‘ANNA!’ ‘TASH!’ The two girls hugged on the doorstep, and Kian stood there, feeling rather awkward. ‘Tash, this is Kian.’ Kian stuck his hand out to shake hands with her, but she hugged him too. ‘Don’t worry Ki’, she’d hug goldfish if she could! Tash, how are you?’

‘Well, the big news is... I’m having a baby!’ ‘You’re kidding?’ Anna drew in her breath, and closed her eyes for a second. ‘When did you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?’ ‘We only found out on Monday! I would have told you, but I thought that since you were coming up, I’d prefer to tell you in person.’

‘When are you due?’ ‘November 28th. I can’t believe it! Mike’s in shock, I reckon, but we’re both over the moon.’ ‘I’m not surprised! It’s fabulous Tash!’ Anna smiled, but it wasn’t very convincing. ‘Well, are you going to leave us standing here on the doorstep all night, or are we allowed to come in?’ ’God, I’m sorry. I’m just so pleased to see you. Come in. Kian, come and meet Mike.’

Before long, the four of them were sitting around chatting like they’d all known each other for years, but Anna seemed slightly subdued. When Tash and Mike went out to the kitchen to get some more drinks, Kian leant across and put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Anna, are you okay?’ ‘Yeah, ‘course. Why?’ ‘You’ve just gone really quiet, that’s all.’ ‘Have I? Just tired I guess.’ Kian could tell she wasn’t being honest with him, but something told him not to press the subject. Tash’s news had struck a sad chord in Anna, and reminded her. She had to tell Kian soon.

Later, back in the hotel, Anna sat down and motioned Kian to sit next to her. ‘You’re not all right are you? I know you said you were, but I could tell you weren’t. Baby, what’s wrong?’ Kian’s eyes were full of concern.

‘Kian, I’ve got something to tell you. Please, don’t say anything. This is going to be hard for me, but you’ve got to know.’ Kian looked ready to speak. ‘No, don’t. Just let me say this. We can talk afterwards.’ Anna took a deep breath and began.

‘When I was 16, my parents started arguing. It hit me hard, and for six months before they divorced, both of them were so wrapped up in themselves, that no one paid any attention to me. I got in with the wrong crowd, starting dating this guy who was 22. I told him I was 19. I just wanted to get away from mum and dad. I started drinking a lot, and one night at a party, this guy took me upstairs. I wasn’t drunk, but very tipsy. He told me that if I loved him I’d sleep with him, so I did. Neither of us was sober enough to think about protection. I didn’t know much about it anyway. We hadn’t had sex education at school, so I only knew what my mates had told me. Anyway, a few months later, things sorted themselves out at home. I split up with the guy, but I started putting on weight. I’d never been, y’know, regular, so the fact I’d gone for a few months without one didn’t phase me, but after a while, something told me that this had been too long. I did a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I went to the doctor and he confirmed it. I was terrified. If my mum found out she would kill me. I was already 7 months pregnant, how she hadn’t noticed, I’ll never know. I decided to have an abortion. I knew it was too late to go to the hospital for one, so I went to this guy I knew of, who did ‘late abortions’. I lied and told him I was 5 months pregnant, and he, he got rid of the baby for me. Later that day, I started bleeding, really badly. I collapsed, and mum found me in a heap on the bathroom floor, in a puddle of blood. I spent the next week in hospital. I had haemorrhaged really badly, and they had to perform a hysterectomy. I can’t have kids Ki’. I had wanted to tell you, but I kept putting it off. But now Tash has told me that she’s pregnant, I knew I couldn’t put it off.’ Anna sat back and waited for Kian’s reaction.

‘Jesus. Anna, God, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. Jesus. I really don’t know what to say. Does Tash not know?’ ‘Nah. Only my mum and Georgina know. I was really upset about it one day, when I was thinking about telling you, and George was there. A shoulder to cry on. But, no, Tash doesn’t know. I didn’t want to burden her. She’s so carefree, and even younger than me. It’s not something she needed to know. But you do Ki’. I’ll understand if you want me to disappear for a bit, so you can think about it.’

‘No, God no. Don’t go anywhere. I want you here with me.’ Kian pulled Anna close to her, and she burst into tears. ‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have told you. You don’t need to know this.’

‘Hey, hey, hey.’ Kian wiped her tears away. ‘Why don’t I need to know this?’ ‘Well, we’re not, y’know. Getting towards that stage. Are we?’ ‘What d’you mean? Anna, don’t you know how I feel about you? Anna, I love you more than I knew I could love anything. I want you to talk to me. Properly. I’m so glad you told me.’

‘You mean it? I was scared Kian. The last guy I told ran out on me. Just vanished. Since then, I haven’t told anyone I’ve dated. Until now.’ ‘Baby, baby, I’m so pleased you told me. I want you to trust me. Totally.’ ‘I do, I do, but I don’t like talking about it. I could have died Ki’. I lost a baby. I killed my baby.’

‘Oh God. I don’t know what to say. I love you Anna, I love you. I’ll love you for as long as I live.’ ‘Seriously? Kian, I love you too. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I was so scared I’d lose you, and if I lost you I don’t know what I’d do.’

‘I’m never going to let go of you Anna. I want to stay with you, together, us, forever. Forever Anna. I mean it.’ ‘I want to be with you forever too. I love you Kian.’ ‘I love you too.’ Kian held her close again, and felt more content than he ever had before.