BACK		Without You

By Mattie

I tapped my fingers nervously on the bare café table. It was a warm October afternoon and the sun was shining among the colourful fall leaves. Yet, to me, it seemed dreary and lonely.
I glanced at my watch and saw it was already 5:00 P.M. Mark was an hour late and it didn?t seem he was going to show up.
?Typical of you Mark. Always forgetting about everything.? I muttered to myself and picked up my bag. I wasn?t going to stand for his idleness in our relationship anymore. This last minute ditch plan of his was just the last straw.
?Three years. Three whole years,? I continued to mutter as I walked down the avenue and watch the leaves fall from the nearly bare trees. ?Such irony it is. We?re empty now, like the trees.?

Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows

Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play

The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you

Mark desperately searched the café crowd for Toni, but there was no sight of her. He was late again. Well, he was always late, as usual.
?I shouldn?t have been talking to these girls!? Mark thought as he angrily slumped himself down on a bare stool. ?Why did I have to make her go through all this?? He sighed and motioned the waitress for a hot cup of tea.
Mark never knew why Toni would stay with him. How long had they been dating for? Three years?. Maybe a little bit more than that. And all the time, she would act like everything was okay and he knew she wasn?t but never bothered to get into an argument with her.

The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you

Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The clouds moves

Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The ocean crashes

The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you

Mark pulled out his brand new cell phone and dialed Toni?s number, hoping she wasn?t too mad at him.
?Hello?? her innocent voice answered.
Mark felt like he was going to stutter endlessly. ?Tones, it?s me. I?m at the café.?
A long silence could be felt.
?Oh, it?s nice to see that you actually bothered to show up Mark. Like usual, you?re late and I?m seriously reconsidering this relationship with you.? She finally replied with a stern voice.
?Baby, I?m sorry. There was these two girls ?.?
?Girls? Mark! Grow up!? Toni yelled and took a deep breath. ?Mark, I think we should consider our options. About us, I mean.? She quieted down and sighed.

The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you

?Options?? Mark whispered and pushed away the cup of tea the waitress had given him a minute ago. ?Are you saying that you want us to break up??
?Maybe. I do really love you Mark, but what you?re doing to me?. I can?t take that anymore.? Mark could hear Toni starting to cry.
?I love you too?. I realize I?m not the same person as I was when we first started dating, and I?m truly sorry for that.?

I brushed away a tear from my face and settled down on the couch in my flat.
Mark was right. He wasn?t the same person anymore. Not a single bit. He was more tired and moody, not to mention suspicious about every single thing.
?You?re right. You?re not and I don?t love the way you are now.? I replied and fingered the telephone cord.

The world revives
Colours renew

But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me blue
Without you

Mark gulped as he heard her answer. He could imagine her all cuddled up on her huge sofa with her dark brown hair gracefully sweeping her shoulders and her legs huddled up to her chest. But there was one thing missing from that picture. It was him.

Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats

I sucked in my cheeks and my heart pounded. I realized that I didn?t love Mark anymore. He wasn?t the normal Mark that I fell in love with. He didn?t have his weird sense of humour, his charm and irresistible personality anymore. He no longer wanted to hug me or even kiss me. He no longer called me to tell me that he missed me desperately and wanted to me to hold him tight. Fame had changed him in a way ? permanently.

Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe

The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry

Life goes on
But I?m gone
?Cause I die
Without you??

?It?s over Mark. It?s for my own good.? I finally said it out loud and I heard Mark grinding his teeth.
?Fine. If that?s the way you want it.? He bitterly said and I knew he was hurting so much that he couldn?t just show the pain. Fame had changed that as well.

Without you??

?And I hope, in time, you?ll come to realize why I did this, and maybe you can actually find some speck of happiness in your life Mark.? I said without a breath.
?Yeah.? He muttered and a heavy sigh could be heard. ?Whatever you say.?

Without you??

?Bye.? I whispered and hung up the phone, struggling to hold back my tears. But I could not, for Mark had been too much a part of my life. It was like someone had punched a hole in my heart and all that was left was a huge chunk missing.

Without you??

Mark closed his cell phone in sadness. His first love had given up on him. It wasn?t much of a surprise. The other lads had told her to give up on Mark, for he was a changed man, and nothing could really been done.
?Oh Toni?.? Mark whispered and rubbed his temples. ?If you only knew?. How much?. I loved you?.? He sighed and closed his eyes. A part of him knew that he would always love her, even though she didn?t love him anymore.

Without you??

~ Lyrics ~ Without You ~ ?Rent? Broadway soundtrack