BACK		Perfect Bliss

By Stephanie

Prologue

"Mom!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Yes dear?" Her voice echoed up the stairs. "Where's my make - up bag?" I asked, throwing everything and anything I could find off of my bed. My eyes suddenly came across a small, lilac, silky bag. "FOUND IT!!" I screamed again. I walked into the bathroom that was attached to my bedroom, humming to myself. As I was brushing my teeth, the silver ring that was wrapped around my wedding finger caught my attention. I glanced at it for a few seconds, thinking about when I had got it, and who had given it to me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I had started crying without even knowing it. I finished brushing my teeth before I got some tissue to wipe my wet eyes. I walked back into my room and lay back on my bed, crying and thinking back to six months before...

Chapter One

...march 2000...

"Sorry I'm late! I was kept..." "Don't! No more... eh... how do you put it, excuses" My boss shouted at me. He, Antonio, had just moved to Ireland, from Italy. He just opened a little restaurant here in Dublin, hoping to make good business, like any other business man. He was a little, round old man. His eyes were sunken in, he was unmarried, had no kids, had no girlfriend... but there was one thing he did have, a very bad temper! "Alright, I won't let it happen again" I said, looking at him through my fake, innocent eyes. I had been late because I had slept in, but I couldn't possibly tell him that or else I would be risking my job. I went around the counter, tying my white apron around my waist. I don't know what his problem was. Anyways, I was only 20 minutes late, plus... there were no customers. I sat on a high stool, resting my head on my hand.

Suddenly, the door flew open and in walked 3 guys, obviously builders. Their boots were covered in dry cement, as were their t- shirts and jeans. One of them was carrying a hard yellow hat under his arm too. "Ciara, Serve dem" I heard Antonio's voice from the back kitchen. "Alright, Alright" I mumbled, walking over as far as their table. My eyes met with one of the guys. 'Oh My God' was my first thought, my second was 'He's is FINE!' I smiled, trying hard to keep my eyes away from his but it was humanly impossible. It were as if we were connected by a magnetic force. "Ok boys, what would ya like" "Can I have three of those?" The guy that sat closest to me spoke. He pointed to the first meal on the menu. "Yea sure, anything else?" "And three cokes, please" This time he spoke, the man of my dreams. He had a voice like an angel. I couldn't believe what I was thinking. A guy who I had never even spoken to is the guy of my dreams? But it felt so right.

A week later and I had gotten to know them quiet well. They came in at the same time every day. The guy that I had fallen head over heels for was named Shane, and his mates were John and Phil. "Ciara, you a close up eh... tonight, yesa?"
"Yea Ant, I'll close up" I sighed, wiping the tables. Antonio, or Ant as I called him, actually had a date tonight. He had been a different man since Friday, and today being Monday, it was a pretty good few days. I was just hoping and wishing that it would last longer. I was broke out of my thoughts by the bells that was hung on top of the entrance. I turned around to find Shane, standing at the counter. "Sorry Hun, but we're closing now" I smiled, making my way over to him. He smiled back. "I know, but I came here to ask you something" He said, sitting down on one of the high stools. "Sure, go ahead" "Ok, well, I've been thinking about this for a while now, well, for the past week, since I met you and... well... ya see..." He went on like th at for about ten minutes which I found unbelievably funny. I soon found myself laughing, why do I get the giggles at the worst times! I thought as I bit my bottom lip, trying to keep a straight face. "I've said this about a million times on my way here and I can't even say it now" He smiled, and again, we locked eyes. My laughing suddenly disappeared and so did his smile. Our faces came closer and closer, just as we were about to kiss, the bell rang again.
"Ciara, there ya are!"

