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"Oh just shut up!" My best friend Jess shrieked across the table at her husband, Shane, who looked both angry and upset. "Oh leave, me alone you hormonal psychopath!" He retorted whilst digging in to the breakfast I had made him almost three hours ago. "What did you call me?!" She demanded. He rolled his eyes heavenwards, "That has got to be a rhetorical question!" he muttered and hungrily licked his plate. "Shane that's disgusting!" My husband, Nicky, croaked as he tumbled lazily down the stairs. "Oh leave me alone man…what is this? Have a go at Shane day today?" he groaned and started to lick the plate again. Jess groaned and snatched the plate from him, "Hey I wasn't finished with that!" he argued and tried in vain to snatch the plate, dripping with bacon fat, from his flustered wife.
I sat quietly on the couch, feeding my seven-month-old baby and trying to hear the television. Jess and Shane rarely argued about anything but when they did they did it properly. I shook my head and turned off the television, there was no point trying to hear anything over the noise of Jess wining and Shane wining about her constant wining. My four year old daughter skipped in to the room, "Mum, dad, Jess and Shane!" she cried making everyone stop mid-scream.
Shane sat down again, Jess put on her most attentive smile and Nicky stopped scratching himself. I looked at my daughter, she had a habit of breaking up arguments. "What's wrong darling?" I asked, concerned. "As you all know it's my birthday party tomorrow and when all my friends get here I don't want any of you to be shouting or crying!" she nodded in Jessi's direction, Shane grunted appreciatively. Lolly glared at him, "I mean all of you!" she sighed and looked pleadingly at Nicky who was lost in his newspaper again. She pouted and flashed me her biggest puppy dog eyes. "Mum, tell them to be good tomorrow, they are sooooo embarrassing!" she groaned and slumped on the couch next to me. I nodded, "She's right guys, can we at least portray normal whilst her friends are round?!" I demanded and kissed both my daughters on their foreheads lovingly before handing baby Georgia to my reluctant husband. "What do you want me to do with her?" he mumbled. "Her nappy needs changing." I grinned evilly and kissed his cheek, "Ergh! Nicky you need a shower!" I moaned and swiftly left the room.
As I lay in my bubble bath surrounded in scented candles and smothering myself in gentle music I sighed to myself. Nicky was barely talking to me, my best friends were at each others throats and I had a whole birthday party to arrange in less that twenty-four hours! I groaned inwardly and grabbed my razor and leg cream. As I covered my legs in the smooth cream I realised how much I missed Nicky. He wasn't gone but he wasn't here either. I missed out loving relationship that we had always enjoyed. I missed the way he always rolled over in bed and snuggled in to my neck in the middle of the coldest nights. I missed his gentle touch, his warmth…and to be quite honest I missed our active sex life! "Ouch!" I cried out as the blade dug in to my leg sharply. I wiped away the cream and groaned, I had cut myself deeply. Well that ruined my bath…I jumped out of the tub and wrapped myself up in my fluffy towel that Nicky had bought me from some fancy store in New York. I hugged the material tightly and rubbed myself dry. I laughed to myself, Nicky usually watched me in the bath, he found it a huge turn on. He would even kindly wipe me dry and offer to warm me up again after. I refused to let myself cry I hadn't lost him. I just needed to put a little more effort in to winning his affection back again.
I looked down, miserably, at my bleeding leg. I wiped the blood away with a piece of toilet roll and went in to my bedroom to get dressed. I shut the door and dropped my towel. I opened the wardrobe and searched for a suitable, win back, outfit. As I pulled out a tight black, low cut T-shirt and jeans I sighed and turned around. I let out a small yelp when I realised that I was being watched. Nicky sat on the bed. He smiled at me reassuringly, "Ignore me, get on with your, dressing thing." He whispered and watched me closely as I walked across the room to my underwear draw. "Okay." I said slowly and opened the draw carefully. "What ones are you going to wear?" he asked curiously. I raised an eyebrow, "Erm… I don't really know…" my voice trailed off, "Nicky are you okay?" he nodded calmly, "Can you at least play along, just a little bit?!" he laughed sexily, my body trembled. "Okay, im gonna wear the black lace ones, with the silver trimming…" I smiled my most radiant smile. His smile faded as he thought about it for a few seconds, "The ones I bought you from Spain…" he whispered. I nodded and picked them up. He was acting weirder than usual, "Are you okay Nicky?" I asked slowly. He nodded hastily, "Just carry on with the dressing process." He shrugged my question off and went back to watching my every move. I hurriedly got dressed. As I brushed my hair in the mirror, I smiled at my reflection, the top I was wearing really gave me an amazing cleavage. Once I was ready for the outside world again I turned to my husband expectantly. He nodded simply at me and walked out of the room.
