BACK		Lovin' Each Day

By Stephanie

Prologue: ‘It’s Only Love’

“agh!!!Remind me to throw that alarm clock out the window when I get up!” I mumbled as the alarm clock went off for the third time that morning! “It’s okay babe, I’ve gotta get up anyway, have to meet the lads down at the studio to run over some things for the new album”I had to smile, seeing Shane first thing in the morning was an award! With his hair all messed up, eyes half closed – how can you not love it! I looked over at the clock, 7am, I never even knew there was such a thing as 7AM! Shane finally moved his lazy ass and got dressed.
“What are you gonna do t’day then?”
“Me? SLEEP! But, I might give Steph a call, she’s got a day off t’day”
“Send her my love, I’ve gotta run, I’ll call you later”
He said while brushing his lips against my cheek. As soon as I heard the front door close, I was already dreaming.

I loved my life, living with the man of my dreams, Shane Filan. He was everything I could ever ask for. And then there was my dreams coming true, I had graduated school, for my digrees in accountancy, the work I was enjoying at the moment. I had the bestest friend in the whole world, Stephanie, or Steph as we all called her. She really was one heck of a gal! She worked for Smash Hits, and through her I met Shane. We all went out one night, myself, Steph and the rest of Westlife, Or Westside as they were known back then, in 1998.
They were preparing for their first Smash Hits Poll Winners and Steph was their first interveiwer. They invited her out for a night and of course, she dragged me along. I hit it off with Shane from the moment we shook hands. We all know Kian has a thing for her but he’ll never show it, and since she’s still going out with her high school sweet heart, I don’t think now is the right time for him to express his feelings…

Chapter One: ‘Heat Of The Night’

What a day! I thought as I threw my car keys on the kitchen table with the bags of shopping.
“Want help putting those things away?”
“Yea please”
I said while loading the stuff onto the table. I was preoccupied today, and I don’t know why…but I did know one thing, that Steph had noticed. One thing I didn’t like about Steph, she’d never ask me about my feelings, if she knew I was in a bad mood, she’d never ask why. I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing. I was broken out of my thought by the crash of glass on the floor.
“SHIT!”
Stephanie turned around quickly, jumped by the noise.
“Emma, are you okay?”
“Yea, just dropped a mug off the table.”
As I bent down to pick it up, I heard Steph giggle and was about to get up when two hands covered my eyes. Only one person in the whole world could have soft hands like that. Shane. I smiled and got up. He removed his hands and gave me a kiss.
“Hey girls, Done the shopping I see?”
He said sarcastically.
“The lads are coming around tonight, did you get popcorn…”
“Catch!”
Steph said, and threw him the box of microwave popcorn, He smiled and gave her a wink. I’m glad Steph and Shane got on, it would be really hard on me if they didn’t, having to prevent them from being in the house, or around me at the same time. It would be…. How do we put it, difficult! The doorbell rang.
“Oh, that’s probably them, and KIAN!”
Shane said, laughing and giving a look to Steph as if to say ‘woooooo – Kian!!!’ Stephanie laughed, and looked at me, rolling her eyes at his childish expressions.
“I’m perfectly happy with John, Shane, thank you very much! No matter how sweet or gorgeous Kian Egan happens to be!!”
“Oh, so he’s gorgeous now!?”
“You know what I mean!”
“I’ll let them in!”
I moaned, I didn’t know what was wrong with me t’day…maybe I was coming down with the flu, or something worse….
The night was good. We all sat round chatting and eating popcorn. Steph couldn’t resist but do a bit of harmless flirting with Kian, which he loved! All I wanted to do was go to bed. I was feeling really bad by now and couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. Shane kept looking at me and asking me if I was alright. I didn’t want him to think anything was wrong so naturally I just said I was fine with a very unconvincing smile on my face. As it got later and the lads started to leave, I said my byes and started to clear up in the room. Steph still didn’t ask what was wrong with me and more than anything I wanted her to know. I don’t know why I just wanted to talk to someone!
When everyone had gone Shane helped me and Steph to finish the clearing up and then we sat in the room again with a cup of tea.
“Oh god I can’t wait to get into bed tonight, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I really feel like shit today!”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine in the morning” Steph reassured me with a smile.
“God I hope so, today has been horrible, just don’t know what it is!”
Steph and Shane exchanged a look of worry. I don’t know why but it made me feel uneasy. I finished my drink and went up to bed.
“Night everyone. I really am tired so I’ll see you in the morning”
“Ok then babe I will be up in a minute. Just finish off this drink,” Shane said as he gave me a kiss.
“Ok then darl, see ya tomorrow Steph.” I left them to it and went up to bed. I hadn’t been up there long and I was asleep!
While Emma was upstairs sleeping, Steph and Shane were still chatting downstairs in the living room. “I wonder what’s wrong with Ems?” Steph asked, handing another cup of tea to Shane. “MMMM….Don’t know. Hope it’s not anything serious” He said, sipping some of his drink. Steph flicked through the channels and stopped at MTV. There was some kind of beach party on and they were all dancing in swim gear to the Offsprings ‘Pretty Fly For A White Boy’. “I love this song!” She said, standing up on the table. With all the coffee and tea she drank that night, she was fully awake and sleeping was the last thing on her mind. Shane was laughing by this point and stood up to join her. He was about to stand up on the table when she tripped, causing both of them to fall back on the sofa and laughing hysterically. “You’re crazy!” He laughed. She slapped him playfully on the chest when suddenly Shane’s face turned from all smiles to a serious one.
Stephanie knew what was about to happen and didn’t do anything to stop it. One minute they were dancing around the living room and the next they were kissing passionately on the sofa. Shane started to unbotton her jeans while she ripped open his shirt, kissing him hungerly all over his chest. “I love you Steph” He whispered. “I love you too” She could just about say. Her body was going wild. Anytime Shane’s skin would touch hers, she’d feel some kind of electric strike through her body. Both body’s moved in rhythm all night, mad and passionately.
Stephanie opened her eyes slowly. She was about to get up when she was aware of some sort of weight stretched across her stomach. She looked over and saw Shane sleeping next to her. ‘Oh No!’ She thought while rubbing her eyes. ‘What have I done?’ She checked her watch. 6am. ‘Shane, Shane’ She whispered, shanking him gently. “What?” He asked, whith his eyes still closed, thinking he was in bed with Emma. He opened his eyes to find Steph staring down at him. “Get up! Come on, Emma could come downstairs any minute!” The memory of last night came back to him. Himself and Steph. He smiled. He really did love her, maybe she said it because of all the passion and that she’d say anything to keep it alive, but he really did mean it. “Shane come on! I’m not joking!” She said while quickly putting her jeans on. “Fine FILAN! You stay there, I’m going home to take a shower. But before I go, Shane, about us, it was just the heat of the night, right?”
“Yea, it was, a huge mistake” It couldn’t be further from the truth. Shane was glad that it happened, ever since Steph interveiwed them for the first time, he liked her. The night himself and Ems got together was the night that he was going to ask Steph out, but unfortunetly, her boyfriend tagged along with her the same night. That broke Shane’s heart, seeing them both all over each other. So he tried Emma. Don’t get the wrong idea, he was as mad after Ems as he was after Steph. He was happy about himself and Emma but having sex with Steph changed all of that.
“Good. We’ll talk later ok?” He nodded and she left.

