I just stood there, couldn't talk, couldn't move. He had admitted to it? The anger welled up within me. I was a very calm character, but something that really got to me was people lying. It took me fairly long to really trust someone, I had trusted Shane, but this was the end of that. "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me!" He looked up, "I do love you, you know I do, please I just-" "You just... you cheated on me and that's not something you just do! I have heard rumours about this, and I just let it pass. I never thought you would be able to do something like this to me!" "I didn't do it, I mean, I didn't want to, the last thing I'd ever want is to hurt you..." "But you have hurt me! And in a worse way than just telling me it's over." "I'll break up with her, please..." "No, I'm telling you now Shane, it's over! Do you hear what I said, over, over, over!" "Nikki..." Shane took my hand, but I drew it away. "No, don't give me that puppy eyed look, you heard what I said and I mean it!" "Nikki, I-" he didn't get any further cos he broke down. I resisted the temptation to rush over and cuddle him, tell him that everything was fine. Because I knew it wasn't, knew it couldn't ever be fine again. He had cheated on me, and it wasn't my fault. He could go and cuddle up to this girl, whatever her name was, yeah Luce, and load all his problems on her. I wasn't responsible for this. "Goodbye" I whispered and rushed out, happy I hadn't had time to unpack my bags yet.

Just as I rushed out Mark came in the corridor. I rushed past him, he realised what was going on a bit too late. "Nikki, come back!" Too late, I was already inside the comforting walls of the lift. Wasn't coming back, never, ever again. I didn't care if Shane made up a story, trying to hide the fact that he had cheated on me, didn't care if he was sad. I hadn't broken his heart, he had broken it himself. I knew he was responsible for this.

...couple of hours later...

Finally home. I sighted heavily as I threw my bags down and sat down on the sofa. The phone rang, but I didn't answer. I was too exhausted to talk to anyone, and I knew who it was. But it wouldn't stop ringing. Whoever it was knew that I was home. I picked it up.

"Hello?" God, I still had a defensive tone in my voice. "Hey, Nikki, there's no need to be so defensive with me!" I recognised the voice directly. "Oh, hi Mark." "I just phoned to check that you came home alright..." "Yeah, I'm fine." Even I could hear the shiver in my voice, and undoubtedly Mark could as well. "Nikki, are you sure you're OK?" "Yeah, everything is fine..." Oh, why did I feel the tears swelling up again? I got a big lump in my throat. "Nikki, can you tell me what happened?" "Can't Shane do that?" "No, not in the state he is in, he is totally broken..." I swallowed, desperately trying to get rid of the lump. "Well, it's his own fault..." "Wha?" "Mark, he was cheating on me!" Mark went quiet. "I knew it..." he stated wearily. "Luce, was it? Have been around that girl a lot lately, I just knew something was going on there..." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Nikki, I didn't want to worry you, and I wasn't sure. Shane has surely changed his mind, I'm sure he loves you." "And I..." I said, the rest of the sentence drowned in my sobs. "Nikki, you aren't alright, are you now?" I fought against it, "No, I'm not, I love him as well, but..." I broke down again. "Do you want me to come over?" Mark asked. "No, it doesn't matter, I'll be fine, I'm home alone a few days..." "I'll send Lorraine over." "What? Mark, you can't do that, you don't spend much time together!" Mark didn't listen. "She says it's OK, she'll come tonight." "Mark, no..." "Nikki, I know you're as broken as Shane, and you can't hide the fact. You'll go mad being alone in that house while your mum is away. I would have gone down myself, but..." "Mark, listen, I'll be fine." "No, you won't, she'll just be happy to do it, you get on great together, now, she'll come tonight, nothing else to discuss." "Mark-" "No, you heard what I said, she'll come over a few days, it'll be fine. I've gotta go, take care now, bye." "Bye." I put the phone down with a sight. Why did he do this for me?

By the time Lorraine arrived in the evening I was happy Mark hadn't given in that easily. He was right, I felt like I was going mad being alone. The minute she came in the door she gave me a hug. "Hello! Cheer up now hun, we'll have fun! Sleepover!" I smiled, but I wasn't too sure I'd have a lovely time. She started deciding on what we were doing. "Here, I brought some party snacks, we'll watch a video, I'll just get this ready..." She went out into the kitchen and I followed her. I was happy she'd been there before, knew what everything was and I didn't have to say much. She took everything into her own hands. By the time we sat down and watched the video, it happened to be The Nutty Professor as Mark had decided on it, I began to relax again. The video did make me laugh, and Lorraine talked a bit every now and then. It seemed like she'd been through it all before, and I guess she had. I knew that she had broken up with Mark for a while as well, even if the reason had been different.

When the video was over, Lorraine declared that we should sleep on mattresses in the living room. I just nodded, OK, if she said so. We were talking to long into the small hours, deliberately avoiding talking about Westlife. By the time she went back home by the end of the week I was happy again. She made me promise to get over to her for a sleepover sometime, and I knew I would.

After that, I recovered quickly from my heartbreak. After all, friendship is the best medicine. I'd avoid any place I knew there was gonna be something about the band thought. I knew Shane was still heartbroken and I couldn't cope to see him. Rumours where going about it, his sudden sadness did confuse people. I didn't care, it had been his choice. So, everything went perfectly fine, until one day a few months later...