It was my brother, Simon. "What d'ya want Simon!?" I snapped at him. "What's that birds number again, I seemed to have lost it" He asked, in his English accent. My parents are divorced, they have been for the past 14 years. When I was six, and Simon was four, our parents separated us too. I stayed with my mom here in Ireland and Simon went to live with my dad in London. It was his 18th birthday and few weeks ago, so he did what he always wanted to do. Move in with mom. "Simon, her name is Rachel, not that bird, and her number is written on the back of your hand" I said while practically pushing him out of the restaurant. "Oh right, thanks sis, what would I do with out yaw! Cheerio" He laughed, and finally left. "Sorry about that" I smiled apologetically. "No bother, so as I was saying, would you like to come out with me sometime. We could go and see a movie or go out for dinner or..." "Yea, they all sound great to me" I said, jumping in on his sentence. It was 10:30, and I wa s meant to close at hour ago. If Ant knew about this he'd kill me.

Chapter Two

...may 2000...

"Good morning Shane, you're here early this morning" My mom yawned, I heard her and I was coming down the stairs. "Myself and Shane are going out for the day. Ant finally gave me a day off and I wasn't going to waste it" I said, grabbing an apple. "Bye mom" I said, closing the front door behind me. These past two months have been the best of my life. Myself and Shane are going steady. He's amazing, he really is. He's got everything, the looks, the charms... the personality. He's got amazing eyes, whenever we make eye contact, I feel as if I'm sinking in the. They're hazel/green, and sparkle whenever he's got exciting news for me. He's got short, brown hair and he's about 5'10. I couldn't ask for a better man. He's the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep and the first when I wake up. He's all I ever think about in everything I do, whenever I hear a love song with meaningful lyrics... I smile and think 'That's how I feel about Shane.'

"So, where are we off to then?" I asked, sitting into the passenger seat of his car. "Nowhere until I get my good morning kiss" He smiled. I laughed, giving him his kiss, the kiss I always look forward too. His soft lips, his soft hands that rub against my cheek as he places his lips on mine. He pulled back, licking his lips. "mmm... Cherry lip balm" I laughed, "Yea, different from yesterday"

As we drove to wherever we were going, I watched the little kids run up and down the pavement, the adults walking their dogs, the teenagers listening to their walkman or holding hands with their high school sweetheart. "A penny for you thoughts" Shane said, turning down some lane that I didn't recognise. "Where are we going?" He tapped his nose, implying 'Don't be nosey' I smiled. We drove for another 20 minutes before he stopped the car. "Ok, this is it" He said, getting out of the car. 'This?" I thought, looking around at the fields that lay ahead of his. I got out of the car and stood next to him. "Oh yes Shane, I've never seen grass before" I joked. "Not this, the car won't fit down this lane so we've gotta walk"

"Oh ok, lets go then" I smiled as he took my hand into his. "I wish you would have told me where we were going, I mean, this isn't exactly walking gear, is it?" I asked, looking down at my outfit. I was wearing light blue jeans, a white, woolly polo neck, black leather boots and a long, brown, leather jacket.
"You look gorgeous" He said, embracing me with a hug before kissing me passionately. We walked for a good half an hour before we reached our destination. It was beautiful. The place was full of wet rocks and a huge waterfall. We stood on top of the highest rock and looked at the view. I was taken back. I couldn't even speak, it's beauty was amazing. "Like it?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, placing his head on my shoulder. "Shane, it's... I can't even describe how amazing this is." He turned me around to face him. "Ciara, I brought you here today to tell you something." He took a deep breath. "Ciara, I've never felt this way about anyone in my life, I love you" He sighed, as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I smiled, tears of joy welled up in my eyes. "I love you too" I whispered. He smiled, hugging me so tight, as if he was never going to let me go.

Chapter Three

...july 2000...

"There you are" I laughed. Myself and Shane's niece were having a game of hiding - go - seek. She was gorgeous. I love playing with her, as I carried her around the garden, a feeling hit me. 'I want a baby' but I didn't feel like discussing it with Shane when I seen him walking towards us, I think I'd leave it until the time was right. He came over, giving me a peck on the cheek. "Hey there Emma, how's my girl today?" She laughed as he gave her a piggy back. I sat down on the warm, dry grass, watching them fool around. She was only 4 years old, but she was a lot of fun for her age. I played around with her little, squeaky toy while I watched her run around, followed closely by Shane. I had to laugh, he was definitely a kid at heart.