Chapter Two: ‘Friends Forever’

A week later…
Shane was woken up by Emma get sick again. He sighed. This was the forth time this morning. He was really worried about her, but more worried about her finding out about Steph. What would happen? He got up and went into the bathroom where he found her thrown on the floor, unconscious. “Shit! Emma!!! Emma!!!” He said, slightly slapping her face. Now he was really worried. He grabbed his mobile and called for an ambulance. It came immediately and brought her to Accident and Emergency.
He was waiting in the waiting area when Steph walked in. “Oh my god Shane, Kian just rang me and told me” Shane had rang the boys before and told them why he couldn’t make it to work. They said that they’d be over as soon as they could. “Are you okay Shane?” This was really awkward, Steph and Shane hadn’t spoken since them having sex. Stephanie kept herself busy with interviews or any other job she could find so that she wouldn’t have to face him. Anytime Emma would call, asking her over to dinner, the only excuse she gave was ‘I’m busy.’ “Steph, I’m so scared. I heard her throwing up so I ran to the bathroom and found her there, lying down on the floor, but she wasn’t there, I know she wasn’t! It wasn’t Emma! She was pale, had cold sweat, it was horrible Steph!” He said in one mad panic. “It’s ok Shane, everything will be ok” She said, wrapping her arms around him. She was scared herself but had to be strong for Shane’s sake. He looked up at her. “Thanks Steph, I really need you now, the doctor said that it was unusual as they couldn’t find anything wrong with her.” He stopped and stared at the floor. “Don’t worry Shane, I’m her” He looked at her again. “Friends forever Steph?”
“Of course” She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.
“Hey Hun, I parked the car” Shane looked up it was John. “Awww, thanks babe” She said, giving him a little kiss on the lips. Shane glanced over at her. He couldn’t believe it, the way she treated John was like nothing happened between them and suddenly Emma was the last thing on Shane’s mind. “Where’s the bathrooms here?” John asked, looking at Shane. “Ammm….Down the hall, to your left, I think” John nodded and went off. “How can you do that?” Shane asked, standing up. “Do what?”
“Oh come on Steph, did you tell John about us?”
“No”
“Exactly, you treat him like nothing happened. Don’t you feel guilty? Even the slightest bit?”
“Of course I do Shane! But I don’t exactly see you running to Emma telling her.”
“Steph! I haven’t slept since it happened! Worrying every night that she’ll find out. I don’t want to hurt her, I’d never do that to her.”
“I know Shane, but how do you think I feel. I feel so guilty!” She said and walked off, bumping into Kian and Nicky that were standing behind her.
“How long have you two been standing there?” Steph shouted. She was scared that they’d heard everything.
“Long enough.” Nicky looked at Shane as he spoke, while Kian just stared at Steph.
“It’s not what you think…” Shane said.
“Isn’t it?” Nicky replied. “Look Shane, this is none of our business, but Emma’s lying in the next room…she loves you, she needs you. Don’t leave her when she needs you the most.”
“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about Nicky.” Steph said. “It’s all a misunderstanding.”
As she spoke, she was aware of Shane’s eyes on her. She turned around, taking one last look at Shane and left. Just then John came back and seen Stephanie leave. “Where’s she going?” They all looked at Shane but he didn’t give an answer. John shook his head and decided to follow Steph.
He found her outside, sitting on the steps that lead to the entrance of the hospital. “Steph, are you ok?” She looked up, tears flowing freely down her face. He sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms. “Sssshhhh, it’ll be ok, Emma will be fine”
“It’s not Emma that’s bothering me!”
“What then?”
“Why does love have to be so complicated?!”
“What?” John asked, confused.
“John, I have something to tell you. I should have told you once it happened no, I mean I shouldn’t have let it happen. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.”
“Wha….What is it Steph?” He was afraid to ask. He loved Steph more than life it self and losing her would mean losing his second half.
“John, about a week ago, I….I slept with Shane”
“WHAT!?”
“John, don’t shout…”
“DON’T! Don’t tell me what to do! How could you!?” After that he calmed down.
And then asked, slowly and quietly “Was it a mistake?”
“YES! No….I mean, oh I don’t know!”
“Yes or no, Steph?”
“Fine! NO! It wasn’t, John, we’ve been together 5 or 6 years…”
“6” He corrected her.
“Fine, we’ve been together 6 years and it’s been the same every single day. We get up, I go to work, you go to work, we come back, have dinner, watch TV and go to bed. That’s it! Every single day! You never take me out, you say you love me but you don’t show it! I’m sorry John, I care for you…but I love Shane.”
Steph could see tears build up in his eyes. She couldn’t stand to see him like this. “Amm…I should go in and see how Emma is. Good bye John” She stood up and turned around to find Shane standing in the doorway. He had heard everything and she knew by the look on his face that he knew, that he heard everything she said. They made eye contact for what seemed like forever. Steph broke away and went inside, avoiding Shane.
“I hope you’re happy.” John said, standing up. Shane didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted Steph, he knew that much, but he didn’t want to hurt Emma.
“Just don’t forget that will you?” John said as he walked away. Shane saw how hurt he was; he hated putting him through this but what else could he do? And anyway, he didn’t ask Steph to tell him. He looked at the hospital and thought of Emma. He loved Steph, but he really did care for Emma. He didn’t want to hurt her, but it was too late for that. He’d already done it, only Emma didn’t know that. Shane slowly walked back into the hospital, and through to Emma’s room where the sight waiting for him was enough to make him forget everything that had happened. There were various doctors and nurses all swarming about, and in the corner of the room he saw Steph, Kian and Nicky. Steph was crying and the lads were comforting her.
“What the hell’s going on?” Shane said.
Kian walked over to him. “It’s Emma…she had some sort of fit, they don’t know for sure.”
“But why didn’t anyone tell me? She is my girlfriend for god’s sake!”
“There wasn’t time, they had to help Emma, they couldn’t think about anything else!”
Shane watched as the doctor injected something into Emma’s arm.
“What’s happening now?” Shane asked as he walked over to the side of the bed and took Emma’s hand in his.