I sighed, more confused than ever before. I trudged down the spiral staircase that led down stairs. As I approached the bottom I led out a small gasp as I saw Jess chasing her frustrated husband around the living room whilst Lolly tried her hardest to get them to calm down. Nicky was at his computer, playing some card game lazily whilst humming "My love" to himself. Georgia seemed unaware of the madness around her and cooed lightly in her crib. I shook my head, "Everybody shut up!" I found myself yelling hysterically. " I feel sorry for Georgia who thinks this is how all families act! As it is my other daughter thinks that it is normal to have two sets of parents!" I took a deep breath and looked at Nicky for support, he eyed me from head to toe and smiled to himself. He was beginning to get on my nerves.
By three o'clock I had arranged for a clown to arrive at Lolly's birthday party as a surprise, I had arranged for a huge inflatable bouncy castle to be set up in our back garden. The only problem was that it took five hours to inflate fully, meaning we would have to have the bouncy castle men round at five in the morning! I smiled to myself, Nicky would hate that! It wasn't too much trouble for me, I was usually up for Georgia's five o'clock feed anyway.
That night, after Jess and Shane had left, I crawled in to bed next to Nicky. He was already asleep, I looked at him as his eyelids fluttered gently and his mouth opened wide to let out a huge snore. I giggled quietly to myself and programmed the alarm to go off at four thirty so I could feed Georgia before the bouncy castle men arrived to set it all up at five. I turned the light out and shut my eyes as my head hit the soft pillow. I felt Nicky move around next to me, I opened my eyes slightly. Nicky was awake, he sat up and stared down at me. For a few seconds I thought he would kiss me or wake me up in a way that would blow me away but he didn't, he merely rolled over and went back to sleep leaving me with a feeling of emptiness and feeling more than a little bit unfulfilled. I was just dropping off to sleep when the phone rang, as Nicky rarely woke up I decided to answer it myself. "Hullo." I grumbled in to the receiver, ""Sarah, its Jess, im gonna come round to your place for the night okay?" she asked and before I could speak she hung up. Although I was really concerned for my best friend's welfare, I just wanted to sleep. I took a deep breath and drudged down the stairs on to the sofa to await her arrival. Twenty minutes later the doorbell woke me up. She must have walked, I reasoned. As the door swung open Jess flung herself at me, "Oh Sarah it was awful!" she cried and burst in to tears, "Hey sit down, do you want a drink or anything?" I asked maternally. She shook her head sadly, "He threw me out!" she whispered melancholically, "Really?!" I found myself finding it hard to believe her. "Well not really, but he said that we should cool off for a while." She muttered and looked down at the floor, "He hates me!" she sobbed miserably. "He does not hate you! Shane hates nobody!" I laughed. She pouted desperately, "Nicky hates me." I grumbled, beginning to feel sorry for myself all over again. "He adores you, he told me yesterday." She smiled at me as if to tell me I was being pathetic. "So why won't he touch me? He finds me repulsive now I've had two kids and put on almost a stone in weight!" I started to cry as well. "No I don't!" cried a heavy Irish voice from the doorway. "You've been eves dropping!" Jess smiled at him playfully. He shook his head, ignoring her, "I don't find you repulsive." He mumbled, moving closer. "You do." I mumbled tearfully, "I don't!" he repeated. "Yes you do!" I cried realising how pathetic this must sound. "I don't, honestly, I just don't want to rush you in to anything so soon after the birth." He whispered honestly. "I'm the one who's being stupid!" I grinned, "It's been over a year since we did anything!" he nodded in agreement. "But I should take some credit for this mess. I was so jealous of Kian taking away your…" his voice trailed off, I laughed gently and nodded to show him that I knew what he was talking about. "…I just wish that it had been me." He added sadly. I smiled to myself, I hadn't even thought that he might be upset by the fact that Kian had, had me first and that he had taken me to places both physically and emotionally that nobody else ever had, or truthfully had done since. I reached up to his shoulders to give him a kiss but he pulled away, "Seeing as you have been so honest with me, I think I owe you the truth as well." He drew in a deep breath. I bit my lip, dreading what he was about to say, " I wasn't a virgin either when we got married." He whispered as a tear dripped ominously down his pink cheeks. Jess shook her head, "Nicky don't…" she warned and tried to catch his attention. He shrugged her off and looked desperately at my face, "How dare you, you said that you would find it hard to forgive me! You bloody did the same thing!" I felt my eyes well up with a fresh batch of tears. "Im sorry I lied." He sobbed and hugged me tight. I pulled away, "Who with? Do I know her?!" I demanded. He sighed and bit his lip, "Im sorry." He whispered so quietly that I almost couldn't hear him. "Who Nicky, who?" I shrieked so loudly that both him and Jess backed away. He didn't need to answer me, I already knew. I could tell by the look on his face and the way that Jess was refusing to catch my eye. I