BACK		If Only Through Heaven's Eyes

Mark, we gotta go.? I pulled on the sleeve of Mark?s polo shirt. He was already too drunk from all the vodkas and coolers.
Mark slapped my hand away. ?No! I want to stay! This party is totally off the wall!? he slurred and picked up a can of beer.
I sighed. Mark was right. The party was totally crazy. Some guys from Mark?s college decided to have a frat party to celebrate the midterms. Since I was good friends with Mark, he made me come with him.
?No Mark. You?re coming with me. You?re totally wasted.? I grabbed the beer away from Mark and heaved him up.
His breath ranked of strong alcohol. I couldn?t possibly bring him back to his house. His mother would totally kill him. ?We?re going to take a taxi to my apartment okay?? I hung onto Mark?s shoulders and he belched in my face.
?Aww?. Have I ever told you that you looked really hot tonight Colinne?? Mark started to giggle.
?My name is Kelly, not Colinne,? I groaned as Mark exhaled in front of my face.
?For the last time, get a move on!? I hissed at him.

?Posters of love surrounding me?. I?m lost in a world of fantasy?. Every night she comes to me and gives me all the love I need!? Mark sang as we waited out on the sidewalk for the taxi to come.
?Shh! It?s 3 A.M. in the morning!? I patted Mark?s cheeks to keep him awake and not passed out.
His face started to turn white. ?Err? I don?t feel so good.?
?Oh no.? I whispered to myself. ?Don?t let him puke all over the sidewalk.? I prayed as Mark clutched his stomach.
It was too late. He stumbled into the middle of the road and started to puke down a storm drain. I noticed a car coming down the street. Its headlights were bright and it was speeding.
?Mark!? I screamed and grabbed his arm to pull him to the sidewalk but his drunken stature made me fall to my knees. All I could see were bright white lights??

Mark felt Kelly pull his arm as the car sped towards them. He wasn?t too sure what happened but a few seconds later he saw her lifeless body lying on the road. Her shoes were gone and her white shirt was covered with black marks and bloodstains.
?Oh my god?? Mark whispered and shrugged off his drunken behaviour to help Kelly.
He shook her shoulders. They were so stiff and all he could hear were groans coming from her mouth.
?I?m so sorry?.? Mark told her as Kelly blinked her eyes. Her beautiful brown hair was matted with blood and her eyes were stained with tears. ?I did this to you.? Mark couldn?t believe that Kelly had risked her life to save him from the car.
?Mark?? Kelly breathed out and gasped. ?Get some? help.? Kelly shuddered and started to breathe heavily.

I never thought you were a fair weathered friend
You never let me down
You?re true to the end
You?re in the darkest hour
When all was lost
Somehow you left the light on
You faced the wrong
And showed the world a thing or two
Stood up for me, for you
And you should know??

?I can?t leave you here.? Mark panicked and looked around to find someone. It was 3 A.M. in the morning and no one was out there obviously.
?Please go.? Kelly cried softly and tried to move her hand, and Mark saw she couldn?t.
?Okay, okay. I?ll go for some help. The party?s only a minute away. Will you be alright?? Mark checked Kelly?s face.
?I won?t forget you. You?re Ricky to my Lucy? She whispered and shuddered even more violently.
Mark gasped. ?Don?t say that. You will not die. I?ll go find some help.?

Some say it wasn?t worth the things we went through
(We went through)
I say it ain?t worth losing you
(Losing you)
I hope you know how much you?ve changed all of our lives
Someday you?ll see if only through heaven?s eyes

***** Hospital ? 35 minutes later *****

?Mark! What the hell happened?? Kelly?s dad screamed at Mark in the waiting room. Mark had managed to call for help and got her to the hospital in 15 minutes. He couldn?t figure out what to say to Kelly?s dad.
?Honey, calm down. It?s not Mark?s fault.? Kelly?s mom whispered to her husband in tears.
Mark couldn?t believe that because of the stupid party, he nearly got Kelly killed. He sat down in a chair, blank-eyed and emotionless.
A doctor came in a few minutes later with a grim look on his face. ?We did all we could. The impact was just too great. It was amazing she survived the first half hour. I?m sorry.? The doctor shook his head and walked away.
?Oh!? Kelly?s mom sobbed and buried her head in her husband?s chest.