Chapter Three: ‘Don’t Let Me Leave’

“Kian, if Emma wakes up, tell her I’ll be around tomorrow.”
“Yea sure, are ya leaving?”
“Yea, bye guys” Nicky and Kian said good-bye but Shane didn’t, he was too busy thinking about Emma. Seeing all of the doctors around her yesterday scared him. What if he did loose her? Maybe he loved Steph but Emma still played a big part in his life. They had been through thick and thin together.
When Stephanie was walking through the hospital, she was thinking about Shane and Emma. She had to get out of there. Seeing Shane all over Emma made her feel left out. What if Shane didn’t love her? He agreed that it was a mistake. She ruined her 6 year old relationship for some one-night stand, how could she have been so stupid?
When she arrived home, she took a warm bath. Yesterday and today were very uneasy. Seeing her best friend lying in bed with tubes coming out of every place they could be put in, and not knowing what was wrong with her was very bothering. It had been a few hours since she left the hospital, maybe she’d ring Kian and find out if anything had changed. She was fully relaxed when the doorbell rang. ‘For fuck sake!’ She thought, standing up to put her bathrobe on. She ran downstairs, shivering with drops of water following her from her wet hair. This time it was a loud knock.
“COMING!!” She opened the door and to her surprise she found Shane there. “Shane? What? Is it Emma!?” “No, she’s still the same. But the doctors found out what was wrong with her.” Shane walked into the sitting room. “What is it?” “She’s pregnant…and she didn’t have enough fibre or vitamins in her body to keep strength for two. She thought she was getting fat so she started to eat less. That’s what they think anyway but the baby’s fine”
“Oh my god Shane, she’s pregnant! That’s great!” She said, wrapping her arms around his neck but Shane’s arms stayed by his side. “Shane, what’s wrong?” “The baby, it’s not mine” Stephanie laughed nervously. “What d’ya mean? How do you know?”
“Because the doctors asked me if I could be a blood donor for the baby, since they thought I was the dad. The baby didn’t have enough blood so when they took mine they said that our DNA didn’t match. They told me that I wasn’t the father.”
“Oh my god, do they know who it is?”
“Yea…Mark” Stephanie gasped. This couldn’t be. Emma….and Mark!? No…there had to be some kind of mistake. But then, poor Shane. She felt so sorry for him, what a way o find out. “Anyway, I just thought I’d tell you, since you are her best friend”
“Shay, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be!”
He walked as far as the front door. He turned around to face Stephanie who was standing in the middle of the living room, still in shock. “Steph?”
“Yea?”
“Please…Don’t let me leave” She looked at him, not knowing what to do. Her heart was saying stay but her mind kept wondering back to poor Emma, stuck in that hospital bed. She started fidgeting with her rings while she spoke. “Shane, I would honestly love you to stay, but it wouldn’t be right. I’m sorry” He nodded and left. ‘That’s Steph for ya’ he thought, walking away from her house. ‘Always putting other people first’ He turned around and see her shadow walking past her bedroom window. He sighed and left.

