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THAT NIGHT I RANG KIAN
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"Kian, I just need you to promise me that you are not going to say a thing. Promise me?" "Rav, you’re putting me in an awkward position, I mean I love you an all, but Bryan’s ma best mate" I was asking Kian to keep a secret about where I was going, I needed a much needed break away from everything, and the last thing I needed was to tell a liar where I was going. "Look Kian, you and Cel have been together what three years? If you found out that she'd been cheating on you, would you give in to her, TWICE?" Kian began to think, for me it was clear. I knew once and for all that Bryan and I were not supposed to be. Thou’ it wasn’t a good feeling, I couldn’t help but force myself to believe that I was doing the right thing, but it felt so wrong, let alone anything else. "Okae Rav, but you have to get in touch with him, let him know what you are thinking, cos I don’t believe the fact that he has done it again," "Don’t you?" I asked Kian but then he wasn’t going to think it, after all Bryan and he were mates, they never would think that of one another.

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I LEFT FOR USA TO BE WITH MY NONNA
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"I don’t know Nonna, I thought things were going fine." I was sitting there in the arms of my Nonna; I knew that she would comfort my pain away. Good old Nonna, there for all her grandkids when they needed her. "Go and have a shower," she told me, "You’ve had a long flight and you need to get cleaned up, I’ll make you some of my authentic pancakes like I used to when you were younger." I smiled on my face, but it was all a front, I felt empty, nothing seemed right, but then what was? Was I right to walk away? I convinced myself that it was the right thing, I should have done it the first time, I shouldn’t have waited for him to do it again. I mean what was I thinking, after all, he was, IS a mega star, why would he want to stay with me, his façade would get him anything he wanted, so would the fame that came with him.

I walked into the shower and turned on the tap, just as I got in I heard the door knock, for a minute there I felt my heart skip, till I realised that it wasn’t my house and Nonna would open the door herself. While I was showering, Nonna opened the door to see Bryan standing there, "You" she said, "What the hell do you think you are doing here. My baby doesn’t want to see you, now go away," "No Nonna, just let me explain," he said, Nonna turned to slap Bryan, "don’t you dare call me ‘Nonna’" she said, "No! Rav is my precious Ruby, ever since she was born she had a dream of marrying the guy of her dreams, YOU! You’ve destroyed that in her, what have you done? You took that away from her. You’ve killed the person inside her, and you want to explain?" Nonna began to shout, "Explain to me why my little girl came to me crying her eyes, hating her life? Explain to me why she cries tears every night before going to bed because of the hurting, explain, go on…" Bryan stood there, he couldn’t comprehend what was going on, "Nonna I haven’t done anything to hurt her, I swear to you" "GET OUT" said Nonna, she wasn’t going to have any of it, in her eyes Bryan had done all the damage and now he had to leave. When I heard her shout I began to worry, I came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me, and walked out to see Bryan with my Nonna, "Bryan?" I said, "What are you doing here? I’ll Kill Kian" I said, "Kian knew? I found of your sister…and that was hard enough" he said as he walked towards me, "Rav you have to listen to me, Rav, I haven’t done anything, PLEASE" I looked at him, "So tell me where you were that night when you told me you were with Kian?" Bryan looked down at his feet, "I knew it" I said, I walked away, and Bryan pulled me back "No Rav, I can’t tell you where I was, but you are just going to have to trust me on this" "No, I want to know where you were". Bryan revealed nothing, so I walked away, but he pulled me back and pushed me against the wall with force, "Bryan, you’re hurting me" I squealed, "Kiss me," he said, "What?" I said looking at him almost in disgust, "Kiss me," he said once again, "Kiss me and tell me that you don’t feel love in my kiss, tell me that you believe that I am telling you the truth." his lips touched mine and we began to kiss I pushed him back, "NO! Don’t manipulate me that way, no. Tell me where you were that night, I DON’T believe you Bryan". He held me back, "Look into my eyes tell me, I’m telling you to just look into them and tell me that you truly believe that you don’t love me, tell me that you KNOW I have cheated on you, you tell me that you don’t love me, looking into my eyes, and I’ll walk away, I’ll leave you forever." I stood there in a motionless state. I looked deep into Bryan’s eyes, and for the first time ever - I realised that I had been kidding myself all these years, thinking that Bryan and Me were Bryan and me. I realised that Bryan and I weren’t really "Bryan and I" we were actually one soul, just joined in life. He would never cheat on me again, and no matter what, Bryan was mine to have and to hold. To kiss and to love. He was mine.
Forever.