he drove, the woman worked at his restrictive pieces of clothing, a tie, a belt. Then it was her shoes that came off. By the time they’d gotten to the parking lot of the hotel neither one had enough clothing remaining to approach the office. He didn’t suggest that they do it. Quite the contrary, he told her how beautiful she looked, how much she made him crazy. Then she persuaded him to the back seat where, in an act of blatant exhibitionism that was remarkably unlike Christian, the couple engaged in a variety of sexual acts; exchanging oral gratification with one another and culminating in unprotected intercourse. Sarah felt herself deflate. It had been years of her trying to get him to be more adventurous, wanting to please him but feeling as though she had never been given the opportunity and there he was satisfying himself with another woman without any concern for disease or pregnancy or the sanctity of what little relationship he had with his long-term girlfriend. They scurried for their clothes when they noticed a patrol car passing the parking lot. Christian drove her back to her car, jabbering the whole way. He went on about how this was very unlike him and she had been the first woman he had cheated with. Feelings of truthfulness came over Sarah and they were very strong. It pleased her to believe him because at least she knew that if he had brought anything home, he wouldn’t be giving it to her. The woman in the passenger seat smiled weakly as she got out of the car. “Can I give you a call?” Christian asked her. She obviously didn’t want any baggage. A good time was all she was searching for and all his heavy confessions had destroyed what chemistry had been between them because she shook her head side to side and blew him a kiss as her long legs swept over the concrete on the way back to her car. Having admitted everything it knew, the watch stilled in her palm and she set it back on the table. Tears were filling her eyes, but she refused to let them fall as she concentrated on the blue in Hoggle’s sympathetic stare. “He cheated on me.” “I figured as much from the look on your face.” Standing on the cushions, he reached out to stroke her hair. “He doesn’t deserve you Sarah.” After some time of her sitting, staring off silently he asked, “Do you understand your mortal magic now?” ‘Better than I want to,’ Sarah thought as the shock started to subside. “What can I do with the crystal?” “Are you sure you’re ready?” “What the hell do I have to lose?” Her body felt numb and she wondered why people were always saying the truth hurt. Right now, she couldn’t feel a thing. “It’s hard to explain, but I’ll try. Jareth offered you your dreams. He granted yer wishes. Wanted yer needs to be met. That’s why when you left you had to need us if we were to return to you.” As he spoke, Sarah had called the crystal to her and spun it mindlessly in her palm. “If you look in that thing you can see your dreams. If you wish for them they should come true.” Quickly, Sarah stared into the ball until she could see Jareth again, “I wish I had Jareth back!” she shouted. “Told you that won’t work,” Hoggle said, triumph apparent in his voice. “You can’t undo yer own wishes.” In his heart, he didn’t think Sarah was ready for the crystal or the power that came with it. “Just give me that thing ‘fore you cause yerself anymore problems.” “How am I gonna do that?” she asked with little emotion. She was just like Jareth, stubborn and gloomy, bent on punishing herself. “Just give it to me.” The dwarf made a clumsy grab for the sphere and toppled into her lap. Sitting himself up right he grumbled some more. “What else can it do?” “Depends.” “On...” “On what powers Jareth gave you this last visit. I can’t believe he was fool enough to leave it with you in the first place. That was supposed to be his key home if he got trapped here in the Aboveground.” Hoggle’s mouth hung open as he watched his words register in Sarah’s head. It wasn’t quite a gleam, but her skin lit up and she smiled into the crystal, “This is a key to the Underground?” “No!” “But you just said,” she confronted him. “Never mind what I said. Don’t you get any ideas,” his finger waged at her. “You can’t just show up in the Underground, Jareth’s on a war path and the Tri...” His words went on, but Sarah was lost in a vision of she and Jareth swaying on a dance floor. He held her close as she whispered her apology to him. Her mortal magic and her fey magic were mixing her up, causing her to see her dreams as reality. “If I can’t get him to come to me,” she said slowly, “I’ll just go to him.” Sarah rose and Hoggle fell to the floor as he made one more attempt to steal the crystal from her hand. Immediately he hopped to his feet and was after her reaching for the orb. Extending one hand to make contact with his leather cap she held him at bay. Repeatedly he shouted, “It’s not fair.” His stout arms and legs shook and flailed as he attempted to break free of her hold and recover the object but it was no use, she had a significant height advantage over him and he tired quickly. “I ain’t gonna talk you outta this am I?” he yielded. Side to side her black hair waved at the back of her concrete skull. His hand held his head again. “Why do I bother.” “What do I have to do Hoggle?” “How should I know?” For a moment she’d forgotten how he expected to have questions asked of him