Chapter Four: ‘Black Eyes, Blue Tears…I don’t need ‘em’

I opened my eyes to see Steph reading a magazine while eating an apple at the same time. “Hey sleepy! You’re awake!” Steph said, smiling as usual. “Where am I? Where’s Shane?” I asked. Forget about me, I wanted Shane. Just then I saw him walk in with a bottle of water in his arm. “Hey Steph, this was all they had….Ems! You’re awake!” I didn’t hear what he said. I was trying to remember everything. Where was I? Why? For how long? “What has been going on?” I asked, trying to sit up in bed. Steph rushed to my side to help me but Shane just stood there with no emotion in his face.
“A few days ago I found you on the bathroom floor. You had been sick all morning and when I went to check if you were ok you had passed out. I got you straight here and you have been unconscious since. We have all been really worried about you” Shane replied. Steph put her hand on Shane’s shoulder to comfort him. He had really been feeling down since he found out about the baby not being his. “Yeah you gave us such a shock, but at least you are back with us now” Steph added. “Well has anyone said what is wrong and when I can come home?” I suddenly felt uneasy. Steph looked at Steph and Shane looked at me. There was definitely something up. Steph can you leave us alone a minute? This won’t take long” Steph nodded and left them to it. “No its not that bad…well, yeah it is!” I looked from Steph to Shane about seven times in a row. Why would Steph have to leave? “What…..What’s wrong?”
“Ems…” He cleared his throat. “Emma…You’re pregnant, don’t worry thought, the baby’s fine.” He swallowed hard. “Ah!! I’m pregnant!! Oh my god!! Shay, we’re gonna have a little tiny tot!” I laughed. Shane looked at the floor. “No Ems…You’re gonna have a kid”
“What? Shane…Don’t be stupid, it takes two to tango!” I smiled, I just couldn’t stop. I was gonna have a child with Shane! What could any other girl want?
“Emma, It’s not mine…I know it’s Marks.” I couldn’t believe it. What!? This couldn’t be true. It was just on stupid night a while back, I couldn’t be pregnant by that, could I? But, why was Shane so calm? Again, I heard him speak softly. “Emma….Why? Did I know satisfy you enough? Was I selfish? I thought you loved me!”
“Shane…baby, I’m sorry. I was just one night…”
“Emma, don’t bother” And he left. I watched his every single move until he was out of sight. Why? Why? Why?

Shane met Stephanie in her car. “Ready?”
“Yea, let’s go home” Shane said, putting on his seatbelt. Steph pulled out onto the road. “Well?”
“Well What?”
“How is she?”
“Oh she’s fine. Gave me all the shit that it was a mistake and would I forgive her, how can I though?”
Steph looked at Shane stunned.
“So you told her about us then did you?”
“Don’t be stupid…I don’t think she’s ready for that yet”
“Oh my god…you are both as bad as each other. Why didn’t you tell her then, now you have to make her feel guilty for what’s she’s done and you have done the same thing. She’ll find out sooner or later you know. You should have done it then” Stephanie pulled into Shane’s driveway. He grabbed her hand. “Steph, it’s hard. It was just the natural reaction. I didn’t shout or anything. I kept calm. I mind kept running back to that passionate night we had. I didn’t mean to make her feel guilty…you know that I would never EVER do anything to hurt Emma.”
Stephanie kept eye contact with him and nodded. Slowly, their faces met again. Softly and passionately, they kissed again. Steph mover her hand up to his cheek, again, her mind kept thinking of Emma so she pulled back. “I’m sorry Shane, but I…”
“I know Steph” He said sadly and left. She rested her head on the steering wheel. “Why? Why must I love him so much!?” She whispered to herself. He looked back at her one more time and then she drove off.

Chapter Five: ‘Heartbreaker’

Steph and Shane spent the last few days talking about them, Emma, Mark and the baby. They were in a restaurant and had just ordered. “Shane, please. You haven’t spoken to any of the guys since all of this and I feel guilty cause of it…”
“But you don’t have to…”
“Well I do! I can’t wait until all of this ends!” She said, stirring her drink with the spoon that was left on the table. “Anyways, you’re gonna have to face them sometime, wouldn’t you rather it be soon that later?”
“Later!”
“Shane?” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Fine! Can I finish my lunch first?” He smiled. “Oh ok, just this time though. Next time I give you something to do, you’re gonna have to do it as soon as I click my fingers” They both laughed. “So, besides that, what are you gonna do t’day?” She asked, taking a bite into her biscuit. “I don’t know. Might go and give Ems a visit. You?”
“Yea, I’ll probably do the same. But first I’ve gotta go shopping for a new outfit.”
“What for?”
“Remember? My sister’s 16th is there in 2 weeks time.”
“Oh that’s right, how is she? I haven’t seen her in ages.”
“She’s fine. You guys are still coming, right?”
“Yea…I suppose”

An hour later, Shane was parked outside Nicky’s house. He didn’t know weather to go, or stay. He tapped his fingers nervously on the dashboard while thinking.
‘Fuck it’ He thought while getting out of his car. He let himself in, he had his own key so he didn’t bother knocking. He walked into the living room, finding the rest of Westlife there. He thought he could be strong, if not for him, then for Steph. But making eye contact with Mark changed all of that. He couldn’t face him, not yet anyway. He turned around and headed back out to his car.
Just as he walked out of the front door, he heard Mark behind him.
“Shane, What’s your problem?”
“Oh just fuck off Mark” Just then, Nicky joined in. “Where are ya going Shane?”
“What d’ya mean ‘fuck off’!? What did I do wrong!?” Shane couldn’t take him. If it weren’t for Nicky, Mark would probably have a black eye by now. He had to keep calm. “Shane, What’s wrong?”
“Why don’t you tell him Mark?”
“Well I’d be happy to If I knew!” Shane looked at him, and then to Nicky.
“Emma is pregnant…but it’s not because of me! It’s because of that prick!” He said and stormed off. Nicky and Mark looked at each other in total shock.
“Mark…is it possible?” Slowly he nodded. “But it was only one night! It couldn’t be!”
“Did no one ever explain to you about the birds and the bees mate…it only takes one stupid night!” Nicky said and left him outside to think.
Shane drove as far as the hospital to go and visit Emma. He couldn’t take it anymore. While driving, he also did a bit of thinking. It was Steph he wanted now, it was her he loved. Not Emma. Sure Emma was Emma…..and he loved her so much, but as a friend. He met Steph in the cafeteria, buying a few magazines for Emma.
“Hey babe”
“Oh, Hi! What are you doing here?”
”Ammm….well….Emma’s here, she’s sick….” He said, teasing Steph in a dumb voice. She laughed and paid for her stuff. “But to be serious, I’m here to tell Ems about us. And that I love you, that I want to be with you” Steph was stunned. She could hardly breathe. She searched his face for traces of something but couldn’t find anything. “Shane…”
“No Steph, I don’t care what you say, this is what I want. Have you seen her yet?” Steph shook her head. “Ok, you stay here and I’ll tell you what happens.” She nodded and Shane walked off. She still couldn’t talk. Did she really want this? Yes, Yea she did. She was mad and angry, for wanting to take Emma’s man but she also happy and excited that it was Shane who made that decision.

