Shane rushed over to his suitcase he was mid unpacking and grabbed his address book. He immediately dialled my number, panicking when it didn't connect but then realising in his haste he has forgotten to press '9' for an outside line. He quickly dialled again, and it began to ring on both ends. I was lying on the sofa with a big pot of ice cream and friends on, when I heard the phone ring. I had originally decided not to get the phone tonight but my mum was due home ages ago, so I grudgingly left the comfort of the sofa and picked it up,

"Hello?" I said expecting to hear my mother’s voice, instead I was faced by a very different one.

"Shelly, it's Shane, why the hell did it take you so long to answer the phone?" he said fast and worryingly, "I'm sorry.." I started but he immediately cut me off,

"Forget it. Have you heard about a plane crash in Dublin Shelly?"

"No," I replied starting to get a little anxious at what he was getting at.

"Shelly it was just on sky news, a plane from Amsterdam has crashed somewhere in Dublin,"

It was terrible but I didn't get what he was trying to say. "Shelly, Mark was on that plane coming back to see you." As soon as he said his name, I felt sick. Mark had been involved in a plane crash? No, no it wasn't possible. "Shelly you have to get down there now, go, and please don't hurt him anymore than you already have. Now go, and call me the second you get any news."

"Okay," I replied, replacing the receiver grabbing my coat, phone and keys and running out the door. I ran straight over to my neighbours and begged them to drive me, which they kindly did. I sat in the car on the 10-minute journey, realising what a fool I'd been. It was ridiculous to think that something this bad had to happen to make you realise the things that were really important in life to you. I'd always taken it for granted that Mark would always be there, whether in the same room as me as a friend or on the TV, and life without him, although that was what I thought I'd wanted was bleak, very bleak. What if he hadn't survived? I had no idea of the details of the crash, what if I'd left it too late? What if I'd lost him? The fans would all blame me, and of course it would be the right thing for them to do, it was my fault he was even on that plane. I burst into tears worried that I'd lost him and caused so many people so much pain, and vowed to myself if he was alive then I'd confess my true love for him, and not try to hide my feelings anymore-I'd find a way to overcome all the problems I had with us being together, I was going to be sensible for once and listen to my heart and not my head.

When we arrived there were loads of people on the scene. You couldn't see the plane as the police had already put up orange tape barring anyone from going through. I ran over to a lady standing behind the tape, explaining that I simply had to see Mark. She started to talk about how a few fans had found out there was a minor celebrity on board and we had to wait, it was only friends and family who could be told anything, I screamed at her, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'M NOT A FAN, I'M MARK'S GIRLFRIEND, WELL KINDA-YOU HAVE TO LET ME THROUGH!" It didn't even sound convincing to me and of course she wasn't going to believe me, Mark had never talked about a girlfriend before. She told me to calm down, and stated it was quite clear I was a fan from my T-shirt. I looked down and sighed, out of all the t-shirts why this one? I screamed at her,

"FOR PITY'S SAKE THIS IS A BOYZONE T-SHIRT NOT A WESTLIFE T-SHIRT, YOU HAVE TO LET ME THROUGH I HAVE TO SEE MARK," I yelled between sobs.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to wait," She calmly replied.

"NO I WILL NOT WAIT, I AM WHO I SAY I AM, JEEZ I'LL EVEN GET ANY MEMBER OF WESTLIFE ON THE PHONE FOR YOU, THEY'RE ALL IN AMSTERDAM WORRIED OUT OF THEIR MINDS AS AM I-PLEASE YOU HAVE TO LET ME THROUGH."

"I'm terribly sorry but I can't," she replied letting 2 other people through. I'd had enough, I wasn't going to let her get away with it. I walked slightly over to the left and climbed quickly under the tape running in the direction of other people. I ignored her shouts, and threats, and carried on running, I wasn't going to let one stupid woman, or anyone for that matter keep me away from Mark any longer.