I still remember the things you said
I keep your words alive
?Cause in the final hour
You made me proud
So proud I could know you
You told the world it?s time they believed in you
You stood for right and truth
And you should know??

?She?s dead?? Mark asked himself with tears falling down from his eyes. ?She can?t be dead! It?s all my fault!? Mark sobbed and covered his eyes with his hands.
?It?s not your fault. It was an accident.? Kelly?s older sister Joanna hugged Mark while crying too. ?She loves you.? Joanna murmured as Mark cried on her shoulder.

Some say it wasn?t worth the things we went through
(We went through)
I say it ain?t worth losing you
(Losing you)
I hope you know how much you?ve changed all of our lives
Someday you?ll see if only through heaven?s eyes

***** Four months later *****

?Kelly would have wanted you to have this.? Kelly?s mom handed Mark a cardboard box full of assorted things like pictures and clothes. ?You were her closest friend. Probably her best friend.? Her mother?s lips trembled.
Mark set the box on the kitchen table and started to go through it, examining each item slowly, remembering that particular memory of each item. One of the items he found was a picture of him and Kelly in a photo booth wearing their Halloween costumes as a gag two years ago. Mark smiled as he looked at Kelly?s beaming face. She was dressed up as Playboy bunny and Mark himself as Hugh Hefner, wearing a satin robe and all, to Kelly?s request.
But that was all over now. She was gone and never coming back. Tears started to flood Mark?s eyes again as he put the picture, now only a memory, back in the box.

And so we can?t forget
We?ve got to keep remembering them all
Once she took the fall
They did it for us all
And we should learn from it
Stand up if you believe in it
You?ve got to face the world
Be strong??

?Mark, can I recite Kelly?s favourite poem to you. Maybe it?ll bring words of comfort to you. I know it did with me. She may never be coming back, but at least I know she?s right here.? Kelly?s mom pointed to her heart.
Mark nodded and waited to hear it. Maybe the poem would help ease his mind.

?When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do,
You must not tie yourself to me with tears.
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave to you my love, you can only guess,
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown.
But now it?s time I travel on alone.
So grieve a while for me, for grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It?s only for a while that we must part.
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won?t be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come,
Thought you can?t see me or touch me, I?ll be near,
And if you listen with your heart, you?ll hear,
All of my love around you soft and clear.
And then when you must come this way alone,
I?ll greet you with a smile and say,
?Welcome home?.

Kelly?s mom sighed and pulled up a chair next to Mark. ?I miss her so much. Her smile, her laugh, and even her singing in the shower.?
?I know. I always liked her singing in the shower.? Mark chuckled. It was the first time since her death that he had actually laughed.
?You were the only one who did, Mark. Just take this poem with you and every time you feel like you need a good cry, just read it and you know she?ll be there right by you.? Kelly?s mom handed him the poem that she just had read.
?Thanks Mrs.Leary.? Mark clutched the poem in his hand, not wanting to let it slip away, like the way Kelly did.
?You?re welcome. Now I can see why Kelly always liked you. You?re such a good friend to her and of course, us. We just have to take each day slowly. You hear me?? Kelly?s mom smiled at Mark.
?Yeah. I do. Thanks for giving me this stuff,? Mark got up. ?I?ll see you around okay??
?I hope so too.? She replied and showed Mark the way out.
?God Kelly?? Mark whispered to himself as he walked home. ?I wish?.? Mark sighed. ?What?s the use of wishing? It?s not gonna bring you back.?
Mark read the poem that Kelly?s mother had given him and sniffled. ?Like you always said before, you?ll be Lucy to my Ricky.?

Some say it wasn?t worth the things we went through
(We went through)
I say it ain?t worth losing you
(Losing you)
I hope you know how much you?ve changed all of our lives
Someday you?ll see if only through heaven?s eyes

Lyrics ~ If Only Through Heaven?s Eyes ~ ?N Sync in ?You Light Up My Life?