In Emma’s Room….

I couldn’t stop crying and shaking. Why? Why did this have to happen to me? I was leaning against the wall, staring out of the window. I heard someone come in and turned around to see who it was. Shane. I ran over to him and hugged him. I wouldn’t let go. I was shaking uncontrollably. “Emma…what’s wrong?”
“Shane….I…..I…..the……the…..”
“Emma, Hun, you need to calm down. Ssshhhhh, it’s ok. Just tell me what happened”
“The…the….baby, it’s gone! I…..I…..lost…..lost…..lost….the…the…baby!” And a whole bunch of fresh tears came. Shane sighed, holding onto her. This wasn’t right.
“Emma, it’s ok, I’m here and I’ll never ever leave you. I love you so much, a love that’s endless” Hearing that from Shane made me feel a lot better. He led me over to my bed and went to go and get me some water.

Shane walked down the hall. He turned the corner to see Stephanie sitting on the floor crying. “Steph?” He asked, to make sure it was her. She stood up, drying her face with her hands. He put his arm around her but she shook it off. “Don’t touch me Shane!”
“Steph, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, What are you gonna do now? Take me into a tight hug and tell me that you’ll never leave me, that you love me and that our love is endless?” Shane looked at her. “You…you heard?” She nodded, slowly crying. “Why? Why do you always have to get my hopes up and then let them down like that” She said, clicking her fingers. “She needs me…” Steph couldn’t take look at his face any longer. She kept shaking her head slightly and walking backwards. “Bye Shane” He stood there looking at her, watching her slowly slip away. “I love you” She whispered and blew him a kiss before walking off. “Steph!” He called out but she kept on walking.

Chapter Six: ‘It’s The Falling In Love’

“Ok Shane, I’m done!” I screamed out loud from upstairs. It’s been almost a year since the baby died and I picked up my life pretty quickly. I broke the news to Mark which was probably one of the worst things I ever had to do. Myself and Shane are engaged, for the past few months.
When I got out of the hospital, I had found out that Steph left. She left me a note telling me that she was sick of the place. It was really weird. She said that she didn’t know where but that we’d always keep in touch. I was so upset. She had been my best friend ever since I can remember and for her to go so sudden was really hard for me, especially after what I had gone through but I haven’t heard from her since.

Shane sat in the car. Westlife were off to America t’day and Emma was invited along. He opened his wallet to find a picture of himself, Ems and Steph. He smiled. He had missed her so much since she left but it was his on fault. He had been a coward and now that he didn’t know where she was, he had asked Emma to marry him. He knew it was the wrong thing to do but he was scared of ending up alone, living his life by himself, not being able to share his thoughts, dreams, feelings or hears with anyone but himself. He sighed. She had been gone a year and there wasn’t one night that pasted that she wasn’t missed by him. She scent, her smile…herself. ‘It must be the falling in love’ he thought before glancing at the front door and seen Emma on her way out. ‘Finally!’ He thought. “Hey Hun, k, I’m ready!” Shane smiled. “Ready to rock and roll?”
“Yup!” She laughed and off they went.

The Next Day…9am

I rolled over to find that I was alone in the bed. I panicked at first but then I heard Shane’s voice. He was singing out on the balcony and was fully dressed. I smiled and stretched before walking over to him, placing my arms around his waist. “We’re finally in L.A, Shane” He placed his hands on mine. “Isn’t it beautiful?” He asked, nodding to the view that lay out in front of us. “Yea…it really is” I sighed. Life couldn’t get more perfect than this.

At the same time…somewhere across town

“Yea, yea, ok. So let me run that by you again” Lorna said into her mobile phone, walking quickly down the street. She was already late for work but her bossed loved her. He was about 65 years old, small and round with a bald patch placed on the middle of his head. “But I don’t get it, if you have to work late, what about Paul? I thought you were seeing him tonight? Oh, right, now I get it. So you’re working in ‘Blue Eyes’ tonight so you want me to bring Paul around with me when I come to see you there? Yea?” She smiled. She had finally gotten it right. “Alright Hun, I gotta go. See ya tonight. Bye” She hung up and entered the restaurant she was working in. “Sorry Joe” She yelled to the boss that was in the kitchen. “It’s okay” He shouted back, in his Italian accent. She quickly put on her apron and headed to the table where to guys sat.
“Good morning boys, what will it be?”
“I’ll have a full Irish breakfast with orange juice, please”
“And I’ll have the same” The second guy said.

