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| What are the rules? Also known as Etiquette In Swinging. These rules for swinging are common throughout the swinging community and were extracted from the New England Swingers News Letter of June 2nd, 1998. (Thanks Chrissy& Laura) BE COURTEOUS - Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities, uncertainties, and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence, courtesy is our way of treating people just the way we ourselves want to be treated. Please remember and practice all the rules listed here. BE FRIENDLY - Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you are compatible and do wish to share time. GO PREPARED - Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush and toothpaste, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, CONDOMS, vaginal lubricant (it is not the hosts responsibility to provide you with these articles (IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY). If you are going to stay overnight always ask the host(s) if sleeping linen (ie, sheets, pillow cases or blankets will be needed to bring along). CLEANLINESS - Nothing turns a person off faster than and more effectively than an unclean body, dirty fingernails, or unfresh breath (or poor oral hygiene). Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, its always a good idea to freshen up again before you get together with a prospective new partner(s). It's amazing what time and a long drive somewhere, stopping for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather UNDO. DON'T BE PUSHY - If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "NO, THANK YOU" do not ask "WHY". No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. DO NOT EVER FORGET THAT!!!! ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU - Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are participating in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want. HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO - One of the basic etiquettes in swinging is the right of anyone to say "NO". Experience has taught most people that everyone is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to a lot of hurt feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "NO" to anyone at anytime without explanation and it should be done with a simple "NO, THANK YOU". Never ever give an explanation, because that usually causes the problems and the pain. ALCOHOL OR DRUGS - Use common sense, respect others and Be Responsible PRACTICE SAFER SEX - It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases, the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take precautions is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection. ENJOY YOURSELVES - Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude. And always remember that this lifestyle is a recreational sexual activity and that your first and ONLY responsibility is to your significant other and family. YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER LET THIS LIFESTYLE GET BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, AND NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED IN THE LIFESTYLE AND/OR WITH ANY OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU SHARE TIME WITH! NEVER INTERRUPT YOUR PARTNER - The most indignant and selfish thing a partner can do during a sexual get together with another couple is to have one partner insist that his or her significant partner stop having sex, because that particular person finished first. This is a very bad posture to take, and is a demeaning, insulting and selfish thing to do. If you happen to finish before your partner, PLEASE have common courtesy and respect for others, go have a cup of coffee or other drink and chill out for a while, and let your partner and who he or she is with finish their interlude. IF THIS IS A PROBLEM FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN THE LIFESTYLE!!!. |
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