What can I say here, which hasn't been said a thousand different ways on a thousand different TG sites? I never thought I'd have one on my site, but after suffering from overwhelming cerebral onslaught, I decided to include what seems to be the obligatory biography section as commonly seen on other TG sites. I hope I can entertain and amuse you. Perhaps you can broaden your understanding and appreciation for the rapture and despair experienced by people having some sort of disonance between their gender and anatomical body.
Speaking from the heart has always been my natural inclination. I treasure being a member of the gender community (or subculture as it is referred to by some people who are not in it). I never cease to be amazed at the beauty, brilliance and benevolence so common among my "gender" friends. Some of my most treasured acquaintances are in this community.
The thoughts I will express on these personal matters will be my own beliefs and in my own words. I do not speak for the gender community. I do not intend to define terms. There is a plethora of technical and community resources available, and at this point, I have no plans to recommend any of those or provide any links to them. They're not hard to find.
I am not an arm chair psychiatrist, so don't expect me to diagnose you or advise you on how to achieve "your wellness". I merely intend to describe my journey and views I've acquired along the way. I will suggest this (perhaps to the shagrin of some in this community), that my wellness was not acquired through the assumption of some gender litany passed on to me by another gender person. "I decide on a daily basis" what I am and what I'm not--you can too! "I decide on a daily basis" what it will take for me to maintain my wellness--you can too.
Whether you're inclined to go full-time, or just read a T magazine from time to time, there will be people with agendas bearing influence on any choice you could make. Seek counselling in a clinical environment--even if it is with someone unfamiliar with gender issues. The gender issues are complex to be sure, but with those issues we all bring other issues to the table which have collateral implications for every dimension of our lives; occupation, friends, family, etc. A respectable therapist can make a timely referral to someone to help guide you through issues particular to your gender dysphoria. My point is this, "if you are in an emotional crisis, you need a clinical specialist to accurately diagnose your orientation." Bathing yourself in "gender speak" (which we all love) with other gender folks, makes you suscesptible to the influence of those who suffer not only from some degree of gender dysphoria, but also what I call "the ignorance of innocence." By this I mean, that some women in our community have used the notion that they were somehow "an innocent victim of a cosmic trick" to justify any decision that they make (or made)--sometimes having a dramatic impact on other "innocent" people, again family and friends. By transference, if they can get you to embrace that same notion, their decisions have been reinforced.
My intention here is to set on a "virtual couch" drinking "virtual tea" as I share with you my shallowest and deepest thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we will shed tears of sadness, but at other times we will scream hilariously as I indulge myself in frivolous moments. At other times, I may make you mad as hell.
I can already tell that this is going to be no simple, short read. As I initially think about it, I plan to categorize my editorial entries then provide links to those entries from this page.
I hope that those who read these entries, may gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of gender, identity, sexuality, emotion, romance and ethics--not by virtue of any brilliant discoveries I've made, but rather by the heartfelt explorations of a woman on her own quest for gender wellness. (That was one hell of a sentence! I'll try not to do that too often.!)
Dedication
"My Life's Work"Freshly written!"
"My Creed"Freshly written!"
Why me?
"My Cure"Freshly written! "A Must Read!"
Letter to family and friends
Some of my family know!
All of my friends know!
Who should I blame? Who should I thank?
The Pink HouseFreshly written!"
The Journey
This page last updated September 10, 1998.
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