“She’s pretty cute!” Bryan whispered to Kian as she came walking over with their orders. They decided to eat out this morning since it was their first day in America. They didn’t bother asking the rest, thinking that Nicky would be too busy with Gina, same as Emma and Shane, and that Mark, well…would still be asleep, as always.
Kian smiled at his friend. Bryan was right, she was cute. Beautiful even. She had shoulder length light blond hair, blue eyes and a stunning body. He read her nametag. Lorna.

Later That Night…

“Okay guys, where are we off too?” Nicky asked, walking down the stairs, holding Gina’s hand. “I heard of this new club called Blue Eyes, a waitress recommended to myself and Bryan this morning. Wanna try it?” Shane looked at Emma, raising his eyebrows, in other words, asking if that was all right. “Yea sure, why not?”
The minute they entered it, they loved it. The atmosphere was amazing, full of young adults having the time of their lives. “Right, who’s buying the first round?” Bryan asked, rubbing his hands together and licking his lips, making the rest laugh. “I might as well, yeez can go and find a place to sit” Shane said and headed for the bar. He waited and waited. It was packed so he did what everyone else was doing. “Hey! Can I have seven beers please?” He shouted over the bar. “Yea sure, here ya go” A young girl said and turned around to place them on the table. “$15 please?” She asked. He handed her the money, but when she came over to hand him his change, she got the shock of her life. “Shane?” She whispered, nearly falling. He looked up, thinking ‘Oh no, not another fan’ until he copped on to who it was. “Steph?” Then before she could answer, she heard her best friend calling her. “STEPH!! STEPH!! OVER HERE! I WANT A BEER AND SO DOES PAUL!” I nodded back, giving them a smile. “
Look I’ve gotta go but I’ll see you later no doubt” Steph said to Shane before walking off. “Yeah see you later” He was in total shock. He didn’t know what to do or say, never would he have thought coming on this trip would mean finding Steph.
“Hey come on mate…what are you doing making the beer?” Bryan joked as he saw Shane stood at the bar. Shane snapped out of his thoughts and picked up the tray to take back to the table. “Finally! A guy could die of thirst waiting for you” Bryan said as he snatched the drink off the tray and put it straight to his mouth. “Ahh…that’s exactly what I need!” He said, rubbing his stomach before burping. “ Bryan!” Gina shouted. “What?” He asked looking around, thinking she was talking to some other Bryan. She laughed and shook her head.
“Are you ok Hun…you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Emma asked Shane as he took a mouthful of his drink. “Yeah I’m fine but you never guess who I have just seen serving at the bar…Steph”
“Oh my god you’re kidding…where?” Emma asked as she looked around. “At the bar.” Straight away Emma got up and made her way to the bar to find Steph. She hadn’t seen or heard from her in a year and she was desperate to see her. As she walked up to the bar Steph turned round to serve someone and Emma spotted her straight away. “Arrrggggghhhhhh…it really is you!” Emma shouted as she saw Steph. Steph looked at her shocked. “Shane said you were here and you are! Oh my god how have you been Hun?”
“Emma…where did you come from?”
“Over there with them lot.” I replied as I nodded over to the rest of the lads. “So you’re here with them then? Look Emma I’m sorry I took off without saying bye but I really needed to get away from there it was doing my head in. I did the same thing day after day, I needed something new to do and here I am”
“Look don’t worry about it I am so pleased to see you again. I can’t believe it though. You’ll have to come over and sit with us if you get the chance. Even better still come and spend the day with us tomorrow. They are gonna be busy most of the day so you can keep me company and then when they are done we can all do something” Steph looked at Emma and then at Shane before saying another word. “Yeah that sounds ok! So you and Shane…are you back together?”
“Yeah after everything that happened last year we got back together and a few months ago we got engaged” I enthused as I showed her the ring. Steph looked at the ring and then up at Emma. “Congratulations” Steph said, giving her a fake smile and made some excuse to leave. She walked over to her best friend Lorna and boyfriend, Paul. “Hey guys, I hate this job!” She said, sitting in the booth with them, sighing heavily. “Hi there” Paul said, in a cocky voice that made her giggle just before kissing him. Suddenly she heard a huge roar. “STEPH!!!!!!”
She looked up. “BRY!!!!!” She ran over to him, jumping up for a hug with her legs wrapped around his waist. “Babe! How are ya!?” She asked while he twirled her around.
Shane laughed at the sight. God, he really did miss her. That smile. “It’s great to have her back, isn’t it?” Kian whispered to Shane. “It’s sure is, Ki.” He smiled, taking another drink out of his bottle of beer. Kian sat back and watched them. Not Steph, but the other 2 in the booth. It was Lorna and some guy. ‘I wonder if it’s her boyfriend’ He thought. He was utterly head over heels over this girl. Just then Bryan’s favourite song came on ‘Pretty Fly For A White Guy’ He put Steph down and ran out onto the dance floor. She laughed and sat back near Lorna while Paul went to get more drinks. As the song continued she caught Shane looking at her and memories came flooding back. She put up a front, pretending that it didn’t mean anything, but little did he know that the song meant everything to her. After that, Boys to Men’s song ‘I’ll make love to you’ came on. Paul and Steph were out on the dance floor. As they were swaying along to the music, so were Shane’s eyes. He follow ed her every move. He had to get out of there, he hated seeing Steph with another guy.

