Rememberence is the best form of goodbye

chapter ten

I suppose you're wondering why I'm telling you all this, right? Well, I wanted to take time to tell people that no matter what obstacles are pushed in your way, and whatever you have to endure to find your soul mate, you should go for it and let nothing stand in your way. You've got to fight for what you believe is right.

That's what I did, and Mark and I have been together since he asked me to marry him on live television. To show the girls how much I appreciated their support, I asked Lisa, Clare, Ally and Jenni to be my bridesmaids, who all gladly accepted, not just because Bryan, Shane Nicky and Kian were Mark's groomsmen. I also asked my other friends on the Westlife mailing lists to the reception...I think I'm still paying for damages!

All that was, believe it or not, 53 years ago. All through that time I don't remember us having an argument. Oh, except when we were naming the twins. I gave birth to a boy and a girl on my 21st birthday; March 9th, 2003; Aimee Cara and Joshua Brendan.

Mark and the lads continued to grow as a band, they even broke America. They released 35 singles world wide, 17 of them number one in America, the rest all went to number one in the UK and Ireland, plus Australia, and did extremely well all over the world in the 15 years they were together as Westlife.

Bryan went on to do a solo singing career, in which he was very successful, and branched off occasionally to do acting.

Shane was very successful as a solo artist. He even sold out Wembley Stadium for a fortnight straight.

Nicky dabbled a little in acting for a while, and continued to do so as he established himself in a television presenting career.

Kian decided to shy away from the solo career. He acted in plays, musicals and low-budget Irish films. But he found the most fulfilment when he opened a singing school for talented but underprivileged children in Sligo.

All the lads married. Nicky married his long-term girlfriend, Georgina Ahern 18 months after Mark and I married, and had 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls.

And Mark and I...well, you can work that out for yourself. But I'm not writing this because the ending of the story is happy. It's actually the opposite.

Mark left me. He didn't leave me for another woman, he'd never do that...but he left me.

Three days ago...Mark died. I haven't been taking it very well, the same with Amiee and Josh, who are now almost 54. Bryan, Shane, Nicky and Kian are heartbroken too. The doctors can't tell me what happened, but they told me that he went in his sleep, with no pain. I already knew that, I'd been sitting by his side in the hospital for the past week and a half, holding his hand, singing softly to him.

That's why I'm writing this. This is my journal. I've kept a journal since I was a teenager. This last entry took up half of the journal. I'm now at the last page, just like I am with life, I've come to the last sentence. I'm almost 75 years old, and I'm all alone. I never thought that Mark would leave me when I needed him most. I suppose it's like when I left him back in that hotel room in London.

Someone told me once that remembrance is the best form of goodbye. I'll always remember Mark. The love we shared, the laughs we shared, the hugs and kisses we shared.

But I can't say goodbye. He was my one true love, the Romeo to my Juliet. I'll be the Juliet now, as she sees her Romeo lying on the church altar, so calm, so peaceful. I'll do the deed that will help me, help me to be together again with my love. With Mark.

I'll always remember, but I can never say goodbye.

~ End ~

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