|
My eighth theory deals with thrift stores. When i was at a thrift store last week (look for cheap bongs) i came across a rack full of brand new jeans when i found my size (xxxxl) there was only one pair left my size so brought them up to the counter. The lady at the register asked if i found everything, so i told her no, and that i came looking for something but couldn't remember. I bought the jeans for a dollar and walked out. By this time i realized i had been video taped the whole time i was in the thriftt store. So i began to run home. On my way i passed another thrift store, i then realized i never noticed that all these thrift stores where near my mom's house. So i went into this next one and saw there pants were ten dollars. So i sold the dollar pair at this thrift store for ten dollars. Realizing this could make me enought money for expanding my mind for like 2 dayss i went in the back alley of the local walmart and robbed a cart i brought this to the first thrift store and bought out the jeans. Halfway to the other thrift store i realized that this must've been set up these thrift stores must be working together with the local crack dealer, by buying and reselling to other thrift stores druggies would actually have some money to buy drugs so then the drug dealers are profiting off all this and then buying hi-tech alien weapons to sell to gangs to continue the war between alien haters and sympathizers. I reached the thrift store as i finished my 7th joint that morning, i went in and sold the cart and all, that morning i made about 1200 dolars. I decided to go to my old freind donald gates's house and see what he though we should do. As i went in i put my money away just incase there was someone i didn't know there. I saw donald and a local drug dealer, one of the thrift store employees, and a crip gang member. I sat down and waited for the three people to leave then told donald my findings he immedeately, he said that they were trying to get him to help fund some new "project" of their's and he said no to them. So me and gates went out to party and i spent all my money on an assortment of drugs. That night i do not remember a thing about, all i remember is the next morning i was in that target three towns away with my friend sam hunter who traveled through dimensions to come get me, he said that he was here to save me from the security guards, as we left the vegetable isle we walked toward this big maachine he said was an interdimensional traveling taaxi subway thingy. So i pulled out my zippo and a joint and dreagged that bastard down in like two puffs we walked into it and i felt almost like a metal pipe to the back of my head when i opened my eyes we were in the back of my neighbors house laying in a blow-up pool. We went to my basement and sam explained to me how he had traveled to the aliens home planet and barely excaped, he learned that they are starting a war with a rival planet that wants to take control of earth and harvest our body parts to create living machines that created energy to power their planets electronics and their spaceships. Hearing this i lit one of my majikul incenses that allows me to communicate with my "connections" in the alien fleet. When i was discussiing with them what i had heard they confirmed what sam said and told me i had to stop the war on earth while they deal with the batllle between the two alien races. So they sent me back to my house, i hadn't realized i had spent all night with the aliens so i went inside and had my mom get me breakfast. |
|