Chapter Seven: ‘Can’t Stop This Thing We Started’

Stephanie waited nervously in lobby. She was really excited about the day ahead. But what she didn’t know was that so was Shane. He couldn’t even sleep the night before, thinking about her, how faith had brought them together again. She heard Emma’s laughing coming from the stairway ‘Here they come’ Steph thought to herself. She stood up to greet them, straightening her clothes. She smiled as she seen Emma on her way over, with Shane.
Emma laughed as she seen Steph. She looked gorgeous with her shorts and crop top on, she also had the most amazing tan. “I am so pleased you came with us Hun,” Emma said as she ran over to hug Steph. Steph wearily hugged her back and stared at Shane from over Emma’s shoulder. With just eye contact, all feelings were born again. It was like a film when everything goes in slow motion. She could hear Emma talking but couldn’t hear a word she was saying. “Hi there Steph…good to see you again” Shane said as he got to where we were stood. He hugged her and as he was stood there took in a deep breath. Oh how he missed her scent, even the way she hugged. “How are ya then Filan? Still looking after Ems?” Steph said begrudgingly. Not that she hated Emma but she wanted to be with Shane not Emma with Shane. “Yeah I’m good, and of course I’m looking after her. I’ve gotta say you’re looking good” he said as he looked her up and down and smiled. “Hey less of that otherwise you’ll get me fee ling paranoid and jealous” Emma laughed as she put her arms around Shane’s waist. Shane and Steph didn’t laugh along, only looked at each other. “Anyway you two enjoy you’re day and we will meet you back here in a couple of hours” Shane said as he walked off to the other lads. Steph said bye as Emma went to kiss Shane but he pulled away quick and gave her a half smile before walking away. “Right lads, let’s go and get some girls horny!” Bryan said, nodding to the crowd of girls that were outside of the hotel. Shane laughed placing his hand on Bryan’s shoulder. “What would Westlife be without ya!?”

That day, Steph and Emma were meant to go shopping but spent their time talking.
Time flew by as they drank cups of coffee over tears of joy cause by old memories. “Remember when Bryan picked Shane up but they both fell!” Steph cried out. Emma could hardly talk with the laughter so she nodded instead. She caught a glimpse of her watch. “Shit! Come on Steph, we’ve only got half an hour left to get ready for a night out with guys!”
“Where are we going?”
“I don’t know, I think Nicky wanted to go to some karaoke bar tonight”
“Cool, as long as I don’t have to sing!” Steph laughed as they exited the little café. “Oh no, it’s pouring with rain!” Emma moaned. “What’s wrong? Don’t you like the rain? Come on! We’ll run back to hotel, it’s only a few blocks from here” She said grabbing her hand. Both friends ran through the rain, laughing hysterically.
When they finally made it to Emma’s hotel room, Shane was already in there. “Where have you two been?” He laughed at the site of them. But they couldn’t answer. They were still laughing. “Oh my god, I’ve never laughed so much in my life!” Steph said, throwing herself on the double bed where Shane was sitting.
“SHIT!” She said, jumping up making Shane jump too. Again, Emma and Steph started laughing at the sight of his face. Shane had to laugh along. Finally when they stopped, Steph spoke again. “I don’t have anything to wear for tonight! I didn’t bring spare clothes with me! Emma, you have to lend me some!”
“Yea sure, hold on and I’ll get some.” She said, while going through her wardrobe. “Ok, How about this?” She asked, holding up a pair of jeans that were ripped at the sides, all the way up to the thigh, with a white string top and a black one over it. “Oh my god, that’s gorgeous Ems!” She screamed while snatching them off of her. “K, I’ll change in the bathroom.” Steph said, closing the door after her.

That night, Shane and Steph did nothing but stare at each other. Suddenly the crowd started clapping. It was Emma, she was up on stage and was about to start singing. “I’d like to dedicate this song to the love of my life” She said before starting on Shania Twain’s from this moment. Halfway through the song, Steph glanced at Shane. He had a sparkle in his eye. She knew there and then that the only thing Shane had for Steph last year was lust, not love. She got up to leave. “Where are you going?” Shane asked. “Home!” And she left. Shane didn’t know what to do, but he did what felt right. He ran after her. He wasn’t going to let her leave like before. He found her outside, waiting for a cab. “Steph, why are you going home?”
“Shane, tell me, did you ever love me?” She got straight to the point. Shane was a bit taken back by this but felt like they should talk about it. “Steph, of course I do and…”
“THEN WHY ARE YOU MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE!?” She shouted. “Steph, it’s not like that! Ever since that day, well Emma has needed me. I had every intention of getting her through it and then telling her about us. When I came back from the hospital and you were gone…I just didn’t know what to do. You broke my heart, I missed you like crazy…everything! The way you smelt, the way you looked first thing in a morning, your laugh…look everything…I want you” With that Shane went to kiss Steph. For the first few seconds she enjoyed the moment and realised how much she had missed him. Everything that she was feeling inside for Shane came out in that one kiss.
“SHANE! STEPH?!” Emma stood behind them. “Emma…I….I” Steph couldn’t talk, either could Shane. They got so lost in that kiss that they forgot they were public. “Oh save it Steph! Don’t ever talk to me again! You too Filan!” She said, throwing her engagement ring at him. Unknowing to Shane, Steph was already in the cab and pulling out onto the road. When Shane turned around she was gone. He looked back and forth, thinking ‘Steph or Emma’. Then he focused on the engagement ring.
He decided to back inside. He spotted Kian and Lorna on the dance floor, he didn’t want to disturb them but he had to. He tapped Lorna on the shoulder and whispered something into her ear.

