BACK		I'm Flying On Big Fst Angel Wings

By Sofie

"I should have seen it coming, I should have read the signs..." Bianca sang. She danced with her broom, to the sound of Westlife. At last, she was finished dancing. She sat down on her bed, trying to catch her breath. She turned on MTV. A boring rock-video was shown. She turned her face, and got an eye on the mirror - Only 18, but already looked 21. She hated her face! She had a boring smile, a little nose, small brown eyes and long brown hair. She smiled sarcastic at the mirror. Then she looked down. She looked at her body. Big, fat'n'ugly! She had to loose weight; she knew that - She couldn't wear anything tight, cause she would look like a ham. She'd been looking like that, as long as she could remember.
She woke up from her daydream, by her idols showing up on MTV. There was a small interview. The speaker asked Mark, how his perfect girl would be. "She would have to be hot. Damn hot! Long legs, big tits, perfect shape! And she would have to love me!" he said, smiling. Though Bianca loved Westlife, she turned the TV off. She felt the tears bursting down her chins. Those selfish jerks! Bianca felt a sudden need to puke. The same need, she'd been having for the last three months. Luckily her mother wasn't home, so she ran out to the bathroom, and puked down the toilet. After that, she felt happy. She knew that she had to loose some weight by doing like that!
The phone woke her up, from her thoughts, and she answered it. She got happy, when she heard her friends voice. Mary. "Hi Mary, what's up?" Bianca asked. "I'm fine... I want to talk to you. It's important! Do you have time?" she asked. Bianca got nervous! If anyone found put about what she was doing, she would die! "Sure..." she just said. "Bianca, my mom found puke in the toilet! Are you trying to loose weight like that?" her best friend asked. Damn! She remembered, that she forgot to flush. "No! I just felt sick, and I had to...puke..." she mumbled. She could hear, that Mary didn't believe her. "Don't do it, Bianca! It's dangerous! I've tried it!" she said. "Yeah, and you got skinny!" Bianca yelled, but then realized, that she said it out loud. Of anger and sadness, Bianca slammed the phone, and ran outside.
She walked down at Dublin Park. It was a beautiful spring, but she didn't enjoy it. She regretted that she hadn't brought her Walkman! She sat down on a bench, next to a young couple. As soon at Bianca sat down, the couple walked away. She had to be disgusting! The tears starting to roll down her chins again - She didn't mind the people in the park, she just needed to cry.
"What's the matter?" a voice asked, nervously. Bianca ignored the voice. She could feel, that a person sat down next to her. She looked the other way. She felt an arm on her shoulder, and she pushed it away. "C'mon, girl! Speak to me!" the voice said again. She slowly turned her head. She looked straight into the most beautiful blue eyes on the planet. She knew that it was Mark from Westlife, but she didn't care. All she wanted to do was to commit suicide. Damn the world. She turned her head again, remembering the words he said earlier on MTV. "Leave me alone..." she whispered, and stood up. Mark also stood up, with a worried look on his face. "But..." he said, but stopped, when Bianca started to walk.
She walked against the bridge. The water was clear. She almost felt guilty by ruining its nice colour. She walked to the edge, and looked down - It was deep, she knew that - A mile, at least. She took one step out, and felt the cold water on her body. She could feel her lungs being filled with water, and she started to gasp after air, but all she could inhale, was water. She gave up, and let her body hit the bottom. She started to see pictures, flashing trough her mind -Pictures of her baby sister. Her mother. Mary. Suddenly, she felt an arm around her waist. She got pulled up, and laid on the ground. She couldn't really open her eyes; she could just feel someone pounding on her chest. "Wake up!" someone yelled above her. She felt two fingers on her lip, trying to open her mouth. Then she felt a warm breath, and then a mouth on her.
She opened her eyes, and started to throw up water. She could see what was going on. A lot of people was starring at her, and Mark. Mark was wet, and breathless. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!" he said, and forced towards a smile. She looked around. Oh my god, what had she done? She looked down at her self. Her shirt tightened to her upper half. She looked at the fat, and then looked at Mark.
The people started to walk away, and Mark stood up. He reached his hand to her, and she grabbed it. She started to hide her body, with her arms. Mark picked up his coat, and rapped her with it. She felt like she was hiding enough. She sat with Mark on a bench. She knew he wouldn't let her go, before she explained. "Now... Tell me how you could do such a horrible thing!" he said, and made Bianca feel guilty. "I... I slipped." she said. He forced her to look him in the eyes. "You're lying. Tell me the truth!" he said very tough. She looked down, and the tears came bursting down her chins again. They were already wet.
Mark hugged her, but she pulled away. She felt disgusting next to him. "What? Tell me!" he almost yelled. "It's not you! It's me!" she said. "Let me hug you!" he said, in a soft and kind way. She moved closer to him, and he hugged her. She put her arms around him too. Suddenly, the coat fell of, and she quickly let go of Mark to put it on. Mark accepted it, and just smiled. "If you don't tell me, what's wrong, I'm going to throw you out again!" he said, and smiled. How could she not smile? "Describe your perfect girl..." Bianca demanded. First, Mark looked surprised, but then he got it. "Sweet, funny, romantic, loves me, unselfish...." he said, and tried to force a smile out of Bianca. "What about hot, big tits...." she said, and looked the other way. Mark put two and two together. "You think you're ugly, don't you?" he asked, and laughed. "What's so funny?! I AM fat, and you know it!!" she screamed. Mark got serious, and grabbed her. He hugged her, and whispered in her ear, "When I mean hot, I mean from inside. They need to have beauty inside!" She smiled. "Are you serious?" she asked. Mark nodded. "Let's go home to my place. We need to get undressed..." he said, but then tried to change it. Bianca just laughed at him.

When they'd changed, they sat in Marks bed. Bianca was wearing his big t-shirt, and big pants. They were laughing of some story Bianca told. "You're cute in that outfit!" he laughed. She got shy, and looked down. "Hey! Bianca! I don't want to hear it! You're not fat, you're not ugly, and you’re not big! You've got the sweetest eyes, the prettiest smile, the cutest nose, and your body is nothing to worry about!" Mark said. Bianca looked him in his eyes, "Mark, you're just saying that! You can't prove it!" she said. Mark took a deep breath, and then he kissed her. It was her first kiss ever. First it was soft and gently, and then with more passion. "I mean it, Bianca!" he said. She got surprised. "But?!" she yelled. Mark kissed her again. "You see! I can fall in love with you! Not your body!" he said. "You're in love with me?" Bianca asked, speechless. Mark nodded, and kissed her again.
A few months after, Bianca had lost so much weight, that she could be a model. She'd been together with Mark in all that time, and he was the reason, she could eat healthy, and exercise. Mark loved her, and kept doing that! Sometimes, he even wished her, to be "big" again, cause he felt guys starring at her. She enjoyed it, but enjoyed Mark the most. She loved him, for that sweet and loving guy he was.
The End.
Dedicated to all choppy girls around the world. I feel your pain! May I recommend the diet Slim-Fast? It HELPS!! :-)

True poets don't write
Their thoughts with a pen...
They release the ink that flows
From within their heart.
~ by Anonymous ~