An hour later, I was sitting in the same place watching them. Suddenly, Emma's mom called her in for something to eat. Shane made his way over to me. "Hey babe" He said breathlessly before collapsing. I laughed, jumping on top of him.
He let out a loud groan. "Oh you're going to pay for that!" He said. I got up quickly, running as fast as I could. But I tripped over one of Emma's toys, and so did Emma. He landed right on top of him. The both of us could stop laughing.
It was uncontrollable. "You ok!!!??" Shane's bother, Martin, called out from the kitchen window. None of us could answer, but nod. Finally, when all of the laughter was gone, Shane pulled out a velvet box out of his pocket, and he got down on one knee. I sat up quickly. "Shane, what..." He placed his finger on my lips. "Ciara, I love you with all over my heart and soul, will you marry me?" It was short, but sweet. I starting crying, nodding my head so fast it was going about 90 miles per hour. I couldn't talk. I was actually speechless, if Simon were here he'd probably say 'Well, there's a first time for everything'. He placed the ring on my finger. This was the most happiest moment of my life, yet did I know that a month to the day, it was be my worst.

Chapter Four

...august 2000...

"MOM!!!" I screamed, running into the kitchen. "WHAT!?" She asked, looking at me with fear in her eyes. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad, but I'm pregnant!" I jumped up and down with glee, this was the perfect birthday present, on my 21st birthday, I find out I'm pregnant. Coincidence or what? Mom hugged me so tight that tears ran down my cheeks. I could tell she was crying because I could feel her vibrate. "I've got to call Shane!" Is said, running to the phone. I was so excited that I must have dialled the wrong number about 10 times. His phone was ringing and ringing but there was no answer. Just as I was about to try again, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it mom, it's probably Shane" I skipped to the door like a five year old that just found out Santa was here. I opened the door to find Martin there. He was pale and had puffy, red eyes. He didn't say anything, he came right up to me and hugged me. When I faced him again he was crying. "Martin, what's wrong with you ?"

"Ciara, I'm sorry I have to be the one to break the news to you" He said, sobbing. "But Shane past away about half an hour ago" I started at him. Suddenly the past 6 months flashed before my eyes, the restaurant, the nights we went out clubbing, when he told me he loved me, when he proposed. I fell to the ground and started screaming. "WHY!?!?!?!?" Over and over again.

Chapter Five

...2 days later, the funeral...

I sat next to Shane's mother at the funeral. We comforted each other, even though it was the first time we first met, I felt like I had known her all my life. I didn't even look at the coffin the whole time I sat there, I stared at the floor instead. I couldn't take it. I hadn't slept or eaten in two days.

Finally, the mass was over and done with. He was a Liverpool fanatic, therefore as the coffin was carried down the aisle by his brother, Martin, his two best mates, John and Phil, and his dad James, the song 'You'll Never Walk Alone' was played in the background. Too much happened on that day, 4th of August. I found out I was pregnant, I was 21 - looking forward to my birthday party, spending it with Shane... and most of all, finding out he was dead.

I didn't go to the pub afterwards, where there was dinner and stuff. I went to the place where he had confessed his love towards me, the most amazing place I could ever be, or go. But it wasn't the same anymore... nothing was. Everything had lost it's glow, all because of Shane.

Epilogue

And now I sit here, a month later, staring up at the ceiling, rubbing my engagement ring, and thinking about my life. Not only did I lose my love, my soul, my rock... It was my babies anniversary, a week before I had found out that it died inside of me. I couldn't believe the bad luck I had, the things I had to go through in one month. But, after this, it would be all over, after this I would be with my baby and Shane again. I swallowed the pills and let darkness surround me...