My hand went on to feel for Mark. I was still tired and sleepy but rose quickly when I realised that Mark wasn't there anymore. I calmed myself down and went to the bathroom. When I turned on the light, I could see the rubbish bin had fallen down and... oh my God!! No way Mark could've found this. I was in a panic, I ran back to the bed and saw a note lying down on the carpet. I recognised Mark's hand writing and picked it up.

How could you?
Mark

Mark knew what I was up to and his words that he had written on the small piece of paper sounded so angry and upset. He had never written a note like that even when we had a little fights. He didn't sign love or from or whatever but he just wrote his name.

I searched for the phone and rang any number my finger went for. I wanted to know where Mark was. 'Hello?' I recognised Nicky's sleepy voice. 'Nicky? Is Mark there? 'Nope. Isn't he supposed to be with you, you two lovebirds?' Nicky's last word strucked me as if a lightning had came to e.

'Emily? Are you there? What's wrong?' I couldn't hold it anymore and I broke down completely. 'I'm coming to your place in five minutes time okay?' When I was about to say don't cos I was afraid I would disturb his time with Georgina with him, he hung up.

Mark didn't even bother to lock the door when he left because Nicky rushed straight in. I was still sobbing and I already missed Mark, not just his kisses of course. Nicky didn't say anything, he just went to the room and hugged me tight. He was shushing me but I was still crying and shaking. It felt exactly like couple of months ago when I pushed Bry away at the hospital. I felt really bad.

Nicky left me in the room for couple of minutes. I could hear he was using the phone. 'Mark? What's happening? Why aren't you here with Em? WHAT? Why would you do that? No, no. She was nearly in the state of hysterics. Where are you? Yeah. Are you fine? Oh wait, stupid question. Of course you are not. Okay, okay, later mate. Take care.' Nicky rushed back in and I was calming myself down.

'What's wrong Em?' 'What did Mark tell you?' 'Nothing much. He didn't seem himself either. Why is this happening? I thought you two were so in love.' Nicky's face was stating a disbelief look. 'I don't know if you still care about me cos Mark clearly doesn't anymore...'

I thought Nicky was going to stop me there but he didn't. He continued on listening but his face was still stating a disbelief look. Maybe he thought I was crazy. 'Why did I act so stupid Nicky? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why did I have to use it again? How can I hurt someone that cares about me? Where did my heart and brain go?' I was screaming and I cried again. Harder than before.

'What did you do Em?' Nicky asked me softly, maybe he was afraid if he talked louder I would break into pieces of glasses. Instead of answering him I pointed toward the bathroom. Nicky got up and went to the bathroom. 'OH MY LORD! OH MY GOD! GOODNESS' SAKE!!' I knew Nicky didn't mean to react that way but I cried even harder. If it surprised him, I wondered what was Mark's reaction.

Nicky rushed back to me and hugged me again. He was rocking me back and forward. It reminded me when Mark used to rock me back and forward at times when everything got too hard. The memories of the time when we were together stabbed my heart. You wouldn't know how it felt. It was worse than anything in the world.

Suddenly Nicky stood up and said, 'Come now Em. I'm bringing you back.' I knew what he meant and it was as if a chance to get Mark back. I didn't know if I would make it this time because I was without Mark but I got up anyway.