“AGH!!! I hate men!” Steph shouted down the phone to her other mate, Vicky. Vicky started laughing. “What has Paul done now!?”
“SHIT! PAUL! I totally forgot about him! Oh my god, I’m so stupid!” She said, slapping herself on her forehead before falling back on her bed. “Steph, Hun, what the fuck are ya talking about?!” Then there was a knock at the door. “There’s someone at the door Vix, it’s probably Paul. Look, I’ll call ya back later.” Steph ran over to the door. “Bryan! What are you doing here?” Bryan smiled. “What?! So I’m not allowed to visit ya now without an excuse?”
“Well, it’s 2am….but then again you are BRYAN!” She laughed, letting him in.
“So, what’s up?”
“Steph, if I ask you something, will you confide in me and answer me truthfully?”
“Bryan, you’re scaring me! Since when did you start using big words?”
“Steph! I’m serious!”
“Okay, Okay, Okay! Go on then…what?”
“What’s going on with you and Shanno?” Steph sighed, sitting down on the sofa while Bryan sat down on the one seater. “Okay, Bryan, d’ya wanna hear the long story, or the short?”
“The long, I’ve got a day off tomorrow so sleep is the last thing on my mind”
“Isn’t it always?” She laughed as she sat on his knee. “You know me too well!”
“Okay, well, last year….” She confessed everything to Bryan that night, he was the first person she had ever told. She felt like she could tell him anything, anywhere, anytime. After awhile she fell asleep on him but soon later woke up to the noise of the door handle. She opened her eyes slowly to see Lorna, Kian and Shane’s voice. “You two look nice and cosy!” Shane said, violently. Steph didn’t bother answering back, first she had to think about herself. Where she was and why Shane said such a comment. She looked around to find Bryan and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Even Lorna had to admit that such a position looked as if they were more than just mates. Steph jumped up off Bryan’s knee, shocked at first but then remembered the night before.
“Look nothings been going on. We were sat talking and Steph fell asleep” Bryan finally replied.
“Well that’s not the way it looks to me” Shane answered “Steph I came round here to talk to you about last night but it doesn’t matter now…I can see I’ve got you at a bad time!” Shane left. “Oh my god can you believe the nerve of him?” Steph shouted as she paced the floor. “Steph what has been going on…what about Paul?” Lorna asked as she watched Steph. “Oh shit yeah Paul…I was meant to ring him but it was late last night when me and Bryan finished chatting and I just fell asleep…shit…I’ll have to call him”
“That still doesn’t explain all this though does it? I walk in with Shane…who is clearly not impressed to see you asleep on Bryan’s knee! Why would you be asleep on his knee and why would Shane be so bothered! And why would he wanna talk to you about what went on last night?” Lorna said feeling confused!
“Look it is a long story…I will explain later but right now I have got to speak to Paul and Shane. I am also gonna try Emma.”

Chapter Eight: ‘Since I Don’t Have You’

Steph knocked on Shane and Emma’s hotel room. She waited and waited. Finally Shane answered. “Oh, Steph…wasn’t expecting you” He said, leaving the door opened for her to come in. “Shay, where’s Emma?”
“Gone”
“Gone?” Shane nodded, biting his bottom lip. He handed her the letter that Emma had left him.

Dear Shane,
I have learnt that love only comes along once in a lifetime. It’s you that taught me there. I need you to know that you are my heart, soul, you’re my everything. But, when I see you and Steph, just seeing you two kiss…it showed me that you love each other. The way you hold her, embrace her…I don’t know, it just seemed different.

I love you Shane…but for my sake, yours and Steph’s, I’m leaving you. You know what they say, if you love someone…you’ve gotta let them go.

Goodbye.
Emma

As Steph lowered the page, thinking about what she had just read. She found Shane, down on one knee. “Shay? What are you…”
“Sshhh, Steph. This is hard enough without you questioning it. Ahem….” He cleared his throat, taking her left hand. “Steph, Emma’s left and she knows about us. I love you and you only. She’s giving us her blessing, now nothing can come between us. Stephanie, will you be my wife?” He asked followed by a smile.
“YES!!” Steph screamed without even thinking about it. She had tears flowing down her cheeks, tears of happiness.

Epilogue: ‘The Lady In Red’

One month later…

“BRYAN!! BRYAN!!” The crowd chanted. It was Steph’s birthday party and the whole crowd were standing on tables and chairs, cheering on Bryan to go up and sing a tune or two. He agreed and gave a wink to Steph.
“K, this is for Steph!” He smiled and sang the song, Lady In Red. When ever he’d sing the part ‘Lady in red’ he’d point to the red dress she was wearing which made everyone laugh, well, at 4 am and being very drunk, they’d laugh at anything.
Steph smiled as she sat on Shane’s knee, both swaying back and forth to Bryan’s voice. Steph thought about Emma constantly. Her mom wouldn’t tell where she was, she moved out of the house she lived in with Shane. Steph still felt guilty about the situation, taking Shane away from her best friend, even though that Emma had giving them their blessing. But, everyday that past, Steph and Shane wished the same thing, that she’d come back. Until then, what could they do? Enjoy life!
“Come on Lady in red, prove to me that you’re special!” Shane smiled, carrying her up the stairs to their hotel room. They couldn’t change what had happened between them, they were in love and weren’t about to deny that it wasn’t fair, not only on them but on other people as well. Neither of them could ever love another person properly, not when they knew the other one was out there waiting…

In a house across the town…….

Emma looked at Ben as he slept. She had finally begun to rebuild her life. What Steph and Shane had done to her still hurt but Ben had come along and slowly helped her get over it. They were going slowly not wanting to rush thing but she had finally decided to let him in, as she looked down at him she was glad she had. She may never feel the way she had about Shane again but maybe that kind of love wasn’t forever love maybe this slow build up was forever love and there was only one way to find that out! She was happy for Shane and Steph, well maybe not completely but maybe in time she would call them. Only time would tell.