Time is moving so quickly, already a week has passed us by.

We have settled into an odd sort of companionship. Mostly, he just stands back and watches me now. Hardly does he need to intercede on my behalf. Still, occasionally to my dismay, he still feels the need to shout and call me “fool” for getting into sticky situations.

Today, he actually let me start the morning off by myself. I think he no longer feels the need for a constant eye on me.

Now , that I think about it, I have not made another attempt to escape since the night of the meeting. I keep recalling the conversation I had with Zakon. Dear Zak, he has been a good friend. I cannot stay angry with him, when his words carry some truth.

I know my heart is bruised right now, and I have a lot of anger at myself and sometimes the world, I find there is still some compassion in me. I had to find that out the hard way today.

It happened again today. He stole another kiss. It was the last thing I expected given the circumstances. He is so strong willed and callous sometimes, I cannot help but lash out at him with my claws. But today, I am sure, that he came close to death because of me.

And not the first time. So much blood. When he fell unconscious, I was stunned. This man, I thought invincible and I just learned he was not. I knew it was bad when I was able to remove his mask without him breaking my arm.

Still, a kiss is a small payment in return for one’s life. That kiss also reminds me of how much I really do not know of this elf that keeps me by his side.

Now the afternoon has passed and I am able to rest. I can sit back here and reflect upon my feelings more.

And do so in comfort! He has brought me to an inn, for one night, no dirt pile! Per haps later after moonrise, I will be able to sneak down to the moon well and bathe for real. That will be a real treat.

I have learned much, all this time I have spent with him. I have not had a drink since the start. I am too tired to even crave one most of the time. I find that I do not cry at the drop of a hat when a harsh word is thrown my way. And I find I am able to rely on myself more. Perhaps that is the whole point of his lesson?

I was sure he was tormenting me as a payback for the pain I caused him. I did not know that his heart was involved, that he has had feelings for me since we first met. I was so sure he meant to use me as revenge, but if that is so, why has he not done more than steal a mere brush of the lips?

Now I find I am unable to sleep.

Why do I do this to myself.