and was irritated by his seeming indifference to her. Then in a moment of recollection she rephrased her query, “How do I use this as a key to the Underground?” “First you must be certain that you truly wish to attempt this. Mortals are not very welcome in our world. If you decide to continue on this idiot’s quest and if Jareth has given you enough power, which I fear from your recount he has, then you need only look into the crystal, envision the Underground and wish yourself there. But I just want to be perfectly clear in telling you that I definitely do not suggest you do this.” “Thank you Hoggle,” Sarah said as she leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Oh,” he grumbled, “stop kissing everybody!” He was half joking as he disappeared from her living room. ***** ***** ***** On the couch, Sarah sat still spinning the crystal. Was she really considering doing this? Why? So she could tell Jareth she was sorry? Was she? The questions led to more questions and there were never any decent answers. She did feel rotten about what had most recently happened, but all those years ago when he took Toby away, she wasn’t sorry for that. She still despised the way he tormented her when they last shared the Underground. Aside from all the to hate or not to hate there was something else consuming her. Maturity had brought with it an understanding of what an adult male meant when he begged a young girl to love him. At fifteen the Goblin King was still an asexual creature, another bizarre illusion of the Labyrinth. At thirty, he’d become a man to her. Tall and long, lithe and handsome in a way that no one else could be and full of a very tangible passion that few others possessed. Unlike the girl she’d been, the woman in Sarah prayed to fall victim to him again. Soon it was obvious that allowing ones mind to wander while holding a crystal was a not particularly a good idea. Inside the orb she could see Jareth smiling back at her as if he were standing the arm’s length from her rather than his image trapped beneath the transparent shell. The crystal rolled up the length of her arm and spun against her neck. Sarah could hear soft laughter in her ear and felt warm breath on her skin. A warmth took over inside her as she lay back her head succumbing to the magic her king had left behind. Interrupted again by Christian’s incredible lack of timing, she quickly tucked the crystal behind one of the couch cushions when she heard him approaching. Her twitching fingers reached for the remote and turned on the television. Some nature special was on so Sarah feigned an interest in the preservation movement for panda bears as her roommate entered. Christian’s brother, Joshua, was with him, liquor on their breaths. “Hello Christian. Hello Joshua,” she said plainly. “Hi Sarah,” Joshua replied. His brother just grunted. “Hope you don’t mind if I help Chris pack up his stuff.” “I was just thinking about that,” Sarah lied. Well it was only a half lie. She was thinking about what had gone on those last few days and Christian’s leaving was part of that bigger picture. “Christian doesn’t have to leave.” “Do you see?” he slurred at Joshua his arms barely controlled enough to stretch out to indicate it was Sarah he was talking about. “I’ve been putting up with that for three years. It’s been Christian leave, Christian don’t go, Christian let’s get married, no Christian I can’t marry you until we get our careers in order. How the hell am I supposed to make her happy when she doesn’t even know what makes her happy?” “Sit down before you fall down little brother.” Joshua led him to a chair and sat himself next to the woman he had always secretly hoped would one day be his sister-in-law. He turned to address her, “Sarah you know there are few times I agree with my brother, even fewer since I’ve met you,” Sarah smiled at him warmly as he continued, “but even I have to admit, you’re not making any sense.” “I don’t want to make sense. With Christian I always had to be the responsible one. I worked, I paid the bills and took care of the house. What did it get me?” Her attention focused like a laser on the man in the chair, “He runs off and sleeps with a complete stranger who sells him an overpriced watch that he couldn’t even pay for on his own in the first place.” Hurling through the air, the timepiece landed in his stomach with a thwack. Instinctively he picked it up. Staring at it was like downing a pot of black coffee suddenly making him feel incredibly sober. “I...how...someone lied to you Sarah.” Reason had never been a strong point for Christian. “You lied to me!” “Well what did you expect? You can be awfully cold sometimes and a man gets lonely. He needs to be reminded that he still has it.” ‘What an unbelievable load of shit!’ Sarah thought, but instead her mouth spat out, “I was naked in the shower the morning you left. You could of as easily had me as her. Christ, I would have enjoyed it. I don’t think you’ve touched me outside our bedroom, in the light, in all the time we’ve been together.” She blushed remembering that Joshua was there. “Don’t you think a woman needs a little reassurance too, especially just a few days after her thirtieth birthday?” Head in hand he had to admit it, “OK, I screwed up. OK? I’m sorry.” Oh this was rich! Did he really consider that an apology? Though Sarah never thought it possible Christian was proving himself more useless by the minute. “So you found out about him and the sales woman and set up the little scene with...” Joshua fumbled for a name. “Jeremy?” Sarah offered. “No. I didn’t find out about her until this afternoon. What I told him was true. Jeremy,” she hated calling Jareth by his pseudonym, “is an old friend from my past and seeing him brought up a lot of emotion for me.” “Old is right!” Christian blurted. Joshua could see something in Sarah’s eyes. He didn’t feel he knew her well enough to say just what, but he knew the two of them well enough to know that his younger sibling had screwed up the best relationship he’d ever had, impressed by the determination in Sarah’s rigid form, the best thing he ever would have. “So you’re saying...” Sarah cut him off, “That Christian doesn’t have to leave.” “I knew you’d forgive me baby.” Stammering across the room he made a lunge for her. “You couldn’t bear to be without me could you? Well, I’ll take you back even after what you did with the geezer, but you’re gonna have to earn my trust again.” He collapsed between her and Joshua on the floor. His head resting on Sarah’s knee. Gentility aside, she shoved it away. “I’m leaving.” Joshua looked at her in shock. Christian wasn’t hearing any of the conversation as unconsciousness put him in a dream state far from reality. “If you wouldn’t mind Josh, I’d like you to scoop your brother off the floor and put him to bed at your place. By morning, I’ll be gone.” “Are you sure this is what you want Sarah?” A brotherly hand overtook her own and she spent a moment realizing how nice it was to have someone ask her about herself, to show concern for her well being. With her other hand she patted the back of Joshua’s hand and smiled sweetly at him. The tears in her eyes glistening as she told him, “No, but that just makes me want it more.” ***** ***** ***** Thankfully, Joshua didn’t argue with Sarah. Even more thankfully, Christian stayed sleeping until well after he’d left the apartment. The small apartment was empty again, but for Sarah who was busily making herself something to eat, “Ought to take a little something for sustenance,” she said as she set aside some fruits and cheeses, a bag of carrot sticks and a box of crackers. She microwaved herself a plate of left-overs. Irony overcame her as she began laughing at the digital display, the numbers counting down. She ate well as she didn’t want to be getting hungry ten minutes into her adventure. After filling herself to near bursting, Sarah decided to shower. Hot water relaxed every joint and muscle in her body. She scrubbed her skin, washed her hair and since she wasn’t sure how long she’d be gone, Sarah shaved her underarms and legs. ‘Better safe than sorry,’ she figured. Grabbing the back brush, she worked the bristles into a thick lather. Abrasive stalks took the itch out of her skin, but when they found the bruise on her shoulder that Jareth had caused, Sarah moaned. The flesh was still tender but also still fresh with reverie for the exhilaration she’d felt. It occurred to her that cold water might have been a better choice for showering. Silk clung to her body as Sarah wrapped a flimsy robe around herself. A half dozen outfits were spread over the mattress before it occurred to her that at most she’d only be able to take one bag. Not even a large one. She had a brown leather knapsack she could take. It was oversized, but not so huge it would be cumbersome. Besides, it had lots of little pockets. Even if Sarah didn’t know what she wanted to put in them, it made her feel better knowing they were there. Two pairs of jeans were neatly folded so they wouldn’t take up any more room than necessary at the bottom of the bag. On top of those she put in a peasant’s top and a long sleeve cable knit sweater. Her last visit to the Underground hadn’t been all that uncomfortable in the thin painter’s shirt and vest she was wearing, but it was a different time of year. Thirteen hours in the Labyrinth wasn’t really enough time to figure out seasonal patterns. Next the staples, socks, bras, underwear. Sarah made sure to include one pair that she found particularly attractive. All white lace, they covered more than most of her everyday pairs did, but they cut in a way that accented her back side and the lace left enough for a peak. ‘Hopefully that would be more enticing than just letting it all hang out,’ she thought as she folded them. “Are you going to apologize to him or seduce him?” she asked her reflection. ‘Little of both,’ Sarah imagined her ego saying back. With a raise of her eyebrow, she agreed. There was plenty of room left in the bag. Just to be safe Sarah chose a lightweight summer shift dress to put inside. It was elegant and simple. A polyblend base with a rayon top layer that blew easily in the wind, dancing around her. It was her favorite, next to the red number she had bought for her audition. One last time, Sarah looked around this room that she’d spent the last twelve years in. Oddly enough, not much had been accumulated in all that time aside from an impressive collection of musical soundtracks. Suddenly it occurred her, a tiny thought that had always been in the back of her mind was now rushing into the foreground and growing exponentially along the way, what if Sarah never made it home? What if she couldn’t? What if she weren’t permitted? What if something happened and she... “Don’t be ridiculous!” Sarah chastised herself for thinking such things, “It’s the Labyrinth, not the lion’s den.” She set her robe over the back of her chair and a chill swept over her body helping to force the horrid thoughts from her mind. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror of the dressing table. Typically, Sarah dressed and undressed with no great interest in her naked self. Thirty had come and gone without damaging her too badly. There were ten or fifteen pounds she could have stood to get rid of, but that probably stood true for most every woman at any time. Despite what Christian thought and how he acted, it was an attractive body. He didn’t deserve courtesy, but Sarah couldn’t sink herself to his level. She sat at the desk and wrote him a letter. It was basic, but it was more than he deserved for how he had treated her. She told him it wasn’t his fault she was leaving that she needed to do this for herself. Her things could be packed and put in storage as long as he let her father know how she could get them when she came back. Even though she doubted very much he would do that, probably just sell her things off and pocket the profit. She left behind a lie to tell her parents. Stuart offered her a six month trip to England to study stage with the masters and she was taking advantage of it. Something inside her wondered if her parents would even ask. She hadn’t gotten a call for her birthday. She hadn’t gotten a call at all in more than a year. ‘That makes it all the more simple,’ she decided as she signed the letter. Sarah. Not love, not sincerely, not even thinking of you. Just Sarah. Dressing in jeans and a middle weight long sleeve shirt that looked very much like a man’s dress shirt only extraordinarily long. The garment was a throw back to her eighties younger years, but she could never bare to get rid of it. Now she was up to two security blankets. The dresser and the shirt...and the book! She grabbed her bag and burst into the living room. Her copy of the Labyrinth went into the bag along with everything else. Lastly she added the food. One of the pockets on the side of her bag was designed for a water bottle. Sarah slid in a bottle of Dasani and then busied herself going over her mental list of what she needed to take with her. Seemingly, she had everything and nothing all at the same time. There was no turning back. Despite everything she had thought, to the good and to the bad, she still wanted to pick up that crystal and wish herself away. Away from this apartment. Away from Christian. Away from this miserable city where she was constantly pretending to be someone else. Eponine! She was walking out on playing Eponine. Sara reached into her closet and pulled down a pair of neutral colored dress boots which she thought would go with just about everything she had packed. This role was the one thing that could reignite her career. Sitting down on the couch to put her boots on Sarah wished things could become clear to her, something that would tell her she wasn’t turning her back on what Stuart thought was the opportunity of a lifetime. The crystal popped out of the couch cushions and rolled to place before her eyes. Inside she could see the producer of the show she was to appear in. He was taking money from a man Sarah had never seen before. One image faded as another rose, the front page of a local paper showing the same group under a headline that read ‘Embezzling Producer Presents - Curtains Close Before They Open’. The date of the paper was three weeks in the future. All that hard work and it would have been for nothing. Tony was the next thought on her mind. As though the crystal knew that, the image inside changed again. Tony was dancing and singing a part from West Side Story and Sarah recognized the stage he was on as she would recognize her own father in a crowd. He was on Broadway. A tear rolled down Sarah’s cheek and for the first time in longer than she cared to think about it fell from happiness. The show that was supposed to be her big break had been scandalized. Her only friend had made it to the only stage that mattered. But in all the visions of this world the crystal had to show her, Sarah saw nothing of promise for herself. A new determination filled her. She slung the bag over her shoulder as a shaking hand reached out to grab the crystal. Concentrating, she forced an image of the Labyrinth into her mind. Clouds swirled inside the orb as a surge of heat rushed down her arm and into her fingertips. When the clouds cleared, it was the view from the second story balcony window of her parents’ old home. The doors had been thrown open and the curtains blew wild in a wind that came from nowhere. Sarah moved forward in the image looking out over the balcony rails to a vast desert land that led to acres of maze, a castle rising high above the walls. “It doesn’t look that far,” she heard herself say. “It’s further than you think,” the wind answered as she turned to see her old house was gone. Eager feet pounded on the reddish sand beneath them as she ran toward the maze. “I wish I was back there,” Sarah said. “I wish it with all my heart.” This time the apartment was truly empty. |
|||||||
Love it?.....Hate it?.....Got Questions? Leave a comment in my LJ Community. Please remember to include story title and chapter! |