shook my head and moved towards them, "Have each other!" I cried and slapped Nicky with all the strength I could master, he let out a groan and held his cheek tenderly. Jess winced but didn't move away, "Get out of my house!" I yelled and threw her towards the door. She let out a breath and looked sadly at me then at Nicky, "Don't punish him. He owes you nothing, punish me, im your best friend and I couldn't even tell you." She sobbed. I shook my head at her, "You are no friend of mine!" I growled and opened the door. She walked out shakily and turned on her heel to face my sobbing husband, She glared at him with a look that could kill, "Don't ever talk to me again you fuck-hole!" she shrieked and slammed the door behind her. "Sarah im sorry…" Nicky stammered, "I should have told you when you told me but I couldn't, the thought of losing you scared me so much that I couldn't bear to think of the consequences." He looked at me in that way that he always did that could usually melt my heart. Not this time, "I cant believe this. I hate you!" I screamed and flew up the stairs to out bedroom. He chased me up the stairs, he was quick and managed to catch up with me in the middle of the stairs, "Don't touch me!" I shrieked and pushed him away from me. "Listen to me then!" he answered sadly. I shook my head and carried on running. As I reached the top of the stairs Lolly looked at me, "Mummy what's wrong?" she sobbed. " Nothing, darling, why are you up?" I asked, changing the subject rapidly. "I had a nightmare that you and daddy were splitting up because you are always fighting." She cried and pouted when she saw Nicky sobbing on the stairs, "daddy, come in to my bedroom and fight the monster." She whispered. He didn't answer. "Lolly GO TO BED AND DADDY WILL BE IN IN A MINUTE." I said gently and turned her in the vague direction of her room. I looked down at Nicky who was huddled on the second to bottom step, "Sarah don't leave me." He sobbed and got up off the stairs and followed me in to the bedroom. "Give me all the details." I sobbed as I sat down on the edge of the bed. "Do you really want to know?" he asked slowly awaiting my answer. I nodded quietly. "Okay, well it was before we even knew each other. Shane and Jess had just met and Shane was still going out with the whore, Kelly-Anne Duprai. Jess and I were sharing a tent on a camping trip we all went on." He stopped so I could process what was happening, "I remember that trip. Jess came back saying she had the best time ever. Now I know why!" I mumbled miserably and looked back at my husband for the rest of the story, "Okay, one night after everyone had gone to bed we were talking and we could hear all these noises coming from the tent next to us. We decided to go out and investigate, it turned out that it was just Shane and Kelly-Anne. Jess was really upset 'cos she had the biggest crush on him so I suggested we go for a stroll in the woods. It was the usual story, she got cold, I leant her my jacket and one thing led to another…" his voice trailed off. "If it's any consolation, I was terrified. It was my first time and I was scared." He looked at me hopefully and sighed. "Please say something, anything!" he begged. I stared at the wall, truthfully, I didn't know how to respond. "Was she better than me?" I asked smugly. "Please Sarah…" he moaned. "What's wrong? You can ask me that but I cant ask you?!" I demanded trying not to shout anymore. He nodded knowingly, "Fine Sarah if you have to know, yes she was good!" he mumbled angrily. I swallowed heavily, "Good for you. Well Kian was amazing!" I said childishly. He gasped, "Ouch." He whispered holding his chest. "Nicky im sorry." I sighed and put my hand out for him to take. He cautiously took my hand and got down on his knees, "Marry me." He breathed. I looked at him as if he was mad, "We are married you lunatic!" I laughed. He shook his head, "Now that we know everything about each other, lets marry again, renew our vow's if you like!" he suggested hurriedly. I smiled, "Okay." I grinned at him and pulled him towards me, just as out lips met the doorbell rang. I groaned and rolled out from under Nicky. He followed me down the stairs and we helped the bouncy castle men unload the bouncy castle dome. Five hours later the dome was complete and Lolly was still sleeping, Nicky was in the dome getting some exercise and I had the phone in my hand. As I dialled Jess and Shane's phone number I took a deep breath and braced myself. Shane picked up the phone, "Oh, hi Sarah, am I still allowed to come to Lolly's birthday celebrations today?" he asked formally. "Yes, tell Jess to come to, Lolly will be heart broken if she doesn't." Shane agreed, just as he was about to hang up I found myself asking him if he knew about Jess and Nicky, " Yes, I did, but its all in the past now." He chirped and hung up. I nodded to myself, it was all in the past. I went out in to the back garden where Nicky was happily bouncing around inside the dome castle. I grinned cheekily to myself and opened the door. "Uh, my wife, come join me!" he laughed and bounded towards me, I shrieked as his full body weight fell on me and caused us both to bounce in to the wall. I giggled as he grabbed my hand, "This is cool, watch this!" he whispered and lifted me in to his strong arms, he threw me to the floor and flung himself on top of me creating the floor beneath us to fling us in to the wall again. But this time we made no attempt to get up again.