flying without wings

chapter eight

'Bry, what if she never woke up huh? What if I would never be able to see her again? What if, what if, what if... I should've never called her from the window. Never. It's all my fault, Bry.'

That was the first sentence I heard when I realised that I've woken up. It couldn't be. Mark hardly knew me, why would he care? Then I remembered what mam told me earlier. Could it be true? That Mark truly cared?

'Calm down Mark. She'll be fine. Doctors told us all remember? It wasn't your fault.' I could feel that it was a self-assuring sentence too. 'That truck shouldn't drive that fast in winter. Stupid driver!' So that was why I was lying down in this hospital bed again. That damn truck.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw familiar faces around me. Mark was standing next to my bed side, holding my left hand. Bry was standing at the end of my bed. And, wait, which are those people sitting down? 'Emily!!! Oh my God!!!! You've woken up!!! Oh my God, that's brilliant!' Mark sounded so happy but why?

'Do you want me to ring your parents? Your mam maybe? Bry tried to find the number but he didn't find any. How are you feeling? Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry. You shouldn't be lying here if it wasn't for me.' 'Shush mate. She's just woken up. Calm down Mark.'

When I slowly turned my head, it was so painful I groaned a bit. It was Nicky. How come all these people stood by me when they didn't even know me? Bryan was just introducing himself and trying to help me couple of hours ago and look at them now. They waited for me. Could it be that mam sent them for me? What did Mark ask me? My parents' number? I wish he knew so I wouldn't have to explain. I have no one in this world.

My eyes were feeling heavy again but I managed to slip in a few words. 'Mark, stay here with me won't you?' Somehow I really wanted him to stay with me. I felt peace in his presence and that was all I needed at the time being. I didn't even hear his reply cos I went straight to sleep again, secretly hoping I would get to see mam again.

I woke up with disappointment cos I didn't get to see mam again. I began to curse deep inside me. I was really angry. She left me again, like she always did.

Then I heard a soft voice singing a song. Even though it wasn't my mam's, it gave me the feeling that my mam was present. I was still closing my eyes, didn't want the singing to stop.

'You don't have to be afraid of what you are..' I moved my fingers a little bit. Someone stroked my hair softly. Just like my mam used to do when I was sick. My head was pilling up with anger. I bet anyone in the world that my dad didn't even know that I've been hit by a truck, almost died and his only daughter was a drug addict.

'And the sorrow that you know will melt away..' Now I know what song it was. It was Mariah Carey's Hero. I've always loved to sing and I liked that song a lot. You wouldn't guess hey that a drug addict liked pop songs.

I felt a kiss on my forehead, a pair of warm lips. The hand continued to stroke my hair and the soft singing went on